Magical Appuruchan
by sugarbug
Summary: Kyona, daughter of the heroine of Castanet and the Harvest God, dreams of being a magical girl. When she recieves five mysterious magical pens in the mail that may or may not have been from her father, and evil rises on Castanet, this may be her chance.
1. MAJIKARU APPURUCHAN DEBYUU!

Another attempt at Harvest Moon fan fiction.

Based on Animal Parade, though it takes extreme liberties with... well... everything. It mostly only qualifies as a Harvest Moon fanfic because it uses the characters therein.

It gets better in later chapters, I swear.

* * *

In a galaxy far, far away—okay, fine, it happened on Earth.

There was Akari, and there was the Harvest God. Akari was an endearing young lady. She helped all of the girls get married and even won a couple of hearts for herself. Her overall amazingness had even gone so far as to help her save the island, and meet the Harvest God, who, she was quick to discover, was a jerk. At first, Akari was just another pesky human, but a few daily visits accompanied by shiny apples changed that. In the beginning, Akari only visited the Harvest God for the lulz. After all, when you've saved an entire island and will pretty much be held on a pedestal for the rest of your life, what else is there to do? She certainly had a lot of free time.

And so, with the Harvest God in love and that love reciprocated, they married. Unfortunately, the Harvest God could not live with his wife, but with a house upgrade and a rather embarrassing letter from the mayor, they had a child. Two years later, they had another one. Thus, Akari was not lonely.

There were many perks to being married to the Harvest God, since he basically had control over the entire island. Among them, Akari got free cable from the mainland. This included many anime channels, and so, a magical girl junkie was born. Her name was Kyona, and she was the daughter of Akari and the Harvest God.

… That wasn't obvious, was it?

Kyona spent many years fangirling over such gems as "Shining Star," "Loli Princess," and her personal favorite, "Super Pretty Pink Diamond." This caused much confusion for the other girls of the island, who did not have Harvest Gods for fathers and thus, did not get free cable from the mainland.

But from that fangirling, grew a dream. A dream to become a magical girl, and join the ranks of the pink, sparkly and endearingly clumsy. She swore that someday, she would achieve that dream.

Somehow.

Maybe.

It's possible.

Plausible.

Okay, most definitely.

Enjoy your lack of anticipation.

-

"And now, I, Super Pretty Pink Diamond, shall fill your heart with love!" The TV boomed. The young red-headed woman, Kyona, stood from her position in front of it. Sprawled on the couch, her equally red-headed brother, Zack, was reading a book, wearing headphone to combat the noise. From the kitchen, their mother, Akari, half-watched, with mild interest, as she cleaned the dishes. "Super…Pretty…Sunshine!" On the screen, an epileptic amount of bright pink and sparkles appeared.

"Super…Pretty…Sunshine!" Kyona yelled, imitating her idol. Zack, who happened to glance up from his book at just the wrong time, rolled his eyes at her. Fin, a small orange harvest sprite, was sitting on the counter.

"Oh!" he said, suddenly, and then flew away, unnoticed.

And then the TV went black.

"Hey, what the…" Kyona wondered aloud. She turned around, only to see her mother waving the remote control, smugly.

"Bed time," Akari explained.

"Mom, I'm thirteen years old." Kyona whined.

"Thirteen year olds don't normally stand up to join Super Pretty Pink Diamond in using her attack. Besides, it's getting late." Akari argued. Kyona sighed, marching to her room.

"Soon, you'll have to grow out of that stuff…" Akari mumbled. "Hey, where'd Fin go?"

-

Elsewhere, in the dead of night, the Harvest God stood, his eyes closed, contemplating. All of a sudden, Fin flew up to him.

"Harvest Gooood! Did you feel that!?" Fin called out. The Harvest God only lazily opened one eye to look at Fin.

"Something bad's going to happen. The island's not going to be threatened, but Kyona…my only daughter…" Fin nodded.

"Exactly. What are your orders, Sir?" Fin inquired, as if he were talking to a military sergeant.

"For you? Nothing. I made a request for the Harvest Goddess to send some…help. If you want to help, make sure he gets there safely."

"Aye-aye, captain!" Fin said, saluting him. He then flew off.

-

That night, Kyona dreamed of being a magical girl…

-

The next morning, Kyona was about to bolt out of the door, when her mother stopped her.

"You got some mail," she said.

"Mail?" Kyona perked up.

"Yea…from some unknown address. Just open it." And Kyona did. What she found was no letter, but instead five pens. A red one, with an apple charm on the end, a yellow one, with a cocoa fruit charm on the end, a blue one, with an eggplant charm on the end, an orange one, with a pumpkin charm on the end, and a purple one, with a yam charm on the end.

Kyona stuffed them into her rucksack and forgot about them for awhile.

In the morning, all the good children of Castanet went to school. This, of course, meant that Zack was not a good child. Since he was older than the other children, and thus, supposedly, at a higher learning level, he ritualistically skipped school, opting instead to run off to somewhere that he could be by himself.

Kyona, however, went to school every day. And she hated it. She hated trudging through the cold, damp morning. She hated learning things that she'd never need to know. She hated all the work and tests. She wished she could just drop out and become a full-time farmer, but her mother would have none of that.

-

Kyona scanned the room, half-listening to the teacher's lecture.

First, there was Vivian. She sat at the front of the class to make sure she heard everything right. She was smart, had good fashion sense, knew how to sow, etc. etc. Vivian was as pompous and arrogant as her father. Kyona hated her. Vivian's only purpose, as far as Kyona was concerned, was to fill the role of "tsundere."

And then there was Vivian's cousin, Angie. Angie sat at the back of the class so that no one would pay attention to her. She was considerably better-dressed than the rest of the class, which, considering that they wore uniforms, only meant that she had nise shoes and socks.

And then there was Lucy. She was the living embodiment of ENERGY. If it weren't for her clothes and flower bandana, she could be mistaken for a boy.

And then there was Dakota. She was kind of a brat. Her only real skill was cooking,, but she hated it. She only ever cooked to try to win the heart of her crush, Heath. It never worked.

Kyona began to suspect that the lecture would never end, and lunch would never come, but it finally did.

-

Meanwhile, in Akari's farm, a tiny pink harvest sprite arrived, unnoticed. Like a spy, he flew to Kyona's window and slipped under her pillow, with everyone none the wiser.

-

Dakota skipped merrily over to Heath, a bento in one hand.

"Heath, I made this for you~" she sing-songed.

"Wow, that's nice of you, Dakota, but my mom already made a lunch for me, so sorry."

Dakota stood like an ice statue, a disappointed expression plastered on her face. Heath walked away, oblivious.

-

Kyona sat off in her own little corner, in her own little world, hardly touching her food.

-

Dakota was devouring her lunches at the speed of sound, swallowing between sobs, for she was hysterically crying.

"You'll get fat eating so much…" Angie murmured.

"You look like a pig." Vivian said, bluntly.

"I don't care! Heath won't accept my lunch, so I have to eat them both!" Dakota cried, dramatically.

"W-well, the last time that Heath came to school without lunch, you forgot to make one for him…" Angie pointed.

"Ha~ the solution to this is simple~ an eating contest! That'll get your mind off of Mr. Green Hair~" Lucy interjected, grabbing her lunch and shoving it down her throat at a rate rivaling Dakota's.

"Lucy, that's not good for you…" Angie warned.

"Idiot," Vivian said, bluntly.

Lucy stopped, suddenly. Her face turned blue and her stomach groaned. She held it, tenderly.

"I…I have failed~" She moaned, in an over-the-top depressed way.

"I warned you…" Angie mumbled.

"You're an idiot. I have no sympathy for you." Vivian scolded. Dakota, done with her own lunch, opened the one intended for Heath, still weeping.

"Y-you're…not going to eat that, are you…?" Angie inquired, cautiously.

"Over-eating won't do anything." Vivian sneered. She snatched up the three rice balls in the lunchbox. "Just to make sure that you don't eat too much, I'll be eating these."

"Hey!" Dakota protested.

"Ha! Tough love for a comrade! In that case, I'll eat these~" Lucy snatched up the pieces of sushi—all five of them—and stuffed them in her mouth, all at the same time.

"Lucy! That's—" Angie cried, desperately. It fell on deaf ears. Vivian was preoccupied with chewing her rice balls, so it would be rude to make a brutally blunt comment at the moment, when she had her mouth full.

"Stop eating my fooood." Dakota whined.

"Cry more." Vivian said, between bites. "You can have the rice. Angie, here. You eat the sandwiches." Angie, at first, stared at them, warily, but she eventually gave in and ate them.

-

Kyona was having a wonderful daydream wherein she was Super Pretty Pink Diamond and she saved the city and everybody was cheering for her.

"Um…excuse me, Kyona?" Kyona nearly jumped at the sound of Angie's voice. "S-sorry…"

"No, no, it's okay." Kyona insisted.

"Um…okay, well…would you like this miso soup? Dakota was going to give it to Heath, but he didn't want it…" from behind Angie, Kyona could see Dakota glaring at her, as if to say "take that soup and _I will carve your heart out with a spatula._"

"Uh…no thanks, Angie, but thank you for offering," Kyona finally said, nervously. Angie nodded in vague understanding and walked away.

-

After school, Lucy was racing Roy, but she was really just racing herself, because Roy wasn't even trying, Angie and Vivian walked to the Tailor Shop together, Dakota was harassing Heath to walk her home, and Kyona wasn't paying attention and ended up walking to Tam-Tam Forest, right past her own home.

She walked all the way to the front door of a house and opened the door—which, of course, wasn't locked, no door in town was during the day, usually—and it took the sound of Latin chanting from the witch for her to realize.

"Wait a minute…this isn't my house!"

The witch, hearing the noise, stopped chanting and turned around.

"What are you doing here? Get out! Out, I say! Out of my house!" The witch commanded, overdramatically.

The next thing Kyona knew, she had been thrown face-first into the swamp in front of the witch's house.

The swamp, of course, was very dirty. And thus, it made Kyona very dirty. She stood up, grumbling.

She was about to walk away, when there was a sound from behind her. It wasn't just any sound, but the sound of a giant turtle coming at her.

"WHAT THE HECK?" She managed to cry, before leaping out of the way. She stood up and ran, finding refuge in a tree. As the giant turtle ran past, she felt an immense power coming from her bag.

It was the red pen, with the apple charm.

Without warning, it started to glow, and she had a transformation sequence, in which she skipped around as various pieces of clothes formed around her.

"Magical Appuru-chan!" She called out, when the transformation was complete.

Kyona, or rather, Magical Appuru-chan, was elated at this sudden turn of events. Overwhelmed with the power of JUSTICE!!! She pointed at the giant turtle, who had re-directed and was once again coming at her.

"Your evil deeds shall not go unpunished! I'll show you the consequences of…uh…being a giant turtle!" She called out, pathetically. She had rehearsed that catchphrase a million times, but suddenly it meant nothing. It was mitigated by the fact that she was kind of hoping for a more dastardly villain.

The turtle charged at her, and she suddenly noticed that she was still holding the red pen.

And then it suddenly turned into a scepter.

"Haha, awesome. So this is my weapon. But what's my attack name?" Kyona pondered that for a moment, but she had no time. The turtle still charged at her. "ROD TO THE HEAD!" She yelled throwing the rod at the turtle. It glowed, and the turtle turned back to its normal size, and stopped being violent. "Aww, that's my attack? Fine, I'll have to come up with a better name for it…"

-

Kyona went home, ignoring her mother's nagging. After all, what business was it of hers that Kyona was almost killed?

Upstairs, Kyona's head hit the pillow, and somebody screamed.

The pink harvest sprite wiggled his way out of Kyona's pillow-hold. Kyona, suddenly wide awake, jumped off of her bed and crab-walked across the floor.

TO BE CONTINUED...


	2. Hime no Debyuu!

By the way, the title is supposed to be Magical Appuru-chan~ but the site keeps killing my hyphens and tildes.

* * *

There was a knock on Kyona's door.

"Kyona, I heard a scream…are you alright in there? …What happened today, anyway?" It was Kyona's mother, Akari. The little pink harvest sprite made a shushing motion with his hands and lips.

"Everything's fine, Mom!" Kyona called out. It was, of course, a lie.

"If you say so…but take a bath tonight. You're filthy!" Kyona heard footsteps, which indicated that her mother was walking away. Kyona looked down at herself, sudden remembrance dawning on her.

"Okay, little sprite," she said, pointing an accusing finger. "You'd better have an explanation for me when I get back!" She walked out of the room.

-

A mysterious figure advanced toward Kyona's house, jumped on a tree outside on Kyona's window, and perched, waiting. Yes, it was kinda creepy.

-

An hour later, Kyona emerged through the door, now in her rather skimpy apple-themed red pajamas.

The figure, who seemed to be a rather dedicated stalker, was still poised on the branch, a black silhouette among the leaves. Kyona, therefore, did not see him.

"Okay," Kyona smacked the poor creature to the floor and put her foot on him to trap him there. "Now, let's start with your name."

"I…am…" the sprite sputtered. It was not an attempt at suspense. Rather, it was a side effect of his dazedness. "… Hold on a second… give me a minute… I'm pretty sure it starts with a 'G'…"

Kyona impatiently tapped the foot that was not holding the sprite down.

"Oh, that's it! Now, I remember; my name is…Gonzalo!" Kyona stifled a snicker.

"That name is far too badass for you. From now on, your name is Gary." Kyona said, matter-of-fact.

"But… I…" the harvest sprite, dubbed Gary, protested in vain.

"So, Gary, what are you doing here?" Kyona continued.

"I'm here to make sure that you're safe!" This time, Gary was able to answer immediately.

"Safe? From what?" Kyona inquired, dimly. "…Does it have something to do with that giant turtle I defeated earlier?"

"We don't know…something…wait, you defeated a giant turtle earlier?" Kyona proudly put her hands on her hips and chuckled.

"Yep! I beat it with the mighty power of… uh… this pen someone sent me!" She held the red apple pen out to him. Gary managed to squirm out of Kyona's foot-grasp to inspect it.

"Hmmm… so it's a magic pen." He observed, still looking at it.

"You… you can tell just by looking?" Kyona said, dumbfounded.

"I can sense the magic in it. But I can't verify that it was from your dad." He said.

"Huh… I don't know of anyone else who would send them to me."

"Them? There's more?"

"Yeah!" Kyona held out the four other pens for him to see. "By the way, why didn't you want my mom to hear about you?"

"I have specific orders not to let her know that I exist. If she found out, she'd have to learn why I was created, and if she found out that you were in danger, she'd be worried and get ugly stress lines and allegedly 'ruin her beautiful face'."

"Tch. Nice to know where Dad's priorities lie. He must love her personality so much." Kyona scoffed, sarcastically.

"Oh, yeah. He mentioned something about that, too. He said 'it's not a reason, just a bonus'… do you think he's psychic?"

"Not psychic. Just all-knowing."

"Ha. Must sucks for you, then. I bet you can't get away with anything." Kyona smacked Gary downward, once again putting her foot on him. This time, she moved her foot in a motion that rubbed him deeper into the floor. She stopped, suddenly, finally realizing that something was amiss.

She rushed to her window and opened it, abruptly.

"MATT, YOU CREEP. I TOLD YOU, IF YOU'RE GOING TO SIT OUTSIDE MY WINDOW AT NIGHT, KNOCK SO THAT I KNOW YOU'RE THERE." The mysterious figure, apparently, Matt, who, by the way, was a childhood friend of Kyona, chuckled.

"Well, you were in the bath when I came, and when you got out, you seemed to be having a nice conversation with… yourself. I thought it would be rude to interrupt. By the way, nice pajamas." Kyona flustered, trying, pathetically, to cover herself.

"You jerk!" Kyona cried, like a true shoujo protagonist, and pushed him out of the tree. Which should have led to a broken bone, but…anime physics. Shut up.

-

The next morning, there was a sudden change in point of view. This was to show that a character was going to become important, also, to tell us more about the soon-to-be-important character.

And so, we see Vivian waking up from her luxurious bed. She did come from the richest family in town, after all—though that wasn't saying much, in Harmonica Town. She changed out of her long white night gown, at which time the camera, were it to exist, would pan away, only to pan back when she was fully dressed in her school uniform.

Vivian sat at her vanity, combing her hair, which was entirely unnecessary, as the lucky betch doesn't get bed head.

-

Breakfast with Vivian's family was quiet, once one learned to tune out Mayor Hamilton's incessant yammering, which meant that everybody but The Mayor had a quiet breakfast.

Vivian, of course, ate only toast, and ate like a bird; a very prim bird at that.

-

Erstwhile, back in Kyona's perspective, the aforementioned girl had no time for breakfast. She ate her toast on the go, as it took her considerably longer to get to school. Zack casually sauntered behind her.

Of a sudden, she tripped and fell down over a small cliff, somehow triggering her magical girl transformation. Gary flew out from somewhere-or-other.

"Whoever designed those pens really didn't put much thought into them…" he commented. Kyona stood up, rubbing her sore backside.

"Owwww…" she moaned. "Why'd it do that?"

"I guess it triggers at the first sign of danger."

"That sucks!" Kyona cursed. With a red flash of light, she transformed back. "Garyyyy, fix it. Fix it. Fix it."

"Okay, shut up!" Gary said, taking the red pen and its writing utensil sisters from her.

"Oh, and by the way, you can't go to school with me." Kyona informed him.

"WHAT? Why not?" Gary whined.

"'Cuz there's an off-chance that someone might see you." Kyona explained.

"Well, what am I supposed to do, besides fixing your stupid pens?"

"I dunno…Mom will be gone all day…watch TV, or something, 'kay, bye!" And Kyona ran off.

Gary sighed, going back inside to continue his sad little life.

-

Back to Vivian, she stepped outside after breakfast, hurrying, so that her timing was just right.

On cue, Zack walked past her.

Vivian blushed, making a shy and anti-social stance. Zack completely ignored her. Vivian then decided that she would have to make the effort.

"Uh…morning, Zack," She tried. Zack didn't seem to hear. "Um…Why don't you ever come to school, anymore?" Zack ignored her again. Finally, he was a few feet away and about to turn somewhere, when he stopped, suddenly.

"Don't waste your time trying to be nice to me." He said, coldly, and he left.

"What was that all about?" A meek voice wondered from behind Vivian. Vivian jumped.

"How long have you been there!?" Vivian demanded.

"Just long enough to hear your heart shatter to pieces." Angie said, quietly. "Was he being a jerk again?" Vivian's eyes cast downward, sullenly.

"I wish he would just return my feelings." She said, sighing. Angie shuffled her feet.

"At least you don't have a stalker." Angie murmured.

-

And yet another perspective change, to Kyona; this one bearing a shiny new time skip.

So, it was after school, and Kyona got home (her OWN home, this time) to find a zombie-fied Gary fixated in front of the TV.

"G-Gary…?" She said, a bit worried. Gary turned his head around, exorcist-style.

"So…much…action. Where's the plot? Why does it take him so long to get his attack powered up? Why are the females such weaklings? It makes no seeeeeense, but…so alluring…" Gary babbled.

"Uh…Gary?" Kyona poked him. Gary shook his head, snapping out of it. Kyona turned the TV off.

"You're home!" Gary said, pointing out the obvious.

"Uh… yeah, so did you fix my pen?" Gary nodded, procuring the thing.

"From now on, it only works if you write 'MAJIKARU APPURU-CHAN SUTAATO!' with it." Gary explained. He was smacked for his troubles. "What was that for!?"

"Why'd you make the pen such a pain in the ass to use!?"

'You told me to fix it!"

"You could've just made it activate through saying a phrase! That's what I expected you to do!"

"It's a pen! It's for writing! You can't just say something with a pen, that's just stupid!"

Kyona and Gary sat on opposite sides of the room for a few minutes, huffing in stubbornness.

Finally, Gary spoke up.

"Wanna go to the forest to investigate your giant monster sighting?"

"No."

"Wanna go find another giant monster for you to fight to boost your ego?" It was essentially the same question.

"… Let's go."

And they did.

-

Elsewhere, at the tailor shop, Vivian excused herself to get some fresh air. In other words, go to the forest in hopes that Zack would be there.

-

Tam-Tam forest was exactly the way that Kyona had left it. Which didn't say much.

It seemed peaceful, but still, something seemed amiss.

This became painfully evident when two gigantic weasels jumped out of nowhere. Their brown vs. white fur had a sort of yin-yang feel to them.

"Heeeey, it's Fall. The brown weasel isn't supposed to appear in Fall." Kyona whined.

"Let's just assume it's magic and RUN FOR OUR LIVES." Gary suggested. So, they did.

"Wait a minute!" Kyona said, stopping. "I don't need to run! I'm Magical Appuru-chan!" She pulled out the red pen. "…Crap. I didn't bring anything to write on!" In a desperate panic, she wrote on her arm where no one would see it through her sleeve.

And thus, there was a shiny transformation sequence, ending with Magical Appuru-chan.

"Your evil deeds shall not go unpunished! I'll show you the consequences of ganging up on little girls!" She said, now slightly more well-rehearsed. The pen once again turned into a scepter.

"SHINING APPLE ANTIDOTE!" She called out, throwing the scepter at the brown weasel. She had spent the whole night in bed figuring out a name for her attack. It didn't help, as the white weasel deflected the scepter and they both came at her again.

Magical Appuru-chan ran, trying her attack again, but to no avail.

-

The weasels chased her through the forest, eventually leading her up a tree, conveniently where Vivian was. Another convenience: she dropped the yellow pen, with the cocoa fruit charm.

"What the—you look really familiar, who the hell are you?" Vivian demanded, looking up at her. She then noticed the pen on the ground and picked it up.

"Hey! That's mine!" Magical Appuru-chan objected, but it had no effect, because the yellow pen started glowing and suddenly Vivian transformed.

Vivian's transformation sequence was far more elegant—not to mention more yellow—than Kyona's. Her outfit was also yellow, and also more elegant.

"Magical Koko-hime!" She called out, when it was over.

"Hey, why does she get to be a -hime when I'm just a –chan!?" Magical Appuru-chan whined.

"I think it's because she's the obligatory rich girl." Gary said.

Suddenly, the yellow pen turned into a considerably un-elegant maraca. At least the shaker was a cocoa fruit.

"Perfect cocoa shimmer." She said. She shook the maraca, which seemed to cause the monsters to become dizzy.

"How come she can come up with an attack name on the spot like that!?" Magical Appuru-chan demanded. Gary snickered.

"Ahem," Magical Koko-hime said, catching Magical Appuru-chan's attention. "I believe you'll have to finish them off." Magical Appuru-chan lapped up the self-importance.

"SHINING APPLE ANTIDOTE!" She threw the scepter at the brown weasel, and then repeated the process with the white weasel. The weasels shrunk down to normal size, and the brown weasel ran off to wherever-the-hell-he-goes-for-fall-and-winter, and the white weasel wandered around happily.

-

This isn't a perspective change, or a location change. It's just a time skip, because _someone_ doesn't feel like detailing Kyona's explanation.

"A magical girl… huh. Never heard of them." Vivian finally said.

"That's one thing that I have that you don't." Kyona muttered.

"Well, then, I guess we're a team from now on. After all, you wouldn't stand a chance without me." Vivian started to walk away. Kyona raged from behind her.

"Hate… her… so… much…" Kyona seethed. "I DON'T NEED YOU! YOU'RE ONLY TAGGING ALONG BECAUSE I LET YOU!" When Vivian ignored her, Kyona ran past, determined to leave her in her dust. From behind Kyona, Vivian caught a glimpse of a pink harvest sprite, struggling to follow her.

"Is that…?" She wondered aloud. "No, it couldn't be. That's a childish idea."

And, as shoujo episodes often do, they faded into the sunset as the chapter ended.


	3. Genki Deyuu! Waku Waku Waku!

Happy Halloween! :D Now, here's a chapter that has nothing to do with Halloween.

* * *

In some house on Castanet, someone was waking up very energetically.

ENERGY AWAKE.

She ran downstairs/down the hall/what-have-you to where ever the kitchen was.

ENERGY RUN. (Hey, at least that one kinda makes sense.)

And she began to haphazardly throw some pots and pans and ingredients together to make breakfast.

ENERGY COOKING.

And then she ate her food.

…What?

And so, she ran to the school in town, tripping several dozen times due to the sun not being up.

It was only four in the morning, after all.

-

Lucy's parents awoke to find a note on the table. It read:

"mom & dadd

I made dis fewd 4 u. Pleez eet itt. I hope it isnt cold bi da tym u waek upp.

Luv Lucy."

Because Lucy was the second worst speller in class, second only to Matt (except Matt was only bad at spelling because he was such a goddamn lazy-ass and shortened every word.)

Incidentally, the food was cold as ice. Not sure how that happened, since it should have only been room temperature. Apparently Lucy's food was MAGICAL. Like she would soon be.

Now, please remove that last sentence from your memory.

-

Since school didn't really start at such an ungodly hour, Lucy sat patiently in her seat for the next four hours.

When that didn't work out, she ran circles around the building, and so, was quite pumped up when school actually started. And tired.

The other students found her lying face-forward, butt in the air, next to the door of the building.

Normally, this would provide a panty shot, but Lucy wears tight black shorts under her uniform. This was a massive violation of the dress code, but Gill never seemed to notice it. Or care.

As a side note, she also wore sneakers.

-

"Alright, now, who would like to read this passage?" Gill said, holding a book.

Lucy's hand, of course, shot in the air.

"THE AMAZING LUCY WILL EASILY READ THIS PASSAGE!" She shouted, because she had no indoor voice.

"Knock yourself out," Gill said, figuratively, and with a tone suggesting that he was getting kind of sick of teaching by now.

And she did.

-

But since a certain someone is too lazy to write a passage, and she's kind of stuck with ideas for this story right now, we're just going to have some Harvest God fanservice, because he doesn't get mentioned enough in this story.

And so, we see him on his throne; slouching…somehow. But then he got up when he saw Fin coming.

"Fin! Hey, Fin!" He called out, with baby-ish black eyes and a cat smile.

Fin looked at him questioningly.

"How's my daughter doing?"

"That's not my responsibility, remembered? You sent the pink harvest sprite to watch her." Fin answered, with closed, horizontal eyes, for some reason.

"Nyoro~n." The Harvest God replied.

-

When we go back to Lucy's point-of-view, it's lunch time.

And Lucy finished her curry in two minutes.

"Dammit! I was slow, today!" Lucy cursed.

"L-Lucy…please don't swear…" Angie requested, meekly.

Dakota was not paying attention.

She was staring at the odd pair in the corner.

"What's wrong, Dakota…?" Angie inquired.

"It's them. Didn't you notice? Kyona and Vivian are suddenly, like, best friends, or something, for some reason." She said, still staring at them.

"Well, they were in the forest together yesterday…" Angie offered.

"What could happen in a forest that could make to people who hate each other suddenly start acting like long-time friends?" Dakota wondered.

Secretly, Angie thought that Vivian might just be using Kyona to get closer to Zack, but she scolded herself for thinking such things about her cousin.

-

"And about those weird creatures…" Vivian began.

"You mean the yakuma?" Kyona offered.

"The… what?"

"The yakuma! That's what those transformed animals are called!"

"How'd you find that out?" Vivian asked, anger rising.

"I didn't. I just made the name up."

"Well, it's stupid. We should call them the Servants of Darkness." Vivian said, showing her bossy, overbearing side.

"No! I found them first and I get to name them! Why are you hanging out with me, anyway!? There's no reason for us to be near each other unless there's a yakuma attacking!"

"I… have my reasons," Vivian said, turning away and blushing.

-

And we go back to Lucy, after school.

As she began to walk—yes, walk. Not run—out of the building, she stepped on something that the audience may be familiar with.

It was the blue pen, with the eggplant charm.

"Hey! I saw Kyona with something just like this! I bet it's hers! I'd better go to her house and return it!"

-

When she got to Kyona's house, after banging on the door, Akari answered it.

"Hello, Miss Awesome Heroine!" This was what Lucy always called Akari. She didn't seem to pay attention whenever Akari asked her to stop. Or correct her when she called her 'miss.' "Is Kyona here? I need to return something to her."

"Sorry, Lucy, but Kyona already went to Tam-Tam Forest." Lucy nodded and ran off. Akari sighed in exasperation.

-

Lucy, with all of her speed and fondness for running fast, rushed right past Kyona and Vivian without even noticing them.

"Was that Lucy?" Kyona asked.

"Probably," Vivian responded.

Kyona shook her head, snapping herself out of a sort of trance, and continued on her way.

"Whatever! We have a yakuma to find!" She said.

"IT'S 'SERVANT OF DARKNESS,' DAMMIT."

-

Lucy, in her needless rush, ran all the way to the end of Tam-Tam forest, where an apparently dead gigantic tanuki was laying.

She walked over to it, standing over it mournfully, removing her bandana in respect.

And then it suddenly jumped up and sprang at her.

Lucy screamed, scrambling to run away, but the giant beast leaped over her and landed in front of her.

Suddenly, the blue pen started glowing.

And, of course, she ended up transforming into a magical girl.

"Hey…what the…WHAT KIND OF MAGIC IS THIS!?" She demanded, of no one in particular.

Despite the fact that she had not followed the rules and given herself a name, the pen glowed again, splitting in two, and resting as gigantic bracelets on each of her wrists.

"Alright! I have no idea what's going on, but feel like I could crush mountains!" She didn't crush mountains, but she did beat the crap out of the yakuma/servant of darkness/whatever name Lucy planned to give it. The thing was weakened to the point of transforming all by itself into its original form. Yes, they can do that.

So, Lucy de-transformed and left.

"Hmm…Kyona doesn't seem to be using this thing. I bet she wouldn't mind if I borrowed it for awhile." She decided, and then ran home.

-

When Kyona and Vivian got there, there was only a weakened tanuki to be seen.

"Gary! You told me there would be a yakuma here!" Kyona yelled, damn near strangling the poor harvest sprite. That's it! We're playing darts tonight!" Lol, shout-out*.

Vivian tried to ignore the fact that she could see Kyona yelling at a harvest sprite, preferring to believe that Kyona was having a very convincing fight with an imaginary friend.

-

Lucy had good dreams that night.

* * *

*When I posted this story on another site, my friend (who could be considered this story's #1 fan), wrote a one-shot based on this story to try to inspire me to update. In it, Kyona had Gary stuck to the wall and was throwing darts at him, hence Kyona's comment. XD;


	4. Kuukingu Battaru!

Last update before AP is released! :D Woo!

* * *

Kyona fell, unceremoniously, off of her bed the next morning. She stood up, looked at her night stand, and pointed an accusing finger at the contraption on top of it.

"What is with this…thing!?" She demanded. Gary woke up and flew to her side, rolling his eyes.

"It's your _alarm._ I set it last night so that you wouldn't be late for school," he explained. Kyona smacked him.

"Don't you know anything!? I'm a farmer by blood! Farmers have internal clocks that don't let them sleep in past six a.m.!"

"Then why did you need an alarm to wake you up at six thirty?" Gary asked. Kyona had no answer, other than smacking him. Again.

-

Kyona's mother was awake and at work when Kyona came downstairs for breakfast. Zack was at the table, eating toast and eggs.

"Here," Zack said, passing her a plate of toast and eggs.

"You… made breakfast for me?" Kyona asked, disbelievingly. Zack nodded. "What's the catch?"

"Nothing. I just don't want you setting the house on fire." Zack said.

"I would've just made cereal," Kyona said, defensively.

"My point still stands."

Kyona mumbled some unkind things, sitting down at the table, and eating her breakfast.

-

"You can't cook?" Gary asked, once the two headed out the door.

"No. And need I remind you that you can't come to school with me?" Kyona responded.

"My foreshadowing senses are tingling," Gary said, stopping.

"Shut up, Gary," Kyona commanded, not stopping.

-

The school was hustling and bustling with chatter when Kyona got there. Gill hadn't bothered to settle the class down for the lesson, yet.

Angie and Vivian were in the corner, holding a conversation, while Vivian tried to keep her magical identity a secret. She didn't quite understand what was so important about keeping it a secret, but Kyona insisted it was, so Vivian kept quiet, otherwise, she'd never hear the end of it.

On the other side of the room was Van, staring admiringly at the two girls. Actually, it would be more accurate to say that he was staring admiringly at Angie, and Vivian just happened to also be in his line of vision.

By the window, Heath, Matt and Roy were probably holding the loudest conversation in the room, though no one else could tell what they were actually talking about.

Matt saw Kyona, and motioned to her, but Kyona was being a typical shoujo heroine, so she ignored him.

In another part of the room, Lucy was fired up—more than usual, that is. She was excitedly relating her adventure yesterday to Dakota. The only thing keeping the girls' secret safe was that Lucy was talking so fast, Dakota didn't understand a word she was saying.

"Alright, settle down. It's time for class. Everyone, in your seats. Today, we'll be starting with math." Gill announced.

What none of them noticed was the monster Border collie, swiftly dashing along the table where all of the lunches were put, and eating every one of them on his way. The dog dashed out of the room, at the back of the school, where it was hit in the head by a surprise shining apple antidote attack, thrown by Kyona, who had left the classroom with the excuse of needing to use the bathroom.

It was rather surprising that Gill let her go, though. Partly because class had just started, but mostly because the school didn't even have a bathroom. Of equal surprise was the fact that Lucy did not see her chance to play the hero again, and in fact, did not even see the great beast.

-

Lunchtime finally came, and the class finally noticed the lunch theft.

"NOOOO! WHAT WILL I DO WITHOUT MY CLAMS AND GRAPE JUICE!?" Lucy cried.

"My…my shining egg is gone!" Heath exclaimed.

"The extra lunch I made for Heath isn't even here!" Dakota whined.

"Wait… Heath, you like shining eggs?" Lucy asked.

"They're one of my favorite foods!" Heath responded. They shared a meaningful look. Dakota, jealous, stood between them.

"Who could have taken our food!?" She demanded, changing the subject.

"I think an animal snuck in and ate it," Kyona said.

"All of this food? Without us noticing? Impossible." Vivian countered. Kyona nudged her, hinting. Vivian made a face of sudden understanding, "though, stranger things have happened."

"Where will we get our energy from!?" Lucy wondered aloud.

"I'm going exploring after school! I can't go on an empty stomach!" Heath complained.

"I think there's only one solution to this!" Matt said. He pointed at Dakota. "You cook for us."

"What, just because I'm a girl!?" Dakota demanded.

"… No. Because you're the only one in this room with any cooking talent." Gill opened his mouth to object to this comment, but stopped, remembering the loss of his ratatouille, and returned to silent mourning.

"Well, I won't do it. I hate cooking." Dakota said, stubbornly. Kyona put a hand on Dakota's shoulder.

"C'mon! If you cook, we'll help!" Kyona offered. Van snickered.

"They say that too many cooks spoil the soup. In this case, it helps that most of the cooks suck at it." He said, arrogantly.

"What's that supposed to mean!?" Kyona demanded.

"It means that, other than Dakota and probably… Angie," Van blushed. "You girls suck at cooking."

"Hmph. Well, we can cook better than you guys, that's for sure," Kyona countered.

"Those sound like fightin' words," Matt interjected.

"Maybe they are," Kyona said, growing competitive.

"So, how about a cooking contest, then?" Matt suggested.

"Oh, you're on." Kyona responded.

-

"Alright," Vivian said, taking charge and tying her hair back. "Dakota, you're the real cook, so you give us instructions."

"Okay~ Lucy, you chop the vegetables. Vivian, start boiling some water, and add salt. Kyona, umm… you make juice. Angie… Angie, what are you looking at?" Angie's eyes were fixated on the boys' table.

"It hardly seems fair," she said. "There are only four of them, but there are five of us." Just then, the door opened to reveal Zack.

"Zack! What are you doing here!?" Kyona demanded.

"I came here on a request." Zack said, holding up a cell phone to show her a text, signed by Matt.

"…Since when do we have cell phones on this island?" Lucy asked, in a moment of startling logic.

"That's not important! What's important is making lunch! Specifically, a lunch that's better than the boys' lunch!" Vivian said.

"But we're in trouble, now! Zack is a good cook! I should know; I just ate his cooking this morning!" Kyona said, panicking.

"He… he is?" Vivian said, star struck for a moment.

-

"You know, even with Zack here, those girls are going to annihilate us," Heath said, matter-of-fact.

"How do you figure?" Roy asked.

"Well, for one thing, they're girls; they're born with ninja cooking powers. Also, they have Dakota, who's well-known as a prodigious cook," Heath explained.

"Have any of you even tasted Dakota's cooking before?" Zack wondered aloud. The other boys had nothing to say to this.

"We've heard rumors," Matt piped up.

-

Lucy was performing her task with gusto. She cut a carrot—no one had an explanation as to where they got the ingredients—but she cut so hard that the piece flew up like a bullet, hitting Dakota in the head and knocking her out.

The other girls gathered around her.

"Does this mean we'll have to go for the rest of the competition without her!?" Kyona said.

Vivian, to the rescue, dumped a bucket of cold water on Dakota, waking her up.

"Oh my God!" Dakota gasped. "Does my hair look okay!?" The other girls sighed.

"Your hair always looks okay," there was a voice behind the cluster of girls. The girls turned around. It turned out to be Heath.

"You… you really think so!?" Dakota's eyes practically sparkled in her glee.

"Yeah! Of course! And you're such a good cook. I bet we don't stand a chance," Heath said.

"Oh, I don't think so. I mean, we're just using tomatoes, lettuce, carrots…" Dakota happily listed all of the ingredients, and then when that was done, she listed the steps for cooking. Heath, meanwhile, wrote them down in a notebook. The other girls were stunned.

"Don't give our recipe to the enemy!" They said. But Heath left, having the whole thing written down.

"Hmph. Well, if they're playing dirty, then we'll fight fire with fire," Vivian said, smirking at her cousin. Said cousin whimpered.

-

"I feel kind of bad for tricking Dakota. Why did I have to do it, anyway?" Heath inquired, at the boys' table.

"… You… really don't know?" Matt said, disbelievingly, while chopping potatoes.

"Don't worry about it. It's her own fault for falling for such a ridiculous trick," Van said, coldly, as he stirred the bulk of their ingredients together.

"Um…excuse me, Van…?" Angie said, meekly. Van jumped, and his face turned red from blushing. "We're…running out of ingredients, so…can we borrow some from you…?"

Angie walked away with the whole bowl of ingredients. Van had a blissful smile on his face.

"Van, you idiot!" Matt said, angrily. "You gave her most of our ingredients!" He looked at the girls' table across the room. "Of course you know, this means war."

And cue a cheating montage. To make a long story short, this happened:

Matt used a fishing rod to steal Kyona's fish out of her pan while she was grilling it.

Lucy dumped a basket of oranges, causing Roy to fall and spill some crucial batter.

Zack threw half of an apple into a pot in the girls' table, ruining the soup in it. Vivian was sad.

And various other deceptive acts.

In the end, both teams had an inedible mess to present to Gill, who was the taste-tester. It was a tie, in the worst possile way.

-

Kyona walked home, crest-fallen.

"I can't believe I lost to Matt…" she whined.

-

"I guess it's true that cheaters never prosper," she said, falling asleep in her bed.


	5. Search for the Buru Pen!

Finally got AP yesterday! 8D Woo!

* * *

Kyona awoke, as in the start of every chapter, but then she realized that there was no school today, so she rolled over and fell asleep again.

"KYONA, I JUST REALIZED SOMETHING TERRIBLE!" Gary shouted, ruining her extra weekend sleep.

"Mmm?" Kyona grumbled, still in her bed and half-asleep.

"The blue pen is missing!" Gary replied.

"Mm…I'll take care of it." Kyona said, going back to sleep. Gary sighed and gave up, not feeling like being abused, today.

-

"Kyona?" Akari whispered, tip-toeing into her daughter's room. "Oh, you're still half-asleep. Well, just so you know, I'm going up to spend some time with your father. It's our anniversary, after all. I'll be back by dinnertime." Unbeknownst to Akari, Kyona was entirely asleep. Gary, however, was not, and he got the message.

-

About an hour later, Kyona woke up on her own, rested and ready to find the blue pen so that no more girls could steal her thunder.

"Wait, Kyona! Before you leave, I have something to tell you." Gary said. "While you were sleeping, your mom came in and tried to tell you that she was going to the mountain to spend time with the Harvest God."

"Huh? Why would she do that?" Kyona asked. Gary said.

"Because it's their anniversary."

-

Meanwhile, in the Garmoni Mine District, Lucy was running very fast (as usual), when suddenly, she bumped into an unidentified person.

Well, that person turned out to be Roy.

Lucy, who had been mining all morning, the result of which was now all over the ground, was very pissed.

"How DARE you bump into me, Roy!?" She demanded.

"Huh…? What are you talking about? YOU bumped into ME." Roy pointed. Lucy 'hmphed.'

"You just watch where you're going next time and I might forgive you!" She shouted.

"Didn't you hear what I just said?" Roy asked.

"That's it! From now on, we're rivals!" Roy made a face as if to say 'are you kidding me?' which was exactly what he was thinking. Lucy gathered up her stones and ran off.

"What is she, on her period?" Roy mumbled to himself and continued on his way.

-

And, on top of Mount Ignis, Akari and Ignis were snuggling. Just so you know.

-

Back with Kyona, she had gone into the school. Which was unlocked on a Saturday. Yeah, she totally didn't break into the building.

"I don't see it here!" She cried, scanning the floor.

"It's not in any desk." Gary said, checking the last desk.

"What about the teacher's desk?" Kyona asked, desperately.

"I checked there." Gary said.

"Check harder!" Kyona commanded.

"But I –"

"Shut up, Gary!" Kyona said.

"YOU shut up!" Gary yelled.

Kyona simply stared.

"Well, it's not here, so I think we should look somewhere else." Gary said. Kyona nodded, silently, and followed him out the door.

-

The duo (of sorts) arrived in Tam-Tam forest, the only other conceivable place for the pen to have been dropped.

Unfortunately, the forest was very big, so they spent hours looking for the pen on the ground.

-

During those two hours, Akari and Ignis were having a picnic, if you know what I mean. If you do, then you'd know that it was nothing perverted.

Akari pulled an apple at out of the basket. Ignis stared at it, almost hypnotized.

Akari put the apple on the picnic blanket and sliced it into pieces, feeding them to him, one by one. When they were gone, Ignis stared down at the core, pouting. Then he leaned over on top of Akari. Akari giggled.

-

Hours later, Kyona knocked on the witch's door.

"What is it? Can't you tell that I'm very busy?" The witch said, angrily, as she opened the door.

"I'm sorry, Miss, but…" Kyona said, timidly, "have you found any blue pens around here?"

"What? No. I haven't seen anything like that around here," the witch said, though her eyes flashed with suspicious warning. "If you've lost something, I suggest that you go talk to the wizard about it."

"Um…okay! Thank you, Ma'am!" Kyona said, politely. The witch closed the door.

-

When Kyona arrived at the wizard's house, he was boiling something very black and suspicious.

He poured some in a cup and sipped it. Turns out it was just coffee.

"Excuse me, Wizard?" Kyona was not shy around the wizard. He had been a family friend since before even Zack was born.

"Hmm?" The Wizard grumbled. Kyona's good mood dropped a bit.

"I've lost something very important, and I was wondering if you could help me find it." Kyona explained.

"Can you describe it to me?" The Wizard asked, unenthusiastically.

"Well…it's a blue pen…with an eggplant charm on the end…" Kyona tried. The Wizard looked into his crystal ball, an object that had always fascinated Kyona. According to her mother, she had found it for him long ago, and they had been good friends ever since.

The Wizard looked troubled for a moment, before coming to an apparent conclusion.

"Sorry. It's very blurry. I can't see it." He said.

"Okay…thanks, anyway." Kyona said, turning to leave.

"Kyona?" The Wizard said from behind her. "Why is that pen so important to you? You already have a lot of things to write with. Like that red pen that you have."

Kyona paused.

"It was…a gift from my father," it wasn't entirely a lie. She just wasn't sure if it was true.

"Was it, really?" The Wizard said, more talking to himself than her. Kyona left.

-

Once outside, Kyona fumbled around in her pockets.

"…I didn't bring the red pen." She realized.

"So?" Gary said, flying up next to her head.

"So, how did he know about it?" Kyona inquired. Gary shrugged.

"Well, he _is_ a fortune teller." Gary responded.

"I suppose." Kyona said.

Just then, a giant orange cat sprang to attack. Kyona, who, as said, didn't have her pen with her, could only jump out of the way. Or at least, she thought she did.

What really happened was that a mysterious warrior of ENE—err, JUSTICE had grabbed her and pulled her out of the way.

"So it was YOU who stole my blue pen! …Who are you, anyway?" Kyona said, though to the audience, it was obvious that it was Lucy.

"Magical Eggu-kun doesn't steal! I found it on the floor at school and decided to borrow it for awhile!" The mysterious warrior—or, shall I say, Magical Eggu-kun said.

"But that's—wait, you already came up with a name for yourself!? Wait… you figured out how to activate your transformation!?" Kyona demanded. Magical Eggu-kun nodded.

"I came up with my name the other day and I got a little excited about it, so I kept writing it down in my notebook!" She explained. Kyona stared, searching for words, but the giant cat distracted her, instead.

"Do you plan to do something about that!?" Kyona said. Magical Eggu-kun turned around and punched the cat, weakening it to the point of making it turn into its original kitty form.

"Way to go! You defeated the yakuma!" Kyona said, excitedly, because the monster didn't get the chance to hurt her.

Magical Eggu-kun looked at her, confused.

"Yakuma? I've been calling them Lost Souls. Mine sounds cooler. Can we use it instead?" She said.

"NO." Kyona said, domineeringly.

A clock chimed in the distance.

"Kyona! You'd better get home, or your parents will be worried!" Gary warned. Kyona nodded.

"Right! Well, bye, Magical Eggu-kun! I'll explain everything to you tomorrow!" Kyona promised, running home.

-

When Kyona got home, her parents were there, and dinner was ready. Zack was sitting at the table, hungry and ready to eat.

Ignis looked at Akari and smiled.

"Happy anniversary," he said. Akari smiled back at him.

"Happy anniversary," she said back.

The kids looked away, awkwardly, as the happy coupled kissed.


	6. Panpukin Debut!

O mai! Plot ensues!

**Note:** Even though the English version has come out, I will continue to use the Japanese names. The only characters who are using their English names are the characters who appeared in ToT. This is for the sake of consistency. Also, damn it, Natsume. Ignis is a god, not a king.

* * *

Kyona, exhausted, let her head hit the pillow, when she abruptly realized something.

"I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO MAGICAL EGGU-KUN IS!" She screamed in panic. The Harvest God knocked angrily on her door.

"Kyona! Be quiet! This is the one night of the year that I can spend some _quality time _with your mother and I won't have you ruin it with your unnecessary noise!" The God, despite being well-educated in the 'bird and the bees,' had, sadly for Kyona, never been told that such things were a private matter.

Kyona, partly because of Magical Eggu-kun's identity, but mostly because of a desperate need for brain bleach, did not sleep well that night.

-

Kyona, because of the alluring classroom, slept wonderfully Monday morning during class.

Gill didn't notice. Or care.

"Now, students, please get out a pen or pencil and some paper to take notes. We have a very important test coming up, and if you don't pass, you'll fail for the year and be held back a grade," the aforementioned teacher said. He chose to ignore the fact that being held back didn't mean much, since they would all be in the same room learning the same things, anyway.

"Hey, Dakota, can I borrow a pencil?" Heath asked.

"Anything you want, Heath," Dakota said, dreamily. And then she promptly realized that she had no pencil of her own. She poked Kyona in the back of the head.

"Kyona, can I borrow a pencil?" She asked. Kyona grabbed a random writing utensil out of her bag and handed it to her.

"Use this," she said, with her head still on the desk, and still half-asleep, or perhaps fully asleep.

"A pumpkin charm? That's so tacky, but oh well," Dakota mumbled, observing the pen.

"Whatever, Dakota. Just return it later, okay?" Kyona whispered back at her.

"…And move the decimal place, like this, see? It's like a fishing hook," Gill said. And just as Matt was about to raise his hand to object that that looked nothing like a fishing hook, a gigantic shiba inu attacked outside.

-

Outside, there was chaos. Simon was running back and forth, torn between his desire to run away from the monster and his desire to photograph it. Toby… was taking a nap. Pascal was running around in circles, ignoring the fact that he had a ship to escape in, and apparently very close to having a heart-attack. And then there was Hamilton, at the middle of it all, trying to calm everyone down, despite the fact that no one was listening.

"They're not used to seeing a giant monster attack, are they?" Kyona, worried, whispered to Vivian.

"Of course not. They don't watch all of those shows that you're so fond of," Vivian responded, like Kyona was an idiot. Which she was, but that was beside the point.

"Well, I'm not afraid of some big, stinky dog! I'll just beat the crap out of it and that lost soul will be back to normal!" Lucy shouted, though no one could hear her over the sound of their own panic.

"Lucy, I don't think you can—wait, lost soul? You're Magical Eggu-kun!?" Kyona said, gasping.

"Magical Eggu-kun? What are you talking about? Care to enlighten me?" Vivian said, annoyed.

"No time! We need to find a place to transform!" Kyona said, looking around. "Over there! Follow me!" She said, and they did.

-

Meanwhile, Dakota, like many normal teenage girls in her situation, did not know what to do. She stood, frozen, hoping for her prince charming (preferably Heath) to swoop in and rescue her.

But destiny had other plans.

Dakota looked down, and noticed that she was holding that tacky orange pen, but it wasn't like it was before. It was glowing, and this was what finally set her off. She panicked and ran to the nearest hiding place, where no one would see her.

"Phew…" she said, in the safety of the empty school room, with no one bothering to look into the windows. "Pens aren't supposed to glow, so this must be a magic pen! I hope that light doesn't attract the monster!"

Unfortunately, somehow, it did.

The giant shiba inu burst through the wall, giving Gill a heart attack and making him yell something about the cost of having to replace it.

And suddenly, the pen glowed brighter, until the light engulfed Dakota, and suddenly, she was a magical girl, although to the audience, there was a fancy transformation sequence beforehand.

"Wha…what the hell is going on!?" Dakota demanded, looking down at herself.

-

Outside, the magical trio had finished transforming, and had come out to combat the yakuma/servant of darkness/lost soul… only to find that it was gone.

"Where the heck did it go!?" Magical Appuru-chan demanded. Magical Koko-hime shrugged.

"Not many places for a gigantic dog to hide." She said.

Just then, Dakota came bursting out, screaming, with the giant shiba inu in hot pursuit.

"It's the monster! You! Stop!" Kyona called out to it. It looked at her in acknowledgement, but kept chasing Dakota.

"Hm. What a nuisance." Vivian said. Her yellow pen transformed into her maraca, and she shook it. "Perfect cocoa shimmer." The monster stopped, confused.

"Now it's my turn! Shining apple antidote!" Kyona said, as her pen turned into a scepter, which she quickly threw at the monster.

The monster quickly snapped out of its confusion, dodged the scepter, and resumed its chase. Dakota screamed, flailing her arms, and continued running.

"Who the heck is that chick and why does she look so familiar!?" Kyona demanded, dumbly.

"I swear, I've seen her before, but I don't know where…" Vivian said, contemplating.

"Well, whoever she is, she's one of us, and she needs our help to show her the ropes!" Lucy said. "Hey! Magical Panpukin-senpai!" She called out.

Dakota turned her head and looked.

"Senpai!? But I'm just a beginner! You seem to be the more experienced one, so you should be my senpai!" She said, still running away from the beast. Lucy shrugged.

"It just seems… right." She said.

Unbeknownst to Lucy, the reason calling his orange magical girl "senpai" felt right was because this girl was older than the other girls. But only slightly. Dakota was actually the oldest of the girls on the island. It hardly made sense, because "senpai" isn't supposed to denote age, but you don't really need to think about it.

In any case, Dakota, now called Magical Panpukin-sempai, was still being terrorized by the giant shiba inu.

"Magical Panpukin-sempai! You just gotta believe!" Lucy said, being unusually cheesy.

Dakota stopped.

"Believe…?" She said. The orange pen, still in her hand, turned into a cutesy version of a jack-o-lantern. "I just gotta believe!" She said, possibly out-cheesy-ing Lucy. "Good pumpkin… infestation!" She cried, shaking the jack-o-lantern, which shall henceforth be called Jacchan, because it's so gosh darn cute.

An array of pumpkin seeds flew from Jacchan's mouth. They landed in the ground below the shiba inu's feet, sprouting vines, which seemed almost alive as they sprang up and grabbed the monster's ankles.

"Now I've got you! I'll show you the consequence of hurting innocent people! Shining apple antidote!" Kyona called out, throwing her weapon again. This time, it hit the monster, who could not escape. It shrank back to its innocent, harmless form. The townspeople, now suddenly serene, gathered around the four girls and one animal.

They stared, registering what they were seeing. And then they spontaneously started cheering, all at once.

"This is the recognition that I've always wanted!" Kyona said, eyes shining with happiness. "Never worry, people! Magical Appuru-chan will always be here to protect you!"

"And Magical Koko-hime!" Vivian added.

"And Magical Eggu-kun!" Lucy shouted.

"And… err… Magical Panpukin-sempai, too, I guess!" Dakota said, unsure.

"Hurray! Hurray! Hurray! Hurray for Magical Appuru-chan! Hurray for Magical Koko-hime! Hurray for Magical Eggu-kun! Hurray for Magical Panpukin-sempai!" The townspeople chanted, caught up in their own excitement about not dying.

Kyona began crying from happiness, but just as she wiped a tear away, Vivian pulled her away.

The Wizard, who apparently didn't join in the chanting, slipped away, unnoticed.

-

When the girls were in their civilian clothes, and Kyona was done explaining things to Lucy and Dakota, they returned to their class and a very pissed off Gill, who, for once, did care.

"Where have you girls been!?" He demanded, arms crossed.

"We, uh… we panicked and ran away," Kyona lied. Gill sighed.

"Well, it's your loss. You missed your chance to see those brave heroines," Gill said. Vivian nearly did a face fault at her father's obliviousness. "But, Vivian… I at least expected better from you."

"Well… my life was in danger…" Vivian said, half-heartedly.

"In any case, you can all go home, now. Class is over early for today. I think we all need time to recover after that. I know I do." Gill said. The students went their separate ways.

-

When Dakota returned to her home, Akari was there, conversing with Maya.

"But that monster… I've never seen anything like it!" Maya said, holding her cheek for dramatic effect.

"So I've heard. Glad I wasn't there," Akari said, half-jokingly.

"But, Akari! You missed your chance to see Magical Appuru-chan and the others!" Maya said.

"Magical Appuru-chan? Yeah, I think we've met before," Akari said, with a laugh. Maya stared at her, suspicious.

"By which you mean that you're Magical Appuru-chan, right!?" She said. "I can't think of any other woman on that island heroic enough to pull that off!" Akari chuckled.

"Oh, no. Magical Appuru-chan looks about thirteen, right? I don't think it's possible for me to shrink to that size." Akari responded. Maya sighed.

"I guess not. It's sad, actually." Maya said. Akari perked up.

"What is?"

"Well, all of the women on this island are happily married, and you… all you have are your kids! I mean, I'm sure they're wonderful children, but wouldn't you be happier if you had a husband to help you raise them? Don't their fathers ever send money for them or anything?" Maya said. Akari managed another chuckle.

"Maya, I swear to you, my children are perfectly legitimate," she said. She stood up. "Speaking of my children, I must go check on them. They were in town during the attack," well, one of them was. Akari left.

Maya sat thinking at the table.

"How is it possible to have legitimate children if you're not married?" She mumbled. Dakota sighed. After what she saw, she was almost willing to believe that Akari really was married to the Harvest God.

-

Kyona was dancing around the house when Akari arrived.

"What's got you so worked up?" Akari inquired. Kyona stopped in her tracks.

"Well, I… that Magical Appuru-chan! She's so awesome! She's just like those shows I watch!" Kyona responded, sweatdropping. Akari giggled.

"Perhaps eventually she'll let you join her team?" Akari said.

"Maybe!" Kyona said, running up to her room to end the conversation.

-

Somewhere, on Castanet Continent, in a dark room, a man sat, contemplating. His features were obscured by shadows.

A woman, also obscured by shadows, entered the room.

"Well, that was a failure. What were we trying to accomplish by attacking the town, anyway?" The woman's voice was deep, though it was not her normal speaking voice. She was speaking more deeply on purpose for the sake of mystery. The man smirked.

"We didn't fail. We only wanted to bring the town's attention to the danger… and Magical Appuru-chan," the man, who had an even deeper voice, explained.

"Can't you at least clue me in for once?" The woman asked.

"You can figure everything out over time," the man said. "All you need to know is our goal."

"If you say so," the woman said, sighing, and leaving.

The man made a low chuckle, as a form of mysterious evil laugh.


	7. Fashionable Debyuu!

Wheeee~

Damn you, website! Julius's rage-filled rant isn't half as funny without his lucky charms speak! You ruined it! Dx

If anyone wants to see the chapter the way it's SUPPOSED to be shown, go to Ushi no Tane. _That_ website doesn't discriminate against symbols.

* * *

The night was quiet and peaceful after the people of Castanet settled down from the day's chaos. There was silence, except for the crickets chirping their nightly song. It was abundantly clear that all was well.

And then there was a girlish shriek in Angie's house.

Julius stomped out of his home, fuming. He was so angry that he only occasionally looked down to check to see if his shoes were muddy. Inside the house, his beloved wife and daughter stood at the door, fretting for the poor fool that he was going to visit.

-

The purple-haired man banged on a certain doctor's door. Said doctor answered the door, confused.

"Listen, you! This is the last straw! I'm tired of your son lusting after my daughter! Yes, I know she's cute as a button, but there's no excuse for climbing up to her window and watching her change! " Julius yelled, for the entire island to hear. Jin blinked.

"I'm sorry about my son causing you trouble in the past, but it wasn't him this time. He's in his room right now. You can go see, if you want to." Jin explained.

-

Meanwhile, Van was in his room, immersed in a book. _The Holy Book of the Harvest God_; one of two copies in existence, the other belonged to Akari. It was cheap at Barbara's store, despite its immense rarity. She couldn't sell it before Van came along. Nobody wanted to read about the Harvest God.

_And the Harvest God loomed over the great demon king, and raised his hand to kill him, but the demon king's power was too great, and so, he could not be vanquished. And the Harvest God, instead, trapped him in the body of a moth, and made his power useless. But the demon was still immortal, and so escaped to live among the bugs, indistinguishable from the rest of them._

Van sighed. This book told him nothing about this "Magical Appuru-chan" and her group of magical girls. He thought back to earlier that day, after school, when he was talking to Matt.

"_Don't be silly," _Matt had said to him, _"if Kyona was Magical Appuru-chan, she would have told everyone. Trust me, I know her. She loves attention too much to keep that a secret." _

But surely there must be a reason why she might keep it a secret. Maybe she's trying to protect her loved ones from her enemies? Maybe there's some kind of spell keeping her from telling anyone? Maybe she's afraid everyone will reject her, thinking she's weird?

… The second theory seemed the most plausible.

Van leaned back in his chair, closing his eyes in deep thought.

Just then, there was a knock on his door.

"Van…?" His father called. "What are you doing in there?"

"I'm doing my homework!" Van responded.

-

"You see?" Jin said, turning to face Julius, who was still angry. "My son would never do such a horrible thing as watch a girl change." Julius huffed.

"Well, then, sorry to bother you. Good night. " He said, and left.

-

Angie was sitting on the couch, looking down intently at her legs. She was torn between feeling violated and feeling sorry for Van. Julius would surely do something very bad to him. He did scream pretty loudly, after all.

Suddenly, Julius burst in, stomped to the closet, and began rustling in there while mumbling unkind things.

"Um… Dear?" Candace spoke up, meekly. "What are you looking for?"

"I need a shotgun." Julius responded, still rustling.

"What would you need a shotgun for?" She asked.

"Because there's hardly room for two stalkers after my daughter, let alone one." He answered.

"Oh…" Candace said, regretting asking in the first place. "We don't have a shotgun."

"Then I need money to buy a shotgun." Julius said.

"Papa, you can't commit murder!" Angie finally piped up, clinging to her father's arm. Julius looked into her puppy dog eyes and sighed.

"FINE. I'll take care of it some other way. For now, let's go to sleep." He said, and they did.

-

Outside the house, Matt blinked as much as one could when their eyes were perpetually closed.

"Oops," he said. "Wrong house. That's the fourth time this week. And it's only Monday." And thus, he walked away, oblivious to the panic he had caused.

-

Kyona was sitting at her desk, unable to sleep from excitement. Her cheeks were in her hands, and she was night-but-not-asleep dreaming of the days to come now that the townspeople knew about her other identity.

"Kyona," Gary, who didn't care what happened that day and was very drowsy, called out. "It's getting late. Don't you think you should go to sleep soon?" Kyona glared at him, and Gary was smart enough to drop the subject.

"You can go to sleep, Gary. I'll just sit here for awhile." Kyona responded, with unusual kindness.

"Can't," Gary said, yawning. "I'm here to watch over you. I'm not allowed to fall asleep until you do." Kyona 'hmphed' and went back to her dreaming.

She imagined herself walking into the schoolroom, where her crush (even though she didn't have a crush. Her brain used an image of Matt as a placeholder, for some reason), would be talking to his friends about how great Magical Appuru-chan was, and how he planned to marry her, someday. And Kyona would make a clumsy attempt to talk to him about it, and she would almost reveal her magical identity to him, and she would make a flimsy, yet cute cover-up and everything would be okay. And her crush would be a jerk and say how of course she's not Magical Appuru-chan, because Magical Appuru-chan wasn't such an idiot.

And she would be crushed.

And it would be wonderful.

"You are so weird," someone said, from her window.

"MATT!" Kyona shouted, throwing a pillow at him. Matt averted it, and the poor, undeserving pillow fell to the ground, lost and forgotten.

"Hehehe…" Matt chuckled. "I know all your moves."

"Grr… how did you know what I was thinking, anyway!? Can you read my mind!?" Kyona demanded.

"Kyona, I've known you for over ten years. I can read your face," Matt said, completely serious. "You must have been thinking about something happy. What was it?"

"That's none of your business!" She shouted, pushing him out of her tree.

"Woah!" He said, falling to the ground below. "You can expect my hospital bill in the mail in a week! Unless you're willing to nurse me back to health!"

"Augh!" Kyona grunted, slamming her window shut. The room shook, and the purple pen, which had been sitting on her desk so that she could look at it, fell to the ground. Kyona calmed down a little and picked it up, putting it in her school bag for safe keeping.

"Out of curiosity, what are you planning to do with that?" Gary asked. Kyona smirked.

"Why, complete the magical girl team, of course!" Kyona answered.

"Whatever happened to being an attention whore and not wanting any more magical girls to take the spotlight from you?" Gary asked, surprised. Kyona waved her hand, dismissively.

"That's all in the past now! I realized that, to be a true magical girl, you must have a complete team of five; a heroine, a foil to the heroine, a smart girl, a strong girl, and a heart to the team!" Kyona explained. "That's how all the best magical girl shows do it!"

"… And you want more people to be able to boss around?" Gary said, because one doesn't need to know Kyona for over ten years to read her face. Kyona sweat dropped anime-style.

"That, too…" she admitted, scratching her cheek.

-

At the breakfast table the next morning, Zack was eating his toast and eggs, while Akari was doing something or other at the stove. Akari looked around when she realized that Kyona was in the room.

"Good morning, my dear daughter!" She said, grinning, and passing Kyona a plate of toast and eggs. "I need to go into town more often. Gill was nice enough to tell me that Zack wasn't at school yesterday. Or Friday. Or any day before that for the past three years!" And yet she was grinning like a cheshire cat. This was a sure sign that she was angry. Zack twitched.

"It's not like I would have learned anything. I'm smarter than the other kids, anyway, because I'm older," he reasoned. Akari ignored him, hugging him from behind. Zack nearly choked on his toast.

"So, since he's clearly not interested in an education, he's going to spend more time here with me! He can get a head start on being a farmer! It doesn't require much of an education, anyway!" She said, squeezing him. Yessir, she was definitely pissed. Kyona giggled at Zack's misfortune.

"Well, good luck with that. I guess I'd better head to school," Kyona said, with unusual eagerness, having finished her breakfast, and putting it in the sink.

"Oh! Kyona, before you go, I have a present for you," Akari said, leaving Zack's side for a bit and going to a drawer.

"A present?" Kyona said, "But it's not my birthday."

"It doesn't have to be your birthday for you to get a present," Akari said. She pulled out an apple shaped notebook and gave it to Kyona. "I think you need one of these."

"Wow, Mom! This is perfect! Thank you!" Kyona said, putting it in her bag. "Gotta go. Bye!" She headed out the door.

-

Angie sat at her desk, wishing she could blend in with the scenery.

"Hey, Angie!" Matt called out. Angie nearly jumped. "Sorry… I'm doing a survey. Tell me, what is your opinion of Magical Appuru-chan and her group of magical girls?" Kyona, from another part of the room, perked up, listening. Angie thought about it, and then shrugged.

"They are… very helpful to the island…" she said. Matt nodded.

"I thought so. That's what everyone is saying," Matt responded, frowning.

"What do you think of them?" Angie asked. Matt shrugged.

"I know a girl that's even better than Magical Appuru-chan," Matt said, vaguely. Kyona just about jumped across the room.

"How could you!? Magical Appuru-chan is great! There is no one better than her!" She shouted, for the entire classroom to hear. Van perked up.

"And how would you know that? Weren't you gone when those girls saved us from that giant monster?" Van asked, trying to trick Kyona into confessing.

"Of course I know! I'm her…" Van brightened. "… Biggest fan!" Kyona said, saving herself. "I've seen her battle monsters in the forest."

"Oh…" Van said, somewhat disappointed. Matt nudged him.

"You don't still think that Kyona is Magical Appuru-chan, do you?" Matt chuckled. "When will you let that go?" Kyona jumped. She put a note on Angie's desk and walked away, to avoid further questioning.

Angie noticed the note and read it.

"Meet me in Tam-Tam Forest after school.

-Kyona.

P.S. Dispose after reading."

Angie threw the message into the garbage can, as per her directions.

Van, who saw the whole thing, picked up the note out of the garbage.

-

Tam-Tam forest was quiet. _Too _quiet. So quiet, that it was kind of creepy.

When Angie arrived, Kyona was wearing a cloak that she had made out of a bed sheet.

"Um… Kyona?" Angie said, unsure. "Why are you wearing that cloak?" Kyona nearly face faulted.

"How could you tell it was me!?" She demanded.

"I can clearly see your face…" Angie said. Kyona sighed.

"Fine," Kyona said, holding up the purple pen. "I'll give you a choice. If you want to become a magical girl and save people from evil monsters, choose the purple pen. If you want to forget this happened and go back to your normal life, choose the purple pen, but uh… specify." She said.

"Shouldn't it be a choice between red and blue?" Angie asked, tilting her head.

"Well, yeah, but those two already have owners. And purple is a mix of red and blue, so I figured it was okay, anyway." Kyona said.

"And here I thought you had this all planned out…" Angie mumbled. Kyona sighed.

"Just choose!" She snapped.

"Um…" Angie grabbed the purple pen. "I guess I'll choose to be a magical girl." Kyona smiled.

"Good. Follow me." Kyona walked deeper into the forest, into the swamp, where a monster bear was caught by Magical Panpukin-sempai's vines. Magical Eggu-kun was struggling to make sure that the bear didn't break free.

The presence of the bear triggered Angie's initial transformation.

-

Van, who arrived just in time to see the new magical girl summon her weapon, a baton, could tell immediately that she was Angie. He didn't even need logic. His LOOOOVE told him.

-

Angie pointed her baton at the monster. It was purple, with a heart at the end, and a rather ugly yam for a handle.

"Um… I don't know what to do," she said. Suddenly, heart-shaped rays starting emanating from the end. The monster suddenly felt pure happiness, and transformed back into a bear by choice.

"Nice!" Kyona said. "You're one of the people that can make a yakuma change back to normal. Only you, Lucy and I can do that. Now, what to call you…"

"Magical Yamu-pyon!" Van shouted, without thinking. Kyona looked in his direction, and he ducked into the bushes.

"That's perfect! What do you think of Magical Yamu-pyon?" Angie thought about it.

"I… I like it." She concluded, smiling.

And their team was complete.


	8. Whatever

Craaaaaaap, I almost forgot to post this, today. Don't kill me, please! ;3;

And here's where TEH DRAMAZ starts. Lulz will be back soon.

Btw, the reason the chapter is in first person is because it's narrated by Zack.

* * *

I hate the sun.

I hate the heat beating down on me when I have to work in this damn field. Why can't it be winter, when I'm not baking in the heat? Then again, all we grow in winter is buckwheat… lots and lots of buckwheat. And then we spend hours in front of the waterwheel, converting the buckwheat into flour… and then Mom somehow finds a million different recipes for buckwheat, and by spring, I never want to look at another buckwheat again… but I always do, the following winter.

That damn sun… burning my skin to a crisp and drenching me in sweat…

And Mom just sits there… drinking some juice and watching me…. probably still pissed.

I took my shirt off to compensate for the heat… all it did was expose more of me to be burned…

I swear, this field is growing wider just to spite me.

Or maybe Dad is doing it… he's probably watching, after Mom told him what happened… then again…

-

Mom had made me lunch and then dragged me up Dad's mountain, muttering all the way.

"Oh, Ignissssss!" She had called out. She sounded exactly like a snake, but more venomous.

"Hmmm?" Dad had turned around and brightened up upon seeing his beloved wife and son. "Akari! Zack! What brings you here?"

"Ignis, darling, we have something to tell you," Mom said, in her sickeningly sweet tone. She turned to look at me. "Would you like to tell him, Dear?" I rolled my eyes. "Alright, then. Ignis, I went into town yesterday for the first time in awhile, and do you know what the school teacher said to me? He said that Zack hadn't been in school for three years!" Dad raised an eye brow and cocked his head.

"… So?" He asked, oblivious. "Is that supposed to be a bad thing?" Mom glared at him, as if to say 'HELL YES.' "… I mean… Zack! How dare you upset your mother! Don't you see the stress lines you've given her!? You will repent for this at once!" He was obviously faking it.

"Don't worry, Ignis. It's been taken care of. Zack is just going to work with me on the farm." More like work FOR her. As her slave. There was a pause. "… That's right, Fin." She finally said. I have no idea what she was agreeing to.

And thus, my fate was sealed.

-

I put down the hoe, finally finished with the plowing. I breathed deeply and whipped the sweat off my forehead. It's mid-Fall. Why is it so damn hot!?

Yet I felt a chill once I stopped being so active.

"Zack!" Mom called out. "Now that the field is plowed, come get the seeds to be planted!" There was a giggle that most definitely didn't come from Mom. I looked over in her direction. Sure enough, there was my little sister and every teenage girl the town had to offer.

Kyona was smiling a cat grin, poking the girl next to her, teasingly. The girl next to her… Vivian, was it? She was completely red, and holding a lacey pink handkerchief to her nose. Behind her was the purple-haired girl, I think I knew her name once, but I forgot what it was… she was also blushing madly, and hiding behind her cousin (?) for protection. Next to them, the blue-haired daughter of the carpenter was standing with her hands in her pockets, cocking an eyebrow. Next to her, the orange-haired, pig-tailed girl, who had giggled earlier, was blushing, though not as much as the other two girls, and had her hand over her mouth, still giggling.

"Zack~ put a shirt on~ there are _ladies_ present~" Kyona said, playing coy. So annoying…

"Ladies? Okay, then. I'll put my shirt on when these _ladies _actually show up," it was rude, I know, but it's my duty as an older brother to piss her off. Besides, I didn't want any of them growing too attached to me.

I could see the blond one die a little inside. The purple-haired one seemed hurt. The blue-haired girl didn't seem to care and the orange-haired girl appeared to be indignant.

"Zack, you jerk! You take that back!" As expected, my darling little sister blew up at me. She really needs to learn not to let me get to her.

"Hey, you kids," Mom, the mediator, called out. "No fighting! Kyona, you know how to behave when you have guests! Zack, get back to work and don't bother Kyona!"

Kyona, being childish, glared at me and led her friends into the house.

I sighed.

"Zack, the seeds!" Mom called out to remind me. I hadn't forgotten about the seeds.

-

Work done. Body aches. Must keep walking. Destination: bedroom. Who invented doors? I shall smack them. TV's on. The channel Kyona likes. Must remember to yell at her later.

… Who the hell invented stairs!? They must be working with the guy who invented doors. Bastards.

Must. Reach. Room.

-

I fell onto my bed and my head hit the pillow. In spite of my muscle pain, I reached into my bedside drawer and pulled out my MP3.

That was the great thing about being the son of a god. He can spoil you with things that most people you know haven't even heard of.

I could still hear the TV downstairs. Why hasn't Mom done something about that yet? Can't she hear it? And why did Kyona just leave it on like that? Usually, she turns it on and then she's glued to the screen until someone turns it off.

Actually, it wasn't even a show that Kyona normally likes. No sparkles, no pink, no sappy love lessons. The people were sword fighting, not prancing around in miniskirts, shooting beams of light at some monster.

But, hell, what would I know about the shows Kyona likes? I don't even like TV. I don't see the entertainment in watching the adventures of some character that's not even real. I prefer listening to music, where I can just escape into my own little world.

My headphones went in and the isolation began. It was a slow song. I'd had enough of fast-paced for the day.

I fell asleep with my headphones in. Maybe if the headphones strangled me, Mom would feel bad for making me work.

…

Nah. She'll just feel crushing guilt for not being able to save me.

-

When I woke up, the song was over, and it was getting late at night, and the TV was finally off.

I decided to take a hot bath.

-

The bathroom was next to Kyona's room, and the walls were thin. I could hear every word Kyona was saying. Usually, this was an embarrassing conversation with that Matt kid.

"YOU MORON!" I could hear her say, pounding her foot on the floor. "YOU WERE ALMOST CAUGHT! Zack might have seen you watching TV! Weren't you the one saying that we needed to keep you a secret!? Idiot!" There was another pounding sound, followed by a pause. "Then don't watch TV when my family is home, Stupid!" Another pause. "I think it was obvious my family was home. You could have just looked out the—EEK! Matt, you perv!" And normalcy was re-established.

I sank into the bath, deep in thought.

Is Kyona hiding a harvest sprite in her room?

I couldn't answer this question if I wanted to. Too ashamed to ask, not good enough to find out myself.

What is wrong with me?

I used to be friends with the sprites.

But then they all went away.

Actually, they're still here, but I can't see them.

I can't see them smile and dance, anymore. I can't hear them talk in their squeaky voices. If I were to speak to them, I wouldn't hear their response.

For a while, I thought they weren't real. I thought I had made them up; figments of my imagination.

But I was lying to myself. They are real. My mom can see them. My sister can see them. My dad can have them created for him.

So what's my problem?

I'm the son of the harvest god. Shouldn't I be able to see the sprites by default?

I'm the son of the heroine of castanet. Doesn't that count for anything?

And then I came to a realization.

It doesn't matter. None of it matters. None of it counts for anything.

If I can't see the sprites, I must be a horrible person. My heart is not pure.

And only pure hearts can see sprites.


	9. Hebi! Battaru on Mount Ignis!

Lulz are back in stock for a limited time only!

* * *

When Kyona was finished with her ritualistic pushing Matt out the window, she decided that she needed to cool off and relax.

"I'm gonna go get some ice cream," she announced, and then pointed an accusing finger at the harvest sprite. "Don't go anywhere." She commanded. Gary sighed, as if he were being unfairly incriminated. After all, he'd already explained to her that he had wanted to watch a special for his favorite show, and he was so desperate to watch it that he'd convinced himself that her family wasn't home.

-

Kyona tip-toed down the hall, as it was late at night, and she was supposed to be in her room at this hour.

She stopped short at the top stair, when she heard the hushed voice of her dad.

"He can take care of himself, dear. We both know that," he whispered. Kyona gagged, as she heard a kissing sound.

"I know," She heard her mother reply. "But, Ignis, he's only fifteen. He's too young. It's just too soon." There was another kissing sound.

"Akari, his sixteenth birthday is coming up. Plenty of people have set out on their own at that age, and Zack is more ready than any of them. You've seen what he can push himself to do. _He's ready_." Her father persisted.

"Alright, then," Kyona could tell that her mom was starting to cry. "I… I believe in him," there was one last kissing sound.

"Good night, then. I must return to my throne," the Harvest God said.

"Can't you stay the night?" Akari asked, searching for comfort.

"If I do, the kids will wonder why I'm here." Kyona tip-toed back to her room, and carefully closed the door.

"Kyonaaaaaaa," Gary whined. "I'm sorryyyyyyyyy." Kyona plopped on to her bed.

"Go to sleep," she commanded, laying her head on the pillow. She closed her eyes.

What's going to happen to Zack?

-

Kyona awoke and looked out her window to see the chubby old mayor on the road below.

He stopped at their mail box and dropped a letter in and continued on his merry way.

Akari stepped out to investigate. She pulled a letter out of the box, and opened it to read, right there in the yard. She sighed and went back into the house.

Kyona raced downstairs.

-

"Mom?" She said, standing at the table. Her mother was sitting on the other side, frowning, re-reading the letter in her hand.

"Oh. Good morning, Kyona." She said, finally looking up, but not looking any happier.

"Is everything ok…?" Kyona asked, worried.

"Everything's fine, of course!" Akari responded, forcing a smile.

"Um… okay, then," Kyona said, not convinced. "Who's that letter from?"

"Your aunt." Akari said, devoid of emotion. "Apparently, she's coming to visit soon."

"Oh, great." Kyona said, rolling her eyes. "When?"

"Just… soon," Akari said, looking at the letter again.

"Well, good bye, then. I need to go to school. See you later."

-

About an hour later, Zack came downstairs to see an empty house.

He picked up the letter off the table and read:

"Dear Akari,

I just don't know what to do! Takeru moved back into the house with his wife. I just can't stand that woman! I don't know how long I'll be able to bear living with her! I'll be coming to visit you soon. I don't know when. I'll definitely give you a few weeks to get ready, though.

See you soon!

-Hikari"

Zack twitched. A few weeks? When did the letter come? When was it sent?

Zack went back upstairs and locked himself in his room. He wasn't taking any chances.

-

Trudging through the cold fall wind, Kyona walked at a pace slower than she really should have for someone who was almost late already. At the moment, she didn't care, for her mind was still stubbornly stuck on the subject of her older brother.

And, when the door swung open half-way through Gill's first lesson, Gill was rather angry to see Kyona standing there, though Kyona didn't care, even when he issued her a week's detention for tardiness.

Kyona paid no attention all through class. She was looking out the window, distraught, the whole day.

Was Zack really going to leave? Where was he going? And why did he have to go?

Why did she even care so much?

-

At lunch, Kyona was surrounded by the other girls of the town. All attempts at conversing with her were ignored.

Eventually, she walked past them to the other side of the room and grabbed Matt, who was busy being convinced (unsuccessfully) by Van that the girls were magical girls. It was a welcome interruption to Matt, though Van was slightly annoyed.

"I need to talk to you," Kyona said, seriously.

"Out here? In public? Where people can see us? This must be serious." Matt responded, jokingly. Kyona felt a tinge of guilt.

"… Well, anyway… it's about Zack." Kyona said.

"Your brother?" Matt asked.

"Do you know anyone else named Zack?"

"Well, there was that pet sheep you had once…" Matt said. Kyona shook her head.

"To the point, I heard my mom and dad talking last night…"

"About Zack?" Kyona nodded.

"I… I think they're planning on sending Zack out on his own," Kyona said, as uncontrollable tears started to roll down her cheeks. Matt scratched the back of his head.

"And…? Is that all you're worried about? Why does it bother you so much?" He asked, confused.

"Because," Kyona sobbed. "It's like I'm losing him." Matt shook his head.

"So, he's moving away. He's not dying. He'll still be there." Matt assured her. "And even when he's not, I will." Kyona smiled at Matt's effort.

"Thanks, Matt," she said, hugging him, which he gladly returned.

"No PDA." Out of nowhere, the teacher appeared and lightly smacked Matt on the head with a small book. "Matt, I guess you'll be joining Kyona in detention." Matt groaned.

"Does he seem grumpier than usual to you?" He asked, directed at Kyona. Kyona shrugged.

-

And, atop Mount Ignis, the Harvest God was conflicted with mixed feelings. On the one hand, the kid got what was coming to him for hugging Kyona, and all those years of spying on her outside her window. On the other hand, he would now have plenty of alone time to bond with Kyona.

He wondered if spoiling that teacher's tomatoes was really a good idea, after all.

There was a distinctly snake-like noise behind him. He turned around to see a giant snake eyeing him.

Ignis glared at it, deciding that it was not worth his time, especially when his daughter was thinking about boys. The snake suddenly burst into flames from his godly powers, and then disappeared.

-

After school was over, Kyona waved goodbye to her friends—who she was considerably nicer to after talking to Matt—and returned to the classroom for her detention.

Her punishment was cleaning the room. She was given a mop to clean the floor with and Matt was given a rag to wipe the desks with. There was still much to clean up after the attack on the town not long ago.

Gill sat at the desk, "supervising"—that is, reading at his desk and paying little to no attention to them.

Kyona had a troubled look while she mopped. Matt nudged her.

"Still sad about Zack?" He whispered to her. Kyona shook her head.

"It's just… I'm so mean to you all the time. Why are you always so nice to me?" Kyona whispered back. Matt chuckled.

"It's simple. It's because I—" but Matt's sentence came to an abrupt end when a spot on the floor spontaneously combusted; the result of a misfire. Apparently, gods DO make mistakes.

"What the devil?" Gill demanded. His eyes widened as the flames died down, revealing the giant snake that Ignis had rid himself of. "Matt! Kyona! Get away from that thing! Run!"

-

And that is the story of how Kyona ended up chasing a giant snake up the Garmani Mine.

... Wait, that doesn't explain anything.

Oh well.

Kyona's group--who had decided to call themselves the harvest senshi--trailed behind her. Except, of course, for Lucy, who was running ahead, calling out desperately to the giant snake.

"Cid! I know you're in there somewhere! You just gotta fight it!" She called out. The snake, in response, spat venom, which she jumped over, and it landed on the ground, melting a hole. "No! Not like that!"

The snake hissed.

"Damn it, Lucy, just punch the stupid thing!" Vivian commanded, angrily.

"I can't! Cid is my friend! I won't hurt him! Kyona has to help him!" Lucy shouted, tears now welling up in her eyes. She stopped, allowing the others to catch up to her. The snake slithered up a set of stairs on his way to his intended target.

All of a sudden, Lucy grabbed Kyona and continued her pursuit of the serpent.

"Hey, Cid!" Lucy called out to the beast. Cid turned around. "Average! Kyona! Toss!" She shouted, throwing the poor girl at the snake.

"I AM NOT A VIABLE ATTACK!" Kyona screamed, flying through the air at the snake, which seemed to be paralyzed in confusion. "... And 'average' isn't a crop ranking!" She added as an afterthought. She, predictably, collided with the snake, and before she knew it, was face-to-face with the monster.

The creature hissed at her and, deeming her harmless, continued going upstairs.

Lucy watched the snake go. Kyona smacked her with her scepter and continued to follow the snake.

Before they knew it, the harvest senshi was in the open air and the giant snake was trying to slither up another set of stairs. Heedless of their surroundings, the girls followed.

The snake stopped, out of breath, at the top of the stairs, and Kyona took the opportunity to attack.

"Shining apple antidote!" She called out, throwing her scepter. It hit the serpent squarely in the forehead, and the snake turned back to normal and slithered back downstairs, going back to his home.

Kyona slowly became aware of the figure looming over her. The other girls only looked on nervously.

"Eheheh... Hi, Dad," she said, turning around to face her father.


	10. About Boizu?

The Harvest God glared down at the harvest senshi. Four of the girls whimpered, but Kyona knew better.

"Kyona," he said, Kyona gulped, anticipating. "Have you been thinking about _boys?_" To this, Kyona performed a face fault.

"Is that all you're angry at!?" Kyona demanded, feeling irritated and, at the same time, disappointed.

"You're only thirteen! You're far too young to be thinking about such things! What if you get pregnant? Your immortal life would go to waste!" Ignis shouted. The four girls in the background stopped feeling scared and started feeling pity.

"I'm not thinking about boys and I'm not getting pregnant!" Kyona huffed.

"Oh yeah!? What about that Matt fellow!? That little scene in the classroom seemed dangerously close to a confession!"

"Matt's just a friend! That was just—" but Kyona stopped herself. What _was _Matt going to say back then, before the yakuma interrupted them? Then a thought occurred to her, "… You were spying on me!" She said, pointing an accusing finger. Ignis looked away, avoiding his daughter's eyes.

"I was just looking out for your safety," he reasoned.

"Safety, yeah, right! You just want me to be a crazy old cat lady for the rest of my li—existence!" Kyona cried. The other girls, suspecting a moment coming on, inched away slowly.

"That's not true! When you come of age, you can date as many boys as you want. Though I'd prefer it if you remained monogamous."

"I don't even LIKE cats!" Kyona wailed, not listening to him. She started crying and ran away.

"Teenagers…" Ignis sighed, exasperated. He looked at the other four girls, who seemed offended. "… You're still here?" They ran away.

-

The bell to Barbara's store rang, signifying a customer.

"Welcome!" She said, running out from the back room. "Oh! It's you! I hardly see any of you around here, anymore. What have you been doing all this time?" The supposed customer pulled out something red and glowing.

-

Kyona ran to Tam-Tam forest to cry dramatically, despite her room being perfectly available.

"Stupid Dad…" she sobbed. Gary flew to Kyona's side.

"Kyona?" He said. "Are you okay?"

"Just leave me alone, Gary! You're so useless!" Kyona cried, smacking him away.

Gary flew away, dejected.

There was a rustle in the bushes. Kyona ignored it, thinking it was just an animal.

Someone walked out of the bushes and put a hand on Kyona's back.

"Don't cry, Kyona," the voice of Barbara—the shopkeeper, and Heath's grandmother—implored. Kyona looked up at her. She was smiling, sweetly, yet there was something… off… about her. "There, there. I'll make it all better," she said, pulling out a cooking knife.

Kyona gasped and just barely managed to roll away as the blade came down.

"Barbara… why?" Kyona asked. She didn't know Barbara very well, but the woman was definitely no murderer.

"Shut up, you little brat! I can't even stand the sight of you! Such a pure heart, infecting all those monsters with goodness… sickening! I can't wait to see your lifeless corpse!" Barbara sneered. And Kyona realized it.

"You're… you're a yakuma!" She said, standing up. Barbara cackled and then spat on the ground.

"You stupid little girl," she said, raising the blade for another attack.

Kyona frantically ruffled through her pockets. _My pen! It's not here!_ She thought, _I must have dropped it somewhere! Crap! _Kyona braced herself.

As Barbara moved forward, a cherry blossom flew through the wind, bombarding her in the face.

"The hell!?" She roared, pulling it off of her face and crushing it in her hand. "It's not even spring!"

"When evil threatens the life of an innocent girl, I, Sakura Guardian, am forced to come forward. Now, give up, fowl beast, and you may die with honor!" From the treetop, a mysterious young man of about sixteen spoke. He was dressed in pink and he had long, swishy, lime green hair.

"My hero!" Kyona declared, with sparkles of fangirlism in her eyes. Sakura Guardian jumped from his tree, landing in between Kyona and Barbara.

"You'll regret getting in my way!" Barbara shouted, and then ran at him, armed with her knife.

Sakura Guardian grabbed Kyona, bridal-style, and jumped back, landing on a branch. He put Kyona down.

"Just stay here, fair damsel," he said, winking.

"Anything for you," Kyona drawled in response. Sakura Guardian jumped from the tree. He pulled out a cherry blossom attached to a small twig.

"Blade of the Pink Spring!" He called out, and the flower turned into a mighty sword. He ran at Barbara with his sword pointed at her.

"No! Don't—" Kyona cried, but it was no use. The monster was impaled on the blade.

Kyona looked away from what she thought was a gruesome scene. Instead, she heard Barbara's voice ring out.

"Who…? Wha…? Where am I?" The old woman said, sleepily. Kyona looked at her and was immensely relieved to see that she was unscathed.

Sakura Guardian grabbed Kyona and whisked her away.

-

Matt had looked everywhere for Kyona after the giant snake fiasco was over. She wasn't at her house, the beach, back at the school… he even went out to the island to look, but she wasn't there, either.

He arrived at the forest entrance just in time to see Kyona, in some weird guy's arms, and she was gazing lovingly up at him, though the pink jerk seemed oblivious.

He stopped at the sight. His heart sank. He frowned and ran away; with Kyona and her "knight" none the wiser.

-

Kyona watched her knight-in-silly-pink-clothes disappear and walked herself home, giggling in ecstasy. She finally knew what it was like to _like_ someone.

-

The mysterious villainess entered the mysterious room once more. Her boss was, once again, at his chair.

"Another failure," she said.

"No, it was only a test," the man said vaguely. He smirked at the scene that the crystal ball was showing him.

-

Arriving at her house, Kyona noticed that her father was leaning against the door.

Remembering her anger, she walked the other way, to her window.

"Kyona, wait," Ignis said, behind her. Kyona stopped.

"I don't want to talk to you," she said.

"I understand. Just let me explain," Ignis pleaded. Kyona turned around.

"Explain what? Why you don't trust me? Why you still treat me like a kid? Why you try to control me?" Kyona responded, irritated. Ignis sighed and pulled out the red pen, holding it out to her. Kyona grabbed it, rudely.

"I'm sorry. It's just… I'm immortal. I've lived for thousands of years. A human year seems so short to me. I can't help it, but I still think of you as a baby," he said. "Zack can take care of himself, but… you're my only daughter. You're precious to me. I can't stand the thought of you getting hurt. Emotionally, I mean. As far as I'm concerned, I've only just become a father. I'm still learning. Will you be patient with me?" Kyona's eyes welled up with tears. She ran and hugged her father.

"I love you, Dad." She cried. Ignis hugged her back.

"I love you, too, Kyona." He said, smiling.

-

Kyona entered her room to see Gary sleeping on her pillow. She knocked him off.

"Aren't you supposed to be protecting me? Well, whatever. It seems the Sakura Guardian will be the one protecting me," she said, dreamily.

"S'at so?" Gary said, sleepily. "That's nice." And he promptly fell asleep on her floor.


	11. Bondingu!

So! Christmas is over! I don't know about you guys, but my Christmas was awesome. |D I got Sunshine Islands, but I haven't played it yet~

And, by the way, go look at my profile. No, I am not shamelessly self-promoting. GO LOOK AT IT. :V (HINT: It has pictures of Kyona and Vivian in it.)

* * *

Kyona was at her desk, thinking of Sakura Guardian, when there was a knock at her window.

"Matt? You don't usually knock…" she commented, opening the window.

"Well, I didn't want to interrupt anything," he said, with unfamiliar coldness in his voice.

"Like what?"

"Uh, nothing. Forget about it," Matt responded, sounding slightly frustrated. His sudden bitterness made Kyona yearn for the friendship they had when they were younger.

"Hey, Matt? Tomorrow's Friday… I was just thinking. Wanna go fishing on Saturday? Y'know, like we used to do when we were kids?" Kyona suggested. Matt finally looked at her. Well, as much as he could with his eyes closed.

"Okay, but remember my conditions?" Kyona rolled her eyes.

"Be there before sunrise, always do what you say and DO NOT make too much noise," she said, exasperated. "Yeah, yeah. I know the drill." She laughed. Matt smiled.

"Okay, then. Let's go to our old secret spot, like old times," Matt said.

And, as far as Kyona was concerned, the status quo was returned to normal.

Except that Matt jumped down from the branch, because Kyona, for once, didn't see any reason to push him off.

From outside her room, Kyona could hear banging and yelling across the hall.

"Zack! You've been in there all day and you're making your mother worry!" her father, who hadn't left after reconciling with Kyona, shouted, across the hall, as he pounded on Zack's door.

"I don't care! If Mom wants me to come out, then she should just tell Aunt Hikari not to come!" she heard Zack whine in response.

Kyona sighed, and started her homework.

-

"Zack, I don't like that woman, either, but we're both going to have to put up with her," Ignis said.

"YOU don't _have_ to put up with her! You can just stay up on your mountain! She doesn't even know you exist!" Zack argued.

"But I still watch over you and your mom and your sister, and I can still see her!" Ignis shot back. "And she's not even here, yet! So, come out of your room this instant!" Ignis commanded, still banging.

"You're hardly ever here! You can't order me around!" The banging abruptly stopped.

"Zack… I hardly spend time with you, huh?" Ignis said, solemnly.

"… It doesn't matter! I-I don't care, anyway!" Zack responded, gulping.

"No! It matters a lot! I'm always watching over you, so I don't realize it, but I don't spend enough time with you at all!" Ignis insisted. He blasted the door open, and it nearly fell off its hinges.

"… Why didn't you do that in the first place?" Zack asked, lying on his bed. Ignis grabbed him and dragged him out of the room. 'Ouch! That hurts! Where the hell are you taking me!?"

"Come on! We are bonding whether you like it or not!" Ignis declared, dragging him downstairs. He plopped him on the sofa and sat next to him. "So, what do we do first?" He asked, in a tone suggesting domestic abuse had not just taken place.

"Are you kidding me!?" Zack shouted, rubbing his shoulders. He really didn't know why he was rubbing his shoulders; the pain he had supposedly felt was just an excuse to go back to his room. "YOU'RE the one who made me come down here for your stupid bonding time!"

"I know, but… I don't know what fathers and sons are supposed to do together," Ignis said, twiddling his fingers. Zack sighed, resigning himself to the fact that he wouldn't get to go back to his room until his father was satisfied.

"Well, some dads take their sons fishing…" Zack said, thinking of Toby and Matt. Ignis shook his head.

"Last time I fished, I drained the lake. Your mother was pissed," he said, dismissively.

"… Some dads take their sons to the mines." Zack said, now thinking of Calvin and Heath. Ignis thought for a minute.

"Hmm… nope. Can't picture myself digging around in dirt. You, either, for that matter," he finally said.

"Other dads share a hobby with their son," Zack said, with Owen and Roy in mind.

"I don't have any hobbies," Ignis said.

"And some dads train their sons to take over for them in their careers," Zack said, referring to Won and Van.

"Well, it's not like you're ever going to replace me as Harvest God," Ignis said, shrugging.

"Then I have no more suggestions," Zack said, hopeful.

"There's got to be something we can do together," Ignis said. He scanned the room and his eyes fell on the TV. "We could watch TV! That's a wholesome father-son activity, right?"

"I hate TV," Zack said, resolutely. "Besides, there's nothing on." Ignis stood and crossed the room, leaning over the shelf on which the TV stood.

"What about this thing?" He suggested, poking the DVD player. "These play recordings of shows, don't they?"

"The DVD player…? Well, yeah, but Mom doesn't have time to watch TV and as I've said, I hate TV. So, all we have are Kyona's stupid magical girl shows," Zack said, lazily scratching the back of his head.

"Her what?" Ignis questioned, oblivious. "Aren't those the shows with high school girls in miniskirts fighting monsters? … Wait, those are aimed at _girls_?" Ignis said, baffled.

"Shocking, I know," Zack said, rolling his eyes. He stood up, assuming that their 'bonding time' was not going to happen, but then he noticed that his father had a gleam in his eyes that made him nervous.

"These shows… they usually have a supposedly good-looking guy for girls to fawn over, don't they?" Ignis asked, dead serious.

"Um… yes, they do," Zack responded, almost choking, as he was gulping and speaking at the same time. Ignis grabbed his son and pointed at nothing in particular.

"WE MUST INVESTIGATE THIS AT ONCE!" He cried, with justice in his voice.

"Joy." Zack said, sarcastically.

"Now… how the hell do I use this DVD player… thing?" Ignis asked. Zack performed a face palm.

"I don't know," Zack lied. "I guess we can't—" but Ignis was already up off the couch, not listening to him.

"Akari!" He called out. Akari poked her head out of the door to the kitchen and Ignis turned to face her.

And, hearing about the situation, Akari excitedly set up the DVD player for them and scurried back to the kitchen to give the father and son their bonding time.

Zack sank into the couch in utter defeat.

-

The episode started with a narrator explaining the basic plot; apparently, there was a magical kingdom powered by a beautiful pink diamond, and an army of demons attacked the kingdom to steal the diamond's power, but the diamond, ended up on Earth, where it was reincarnated as a girl… somehow.

"This plot makes no damn sense. I'm leaving," Zack announced, standing, but Ignis pulled him back down.

The episode continued with a disturbingly cute opening sequence, with a song about love and dreams, and lots of pink and characters randomly popping on and off screen.

Zack twitched, hoping Ignis would think he was having a seizure. Ignis didn't notice. He was staring meaningfully at the screen.

"So many young men. Kyona probably has a crush on at least one of them. I wonder what she sees in them…?" He mused. "Bah! They're not real, so it can only end in heartbreak!" Zack rolled his eyes.

"I thought you wanted to bond with ME," he said, with mock disappointment.

"Huh…?" Ignis responded, absent-mindedly. "Oh, right. What is your opinion on the subject, Zack? Which one do you think Kyona likes?" Zack did a face palm.

"I think I don't care," he was secretly thinking that it was SO OBVIOUS that Kyona liked the green-haired one. From what was shown in the opening, he seemed to embody everything Kyona liked: flashy, energetic, and egotistical; the perfect match for her.

The episode proceeded to show a pink-haired, pig-tailed girl in a school uniform, scrambling down the street of Tokyo.

From a distance, she could hear the school bell ring.

She arrived at the school just in time to receive a nasally earful from her Christmas cake (look it up) teacher.

"Late for school. Why are they always late for school in the first episode? That always pissed me off in anime." Zack said. Ignis blinked.

"Sheesh, if the punishment for being late for school is standing in the hall holding buckets of water, I'm glad I never went," he said.

She sat in her seat and was chastised by her girly-looking friend, and was asked if she brought their group report. Her response indicated that she had completely forgotten. Her friend was pissed and refused to talk to her for the rest of the day.

"Heh," Zack chuckled. "Just like Kyona."

"That girl… Pinku? Does not have very good friends," Ignis commented.

Pinku continued on to fail a Math test, and went to Gym, where she was lucky enough to beat her more tomboyish friend at tennis. Too bad said friend got frustrated and ignored her for the rest of the day.

"Okay, okay, we get it. She's not having a good day. Jeez," Zack said in exasperation.

"… Seriously, where did she meet these people? A back alley?" Ignis added.

Pinku arrived home late and was harped upon by her father, who thought she might be hiding a boyfriend from him.

"I knew it! Fathers are supposed to be overprotective!" Ignis said, triumphantly.

"Because everything else is SO REALISTIC in this show," Zack said, sarcastically.

"… Go to your room!" Ignis commanded.

"Gladly," Zack responded.

"After this show is over," Ignis added, hastily. Zack sighed. Ignis frowned.

"I'm sorry you hate me," he said, sadly, and Zack felt his heart being tugged at.

"I don't hate you," Zack said. "I just don't deserve to be your son." He mumbled.

"What?"

"Nothing. Just watch the show."

Ignis turned the TV off, not realizing that this didn't stop the recording from running.

"What did you just say?" He asked, staring deeply at his son.

"Uh… I don't hate you?" Zack said, trying to cover his tracks. Ignis narrowed his eyes at him.

"After that."

"I didn't say anything. You're just imagining it." Ignis's gaze deepened.

"You said that you don't deserve to be my son," Ignis remarked.

"No, I didn't," Zack insisted. Ignis pounced and embraced him.

"Zack… you are my son, no matter what you think you did," Ignis said. "And I will always love you."

For a fleeting moment, Zack's inner torment disappeared, replaced with boundless happiness, and he returned his father's embrace.

"I… thank you, Dad." He said.

But he went to bed that night feeling more conflicted than ever.


	12. So Much for Fishingu!

I think this is going to be a good year. :)

* * *

"Like this?"

"No, no. You're doing it wrong. Cast it more like this."

"Hmm… that's not how I remember it. It must have really been a long time since I did this last!"

"Heh. Either way, you'd be lost without me."

"Oh, shut up, Matt!"

Friday came and went without a single monster attack, leaving Kyona restless and hungry for glory. She had stayed up late watching her magical girl DVDs, only to be rudely reminded the next morning that she had scheduled a fishing trip with Matt. She was exhausted, but Matt made sure to keep her awake.

"What? You know you need me. You're too clumsy on your own, Kyo." Matt said, playfully. Kyona punched him in the arm, but then stopped and stared at him.

"… You called me Kyo." She said, baffled.

"Yeah? So?"

"You haven't done that since we were kids."

"… Oh. Well, that's uh…" Matt said, scratching the back of his head. "That was before I noticed you were a girl." He mumbled.

"Huh?"

"Uh, nothing."

There was a tug on Matt's line. He reeled it in and caught… a boot. Kyona laughed, but Matt scowled, visibly frustrated.

"Hey, at least I caught SOMETHING!" Matt defended. Kyona stopped laughing.

"… Shut up!"

-

And Dakota was revealed to be spying on them behind the boulders, Angie nodding off at her side, Lucy camouflaged and spying diligently on her other side, and Vivian, who couldn't care less what Kyona and her friend were doing, was asleep behind a nearby rock.

There was a flashback to the classroom the previous day, where, in secret, Kyona excitedly gushed about Sakura Guardian. Dakota absorbed his description—mostly about him having neon green hair—and became suspicious.

"That must have been Heath!" She concluded, angrily. Kyona shook her head.

"Whoever it is, he's my love interest, and Heath and I have no connection whatsoever, so it can't be him." She explained, but Dakota remained unconvinced, and so, she dragged the other girls out to spy on Matt and Kyona's fishing trip to make sure that the two got together so that Kyona would stay away from Heath.

Unfortunately, the other girls didn't have quite as much enthusiasm as her. Well, there was Lucy, but she didn't quite understand what the big deal was; she was only really concerned for her comrade. Angie only came because she wanted to be included and Vivian didn't actually agree to come; she had been dragged there by an aggressive but well-meaning Lucy.

"Just look at them! They're perfect for each other! Kyona should just stay away from Heath!" Dakota said, causing Vivian to wake up.

"Keep it down," she said, smacking Dakota on the head.

"Yeah, Dakota; they'll hear us," Lucy said, unusually for her.

"… I don't care if they hear us. I'm just trying to sleep," Vivian said, coldly. Dakota puffed her cheeks, frustrated.

"If you don't care then just go home," she said, but Vivian had already fallen back asleep. Dakota sighed and went right back to spying on Matt and Kyona.

Matt had, meanwhile, managed to catch a trout, so, of course, he had to tease Kyona about it, and of course Kyona had to get grumpy about it.

"Tch. You're just trying to make me mad," Kyona said, folding her arms.

"Of course I am. You're just so cute when you're angry," Matt responded, with a chuckle.

"Huh…?"

"Uh, nothing." Matt repeated, frowning. Kyona stared at him.

"There's something I've been meaning to ask you…" Kyona said.

"Hm?"

"Back when we had detention, before… you know happened… what were you about to say?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Matt sputtered, trying to hide his embarrassment.

"Oh yes you do! It's practically written on your face! What were you going to say!?" She prodded him. Matt focused all his attention on the water below.

"I'll tell you…but I have one thing to ask you first." He said, solemnly, still not looking at her.

"I'm listening," Kyona said, tapping her foot impatiently.

"I saw you with some pink guy… you seemed pretty… y'know… interested in him. I was wondering… well…" Matt trailed off. Kyona's eyes lit up.

"That's Sakura Guardian! He's so cool! He's just like this guy from Super Pretty Pink Diamond!" Kyona gushed.

"So you really like him, huh?" Matt inquired, trying to hide the hurt in his voice. Kyona tapped her chin.

"Well, not _yet_… I mean, he's kind of a dork and he has _green hair _for Pete's sake…" she said, giving Matt some hope, "but… y'know how I said a long time ago that I was the heroine in a shoujo anime?" Matt nodded; he had thought nothing of it at the time. They were just little kids. "Weeeell, I'm ninety-nine percent sure that he's supposed to be my love interest. I can't tell you why, just trust me on this." Matt stared at her. Then he burst out laughing. "Don't laugh at me!" She commanded, anger rising again. All of a sudden, Matt glomped her.

"Oh, Kyo, you really need to grow up," he said, on top of her.

"G-get offa me, you creep!" Kyona yelled, turning red.

Matt's trout, meanwhile, flopped around on the rocks, desperately. As a fisherman, Matt should have known to keep hold of it, but it wasn't like he was coming on the trip for fish, anyway.

While Matt was distracted, the fish managed to find its way back to the water. Its eyes glowed red.

A swarm of different fish suddenly appeared.

Matt finally took his attention away from Kyona long enough to notice something was amiss.

"What the heck?" He wondered aloud, standing up.

Kyona sat up and blinked.

"I'm pretty sure fish aren't supposed to act like that…" she remarked.

"No, they're not," Matt said, staring. He seemed to be doing a lot of that, lately.

"Uh… do you think maybe we should leave?" Kyona suggested, growing uncomfortable. Matt shrugged.

"I don't think the fish could do anything unless we're in the water." He reasoned. The universe decided to prove him wrong, as an eel somehow managed to jump out of the water and attack him. Matt just barely managed to jump out of the way.

"Matt!" Kyona cried, springing up.

"What the heck!?" Matt exclaimed. "This defies pretty much everything I know about fish!"

More eels sprang forth and directed their attack at Kyona.

Matt shoved her to the ground, pushing her out of the way. And then… an accident happened.

Kyona's mind was split thusly:

"Wahh! I was saving that for Sakura Guardian! Am I… am I not meant to be a shoujo protagonist?" cried a gray-clad version of her.

"Huaah! This is so exciting! It's just like one of my magical girl anime!" squealed a t-shirt-wearing, starry-eyed version of her.

"That bastard! I bet he did that on purpose! I swear, once I get my hands on that pervert…!" shrieked a red-wearing, glowing-eyed version of her.

And as each side continued to rant with equally loud and passionate velocity, the real Kyona just sat there, dumbfounded, staring, trying to make sense of what happened and her feelings about it.

Matt sat up, equally mute. His thoughts went as thus:

"Windows has encountered a problem and needs to reboot."

Both were snapped back to reality by an out of place shower of cherry blossoms.

"Cherry blossoms…? But it's fall!" Matt said. But Kyona, heart-eyed, knew better.

"It's Sakura Guardian!" She said.

The young man appeared, making an entrance on the tallest rock around.

Matt scowled at him. Kyona beamed at him.

"Ganging up on an innocent girl… you aquatic fiends shall face my wrath!" Sakura Guardian said. "And you!" He pointed at Matt. "Rescuing her as a chance to steal her first kiss… you are equally as despicable as them!"

"It was an accident!" Matt said, reasonably. Sakura Guardian ignored him.

"Blade of the Pink Spring!" He called out. His cherry blossom turned into his sword again.

He looked at his sword, then at the fish, then back at his sword again.

"… I do not know if I will be able to handle this job." All within earshot did a face fault.

The four hiding girls appeared, fully transformed.

"We can help!" They said in unison.

"If only Magical Appuru-chan were here…" Vivian said, hinting.

"This is just another challenge for Magical Eggu-kun~" Lucy said.

Angie couldn't think of anything to say.

Dakota simply gawked at Sakura Guardian.

Matt grabbed Kyona by the hand and started running.

-

As they were safely away from the waterfall, they went their separate ways. Kyona discreetly went back to the waterfall when Matt wasn't looking.

"Shining apple antidote!" she called out, throwing her scepter into the water. A red beam of light shot up, and the fish started behaving normally.

Sakura Guardian disappeared while the girls weren't looking.

Kyona grabbed her backpack and looked inside to see Gary, fast asleep.

"Gary?" He woke up. "Have you been sleeping there all this time?" Gary nodded.

"Mm-hm. Wake me up when Shonen Hour starts, okay?" He promptly fell back asleep.

-

"There's no doubting it! Heath is definitely Sakura Guardian!" Dakota said, assuredly, as the girls walked home.

"What are you talking about?" Vivian piped up. "It's obviously Zack. It would make sense, since he's the son of the Harvest God."

"No way! That would mean that my love interest is my own brother!" Kyona said, stubbornly, in disgust. Vivian rolled her eyes.

"I bet it's Roy playing a trick on us!" Lucy submitted.

Though she didn't say anything, Angie secretly believed that Sakura Guardian was Van. It somehow made sense to her.

-

Meanwhile, Matt walked home by himself.

"She likes him…" he mumbled. "But only because she thinks she's supposed to." He looked upward and smiled "I won't give up. And even if I lose… even if I can't be Kyo's boyfriend… I won't let anything stop me from being her best friend."

* * *

Next time: Birthday Buruzu!


	13. Birthday Buruzu!

I don't like this chapter very much. :\

* * *

Dakota awoke the next morning expecting nothing special. In all the excitement as of late, she had forgotten what day it was.

Her parents, however, had not. When she entered the kitchen, her father, Chase, was busy at the stove, and her mother, Maya, intercepted her, shoving a poorly-wrapped box in her face.

Dakota rubbed her eyes, confused. Then it donned on her.

"Holy crap! It's my birthday!"

-

Nothing, no yelling mother, violent brother, omnipotent father, or unfortunate harvest sprite, could wake Kyona from her sleep. She was bound and determined to make up for the sleep she didn't get the previous night. She was like a rock.

As she dreamed of romance, sparkles, and attacking monsters, in the land of reality, her mother was glaring down at her.

"I think she needs more chores," Zack suggested, next to her.

"But she doesn't have any chores," Akari said, sighing.

"Exactly my point," Zack said, smiling. Akari glared at him.

"You're just trying to get out of doing all the work yourself," she said, accusingly. Zack shook his head.

"No, no, no. It's nothing like that. She just needs more structure in her life. You must try to avoid making the mistake you made with me. I'm just being a caring brother, that's all," Zack said.

Akari said nothing.

"Though it would be nice to have some help on the farm," Zack amended.

"_Zack_!"

-

Dakota's birthday gift was a dress. It had ribbons sewn around the hem; obviously Luna's doing. It had puffy sleeves and a skirt that Dakota estimated would reach her knees.

"Well?" Maya asked, excitedly.

"It's so cute! I love it!"

"See? I told you that's what she wanted!" Maya said, directed at her husband. Chase merely grunted in response.

"So… food?" Dakota suggested.

"Food! Food! Food!" The girls squawked in unison, like two hungry birds. Chase sighed in exasperation, although it was nice to be needed.

-

"The wildlife is weird, lately," Roy said, as he, Heath, and Matt made their way to the mind.

Matt had just finished sharing the tale of what happened the previous day. Roy had accepted it in stride, but Heath's mind was still processing the fast-paced story.

"I can't believe you kissed her!" Heath exclaimed, "Don't you know that girls have cooties?"

"It was an accident!" Matt insisted, "I can't believe you still believe in cooties. Anyway, Roy, what were you saying?"

"Haven't you noticed? First there was that attack giant monster attack—the thing turned out to be a mutated animal. And then there's your fish story. It's really weird, isn't it? What do you think is causing it?"

Matt shrugged and Heath was in his own world.

"Well, we don't have anything to worry about, with the Harvest Senshi around," Matt said, confidently.

"Harvest Senshi, you say?" Van said, leaping from the bushes, in the path of the boys. The trio jumped in surprise. "Don't you mean Kyona, Vivian, Lucy, Angie, and Dakota?"

"… Stalking Angie not enough for you, anymore?" Matt asked, annoyed. Van went into defense mode, folding his arms.

"I do not stalk her!" He said, "And I wasn't stalking you, either. I was… looking for herbs."

"Van, we all know that there aren't any herbs by this path," Roy said. Van scowled.

"Fine, I was following you. But there are more important matters to attend to—" the three boys ignored him, continuing on their way.

"Do you think we'll be able to reach the pond in the mine?" Matt inquired.

"Depends. Heath, did you bring food for us to keep up our stamina?" Roy asked.

"Of course!" Heath responded.

Van was dumbfounded. Then he ran after them.

"Wait, you guys! I want to go on an adventure, too!"

-

Kyona slept, smiling, while her brother smacked her with a pillow.

"Wake—up—you!" He demanded, punctuating each word with a pillow smack.

But Kyona could not be stirred. She rolled over in her sleep and fell onto the floor, still asleep.

Vivian, Lucy and Angie entered the room.

"She's still not waking up?" Vivian asked, shyly, because, after all, she was talking to Zack.

"Nope. You'll have to come back later. She can't sleep all day," Zack said.

"Hey, Kyona! Wake up! Your friends are here!" Lucy shouted, with her hands cupped around her mouth.

"Mom tried that, already. It's not going to work," Zack responded. Angie hunched down next to the sleeping girl.

"Kyona," she murmured, deviously. "I'm going to destroy all of your magical girl DVDs."

Kyona sprang up, awake, and dashed out of the room, shouting "YOU'LL NEVER GET YOUR HANDS ON THEM!" The trio of girls followed her out, leaving Zack to scratch the back of his head, dumbfounded.

"Why didn't I think of that?" He wondered aloud.

-

Kyona, now fully dressed, trudged behind the other girls. She couldn't go back to sleep if she tried.

"Where are we going, anyway?" She whined.

"The tailor shop," Vivian responded, simply.

"For what?"

"To plan Dakota's birthday present."

"Oh… I forgot she had a birthday."

-

"Do we really need a hammer?" Matt asked, leaning lazily against the rock wall as Roy searched through his backpack.

"Of course! We can't get jewels without it! This trip isn't all about fishing, you know. I know it's in here somewhere…" Roy responded. Matt sighed, and looked up the sky.

"You guys!" Heath cried. Matt and Roy looked at him, startled. He was being carried away by Kyona and Lucy. "The girls have finally gone crazy! They've been turned into those monsters! Go find Magical Appuru-chan! Quick!" But Matt and Roy could only stare.

"He has our lunches," Roy said.

"Bring him back here!" The two boys shouted, chasing after the girls.

-

Van dragged his feet up the mountain, in pursuit of the three boys.

Suddenly, Kyona and Lucy, together, holding Heath, zoomed past him. He stopped, looking back at them.

"I know your secret!" His declaration fell on deaf ears, as Kyona and Lucy didn't notice or hear him.

"Just give it up, Van," Roy said, speeding past him.

Finally, there came Matt, whistling a tune and strolling leisurely by.

"Aren't you going to run after those two?" Van asked.

"Nah. I'm pacing myself," Matt responded, coolly.

As Matt got further and further away, Van was left in the dust, with nothing to do, because he could no longer pursue the trio of boys.

"I wonder what Angie's doing…" he mumbled, walking through the bushes.

-

Roy was gaining on the girls with Heath cheering him on.

Kyona, however, had a few tricks up her sleeve.

"Lucy! Roy's going to outrun you!" Lucy instantly sped up.

"THERE'S NO WAY I'LL LET ROY BEAT ME!" Lucy shouted. Kyona tripped and was left behind.

"Lucy! Wait! I can't keep up!" But Lucy didn't hear her. Kyona decided to take a different path, to lead the boys away.

-

The girls (including Kyona, who had managed to get away from the boys) tied Heath to a chair and forced him into a suit. Then they shoved him into a room where Dakota, in her new dress, was waiting.

"Surprise!" The girls said. Then they quickly left the room.

Dakota became flustered.

"Those idiots…" she mumbled.

-

Meanwhile, Chase was making a birthday cake for his daughter, when there was a knock on the door.

"Uh… Wizard? What are you doing here?" He asked, opening the door.

"It's your daughter's birthday, isn't it? I got her a birthday present," the Wizard said, holding out a package.

"Err… thank you. I'll make sure she gets it," Chase responded, forcing a smile and taking the box.

But something was not right about that box. Chase kept catching himself looking at it, until finally he felt an almost supernatural compel to open it.

-

Dakota and Heath spent an inordinate amount of time staring at the floor. Except that Dakota would occasionally look up at Heath, because she could not resist the sight of him in a suit.

"Uh… Dakota? Do you know why they dragged me here? And why they forced me to wear this uncomfortable suit?" Heath finally asked.

"Because… it's my birthday!" Dakota explained sweatdropping.

"So… why am I in a suit?" Dakota nearly burst. She couldn't stand it anymore.

"I love you!" She covered her mouth, abruptly. Heath stared.

"Wow, Dakota… sorry, but I don't want to get cooties. The one I like is Magical Appuru-chan. She seems like she's immune to cooties, don't you agree?" Dakota was about ready to throw herself out the window, but then she remembered that they were on the ground floor. Kyona burst into the room.

"That is not how it's supposed to work!" She exclaimed. "You're supposed to like _her _alter ego, not--" Vivian pulled her away before she could say any more.

Dakota ran from the room.

Heath blinked.

"Did I say something stupid again?" He asked. The remaining three girls sweatdropped.

-

Dakota ran home, with tears in her eyes. Chase welcomed her when she came in.

Dakota sat and cried into the tale.

"What's wrong?" Her father asked, sympathetically.

"Boys-are-so-dumb!" Dakota sobbed.

"Hm… how do you feel?" Chase inquired.

"I feel… like I want to die," Dakota said, overwhelmed with emotions.

"Maybe you should," Chase said. Dakota looked up, horror-struck, just in time to avoid being attacked with a knife.

"Dad… what are you doing?" Dakota said, trembling.

"Shut up!" Chase commanded, coming at her again. Dakota looked into his eyes. Something was just not right about them.

She jumped out of the way of another knife attack. The knife got stuck in the wall and Chase couldn't wrench it free, so he gave up on it and decided to just use his hands.

"Dad… why?" Dakota pleaded.

"Because I hate you!" Chase lashed out. He leaped at her, and Dakota scrambled out of the way.

"But… you're my dad!" Dakota cried, helplessly. Chase scoffed.

"Well, it's not like anyone ever told me how to act like a father," He remarked, bitterly. A dark aura started emanating "MY dad died when I was just a kid. You have things so easy… and yet here you are, whining about some boy! You sicken me!" The dark aura continued to grow. He, in a sudden bout of absurd strength, launched himself at her, tackling her, and wrapping his hands around her neck, strangling her.

"Dakota!" Kyona, or, rather, Magical Appuru-chan, burst into the house. "He's been turned into a yakuma!"

"Kyona?" Dakota cried. "How did you know?"

"I'll explain later!" Kyona's pen turned into a scepter. "Shining apple antidote!" She threw the scepter at Chase, and he dodged, effortlessly. "Hey! You're not supposed to be able to do that!"

Chase attacked Kyona.

"You're a nuisance," he grunted, knocking her down.

Dakota hugged him from behind.

"Dad…" she begged. "Dad, I love you. I'm sorry! I really appreciate everything you do for me!"

Chase froze.

He turned around and embraced her.

"Hush, now… everything's alright," he whispered.

Kyona stood up and blinked.

She silently turned around and went out the door.

-

For a while, on the way home, Kyona had nothing to say. Then she remembered how she ended up there in the first place.

"I can't believe you can sense the yakuma and you didn't even notice it!" She remarked, glaring at Gary.

Gary sweatdropped.

"Eh… heh… heh…" was all he could say.

-

In the mysterious room, the woman entered again.

The man still sat, shrouded in shadows.

"Are you going to tell me what's going on anytime soon?" The woman asked, annoyed.

"In time," The man said. "Right now, my tests have been fairly inconclusive. I've developed a theory, though, based on my latest experiment. I'll need to test it on more variables though. But if I am correct, then I've already won this battle," he chuckled.

* * *

Next Time: Hikari's Debyuu! Long trouble!?


	14. Hikari's Debyuu!

I'm sure many of you may have noticed that this updates every Saturday. Well, it may have to go on hiatus soon. D:

And, no, Hikari's accent isn't supposed to necessarily sound real.

* * *

The limelight lit up to reveal Thomas in the ring.

"And now, ladies and gentlemen…" the camera panned to reveal that the stands were empty. It was only practice. It was all a formality; Thomas had performed this routine a thousand times, and there was no way he'd screw up now. He practiced only to make sure he'd remembered the routine. "Without further ado, put your hands together for Yuniko the giraffe!"

Another spotlight switched on for the animal, but instead, as it lit up, it showed that Yuniko was not there.

"Oh, no… it's happened again! I must contact Akari!"

Cue opening theme.

-

Akari was humming a tune, chopping vegetables and watching her son slave out in the field.

"Sometimes, I wonder if maybe I'm too hard on him," she said to herself. "But it's tough love. I'm getting him ready for when he's out on his own."

There was a knock on the door.

"Hm? I'm not expecting company…" she said, putting her knife down. Looking out the window, she noticed that, at the sight of their mysterious visitor, Zack had abandoned his work and ran in horror. Akari sighed. She'd catch him later; for now, the visitor.

Akari was swiftly glomped when she opened the door.

"Oh, Akari!" her sister cried, on top of her. "I jus' cain't take it, anymore!" Akari blinked.

"Hikari?" She said. "I thought you wouldn't be here for another week." Hikari burst into tears.

"I jus' cain't help it! I couldn't stand living with that woman fer even another hour!" She cried. Akari twitched.

"Well, okay, hush, it's alright. Um, Zack just left," she said this with contempt. "And Kyona's at school. I think she mentioned she'd be hanging out with Matt, afterward…" Akari trailed off. "Anyway, you can sleep with me in my room. You don't have a problem with that, do you? We have the exact same DNA, after all." Hikari made a face reminiscent of a baby.

"Yer too kind, Akari. And old hag like doesn't deserve a sister like you," Akari rolled her eyes.

"Uh… j-just get off of me, please," Akari said. Hikari complied. Akari led her to and sat her down on the couch. "Now, tell me everything." Hikari burst; it was the request she was waiting for.

"Well, first of all, I'm thirty-six and still not married, I cain't hold down a job, my friends all make fun of me behind my back—I've heard 'em as I walk into a room—and Takeru's wife is always makin' fun o' me! She says things like 'Oh, Hikari, you're still not married? That's pathetic! Ha ha ha!' and 'Hikari, I can set you up with one of my exes, if you want!' I jus' cain't stand her! And, o' course, she acts like such an angel around Takeru, so he never believes me about her. Love is such a powerful thing…" Hikari sighed. Akari patted her hand.

"There, there, it's not so bad. You just stay here as long as you want," she said, although she was feeling very awkward. "You just sit here and cry all you want. I'll, uh… I'm going to go find my son." Hikari sobbed into the armrest next to her as Akari stood and left.

-

"Now, class," Gill said, meanwhile. "In first grade, you had an assignment to write an essay about your future career. I know, because I assigned it. Now, I want you to write the same assignment, but make it at least three pages long. I expect you to have an in-depth knowledge of what you want to do in the future. The assignment is due Friday." The class set to work, each with a topic in mind. Except for Kyona, who sat, awkwardly, in her corner. She glanced around the room; next to her, Heath was most certainly detailing his future as an adventurer. In front of her, Vivian was probably writing her plans as future dicta—err, mayor. Kyona sank into her desk. In first grade, she had wanted to be a farmer, like her mother. Now, she had realized that she hated doing farm work. All she really wanted to do was be a magical girl, and she had to accept the fact that she couldn't do that forever. Looking around the room, she noticed that Matt seemed to be just as indecisive as she was. Then she sweatdropped, noticing that he had really just fallen asleep.

Kyona stared at her blank paper, inwardly demanding that the essay start writing itself. Then Gill announced that it was time for lunch.

"Pudding~ pudding~ pudding~ the~ world~ needs~ more~ pudding~" Dakota sang, stuffing her face. Meanwhile, Lucy had nothing but a thermos.

"What's that, Lucy? Soup?" Angie inquired, opening her own neat lunchbox.

"Nah, it's coffee," Lucy responded, happily, unscrewing the lid of the thermos.

"Nooo! She'll kill us all!" Roy cried, not unreasonably, trying to wrestle the container out of her hand. Lucy, seeing a challenge, fought back, and with their combined efforts, the entire contents spilled out, splashing Kyona with the hot, black liquid. Kyona said nothing, apparently in shock.

"Oww! You idiots!" She finally shrieked, as a delayed reaction.

"Come on," Vivian said, taking her by the hand. "You can borrow one of my spare uniforms. My house is much closer than yours." Kyona sniffed, following her like a little child that just had a tantrum.

-

Vivian led Kyona to her bright, fancy room. Kyona simply stood there, feeling a little bitter, as Vivian searched through her closet.

The blond finally pulled out a sailor outfit identical to the one she was wearing.

"I hope this fits," she remarked, handing it to Kyona.

"Might be a bit tight around the bust…" Kyona murmured. Vivian glared at her.

"Do not bite the hand that feeds you," Vivian commanded. Kyona pulled off her wet clothes, dropping them in an untidy pile that made Vivian sick. With Kyona's stomach exposed, Vivian noticed a hideous burn scar just about Kyona's belly button. "Oh, my! That was some hot coffee!" She exclaimed, kneeling down and pointing to it. Kyona paused and looked down to see what she was talking about.

"Oh, no. That's been there since I was a kid. Zack—"

"ZACK did that!?" Vivian interrupted, in horror. Kyona nodded.

"He had just discovered his God powers… and he didn't know it would hurt so much… he was just a kid. Well, I don't mind it, anymore, since I saw this one anime—" Kyona stopped, because Vivian clearly wasn't listening. She was too busy being horrified that Zack would do such a thing.

"Well, we can work through it…" the blond mumbled, lost in thought.

"Uh, Vivian?" Kyona, done changing, poked her.

"Right. Let's go back to the classroom. Lunch should be over by now."

-

Hikari sat on the couch, no longer crying, but downcast.

There was a knock on the door.

"Who it it?" She asked, poking her head out the door.

"Akari!" Theodore cried. "… Oh, you got a haircut." The door flew open.

"I ain't Akari!" Hikari screeched. "She's out right now. What d'you want?" Theodore frowned.

"Well, my giraffe went missing and—" Hikari's eyes lit up.

"A missin' animal? Well, shoot, I could help you out with that!" Hikari ran into the house, slamming the door in Theodore's face. Theodore simply stood there, confused. Two minutes later, Hikari emerged, with Akari's orange animal whistle in her hand. She darted away, forgetting about the unfortunate ringmaster, who still stood there, confused.

-

"Give it back, Matt!" Kyona yelled, grabbing for her red pen. Matt was holding it away from her with one hand and holding her back with the other, smirking playfully all the while.

Finally, Kyona tackled him, desperately.

Hikari walked by and did a double-take at them.

"Wah! Love is such a powerful thing!" The brunette woman cried. "And young love is the most beautiful type of love!" Then she ran off.

Kyona sprang up at once.

"This isn't love!" She called after. Matt sat up.

"Was that… your Aunt Hikari?" He asked, puzzled. He'd seen pictures of her, but never heard her speak. Kyona pouted.

"I thought she wouldn't be here for another week…" she murmured.

"What's with her accent? I thought your mom was from Tokyo," Matt said. Kyona sighed again.

"She uses a fake accent because she thinks it will attract guys," she explained. Unexpectedly, she pounced on him again. "Now, give me back my pen!" Matt laughed, still holding it away from her.

-

"Zack!" Akari called out, wandering through Tam-Tam Forest. "Come out here! I know you're here! Your father told me so!" But Akari soon reached the witch's house at the end of the forest, with no hint of Zack.

-

Meanwhile, on top of Mount Ignis, the Harvest God and his son were having a picnic, dining on shining apples and shining grapes.

"You do realize she'll kill us both when she discovers the deception, right?" Ignis said, between bites of apple. Zack shrugged.

"Yeah, but at least I'm dragging you down with me this time," Zack replied. Ignis scowled.

"Whatever she does to me, her punishment for you will be—triple chores! And less breaks! And no MP3 player for one season! You should be ashamed of yourself, young man!" Zack cocked an eyebrow; then, with a sudden realization, turned his head around, cautiously.

Akari stood there, thoroughly unamused.

-

Kyona chased Matt down the dock at the harbor.

"I'm going to push you in the water!" She warned, angrily. Matt simply laughed at the threat.

Kyona snatched Matt's straw hat from where it was tied around his shoulders. He stopped, abruptly, and turned around to see Kyona, dangling it over the water.

"You can't do that! That was a gift from my dad!" Matt cried.

"Well, that pen was a gift from my dad!" Kyona shot back. "At least, I think it was…" she added, under her breath.

"Give me my hate back!" Matt demanded, rushing at her.

"Give me my pen back!" Kyona demanded back, holding the hat away from him.

A struggle ensued, in which Kyona looked at the lighthouse enough to notice Hikari, passed out and injured, leaning against the structure.

Kyona abandoned the boy and his hat and rushed to her aunt's side. Matt, who had noticed the scene soon after Kyona, followed, panicked, and held the woman up.

Hikari managed to wake up.

"Evil… giraffe…" she said, weakly, and passed out again.

The pair wordlessly carried her to the clinic, and Kyona dashed out as quickly as they had come.

-

Running down the street, Kyona pulled Gary out of her backpack.

"Garmoni Mine District!" the little harvest sprite quickly declared, and was promptly stuffed back in.

-

Kyona crossed the bridge and halted at the site of Yuniko terrorizing the residents. Magical Eggu-kun was making futile attempts to fight with the monster, which hardly noticed her.

Kyona fumbled through her pockets and remembered that Matt still had her pen. She mentally slapped herself and turned around to run back to the clinic.

Just then, Akari teleported to the district and saw what was happening.

She whistled and Yuniko turned to look at her.

"Here, Yuniko! Hungry? I got this nice, yummy, good herb fish for you!" The woman said, holding the dish for the giraffe to see.

The giraffe paused, sniffed, turned back to her normal, happy self, and pranced over to the woman to accept the gift.

"That was extremely convenient." Kyona remarked, in shock.

-

The audience clapped as Yuniko just barely caught the third ring.

"Thank you, ladies and gentleman! Now, join me in welcoming Glyph the hippo!" Theodore announced.

-

"So, what was the point of that?" The mysterious woman asked, in annoyance.

"Just keeping them busy," the man explained. "If I allow them to be idle, they'll have time to question things, rather than worry about the next monster attack."

* * *

Next Time: Feelings of Rabu expressed!


	15. Feelings of Rabu Expressed!

_It was a cloudy day. Somewhat depressing, actually; there was no sun to smile down on people, but there wasn't any rain to give the farmers a break. It was just a dark and dreary day._

"_Wizard… I'm sorry. I don't want to know your name. You're my best friend, and that's all… sorry," Akari said, guiltily. The Wizard turned away from her._

"_I see…" he said. He seemed hurt, but he was trying not to show it. "It's alright... as long as you're happy… I am happy…"_

-

Akari sat at her kitchen table, her hands folded under her chin.

"Why did I remember that, just now?" she wondered, aloud.

It was a rainy day, because Ignis had finally realized how harsh Akari was being, and had decided to give Zack a break.

It wasn't much of a break, though; he still had to tend to the livestock. It was nice to get away from that hellish crop field, though.

Zack entered the house, done with work, and pleased to have some extra free time.

"Zack," Akari said, grabbing his attention. "You got a letter." She passed it to him, and he read it, silently, to himself.

"Zack,

Meet me outside the lighthouse at 16:00.

It's very important.

-Vivian."

Zack rolled his eyes.

"Such a waste of paper," he mumbled. Akari laughed.

"Well, are you going?" She asked.

"Huh…?" Zack said, dumbfounded. "How did you…?"

"There's only one reason young people ever send letters in this town," Akari explained. "So, what are you going to tell her?"

"I'm going to tell her to leave me alone," Zack said, in irritation. Akari shook her head, disapprovingly.

"You can break her heart, but you don't need to crush her spirit," Zack rolled his eyes and went to his room.

-

Vivian waited at the lighthouse a half an hour before the stated time. Raindrops fell on her face like tears. Get it? It's SYMBOLIC.

She felt like, not only were butterflies in her stomach, but they were attacking her insides in a desperate attempt to get out. She was so nervous, she felt like she might throw up, but she couldn't because that wouldn't be very romantic and she wanted this to be perfect.

She rehearsed her speech in her head. She had decided to start with how they had known each other for longer than she could remember—ever since she was born. She would then continue by listing his good points, and all the times they've spent together, and end it by telling him why she loved him. Uh…

Err…

File not found.

Perhaps she would skim over that part, after all.

Explaining what she had to offer in a relationship… yes, that would be much more appropriate. It would suit her personality better.

She checked her watch; 15:30. Why wasn't he there yet? Wasn't he eager to share confessions of love?

She shook her head. No, of course not. She'd have to confess her love to HIM before he realized his love for her.

Yeah… that made perfect sense.

A half hour later, Zack finally arrived, with a "what-the-hell-am-I-doing-here," expression on his face.

"Good afternoon, Zack," Vivian said, trying to sound casual, yet graceful. The end result was snobby and pretentious.

"Not really," Zack grunted. "I got attacked by an ostrich this morning. Kinda ruins my day." Vivian sweat dropped.

"Sorry to hear that…" Vivian said, trying to sound soothing. She ended up sounding like she was mocking him. Zack scoffed at her efforts.

There was a short period of silence, in which Vivian expected Zack to ask why she'd asked him there, and Zack expected Vivian to say what she'd wanted to say.

"… Well?" Zack finally said with evident impatience.

"Yes, of course. On to business," Vivian said, seeing her 'cue.' She took a deep breath and her mind blanked. "Um…"

"I'm waiting," Zack said, glaring at her.

"What I wanted to say is that I love you," Vivian said, matter-of-fact. Zack's gaze hardened even more.

"Why?" He demanded. Vivian faltered.

"Uh… why?" Vivian was confused.

"You say you love me. Prove it." Zack said, coldly.

"I… love doesn't need a reason!" Vivian defended.

"But I do," Zack responded. He turned to leave. "Stop wasting my time."

"Wait!" Vivian called out, desperately. Zack stopped. "I… I love you because you're really cool… and smart… and…" Zack shook his head, disapprovingly.

"You're pathetic," he said. He walked away without another word. It was harsh, yes, but it was how he really felt, and he didn't want someone getting close to him, anyway.

Vivian stood there, crushed and humiliated. A dark seed was planted in her heart.

She walked, like stone, to the tailor shop, where Angie was waiting for her.

"Vivian!" Angie squeaked. Vivian was emotionless.

"A-are you alright…?" Angie asked, cautiously. Suddenly, Vivian grabbed her by the hand and dragged her to the backroom.

A montage ensued, in which Angie was dressed like a magician's assistant, an office lady, and a pink princess, blushing all the while.

Vivian stood back sighing in content.

"Ah… much better!" She said. Shelly giggled from the counter.

"You girls… you're just like your mothers!" She remarked, smiling. Vivian smirked.

"Ha. It's not my fault if Zack doesn't know what he's missing out on!" She said, rationalizing. Angie frowned.

"He rejected you…?" She asked, with concern.

"Yeah, but I don't care. I could get any guy I wanted, if I went to the city," Vivian explained.

"Well, at least you're taking it well," Angie said.

The dark seed in Vivian's heart sprouted roots.

-

Meanwhile, at Horn Ranch, Cain went outside to tend to the animals.

He was swiftly attacked by a giant monster boar.

He just barely dodged the attack and ran back to the house, where Renee yelled at him to go to the barn and protect the animals.

The boar, however, lost interest in the Horn Ranch family, and ran to the Marimba Farm, when vegetables were clearly visible, growing in the field.

Dakota, seeing the boar coming from her window, transformed and ran out.

Kyona soon arrived, having received a warning from Gary; behind her, Angie, Vivian and Lucy.

"Shining… Apple… Antidote!" Kyona cried, throwing her scepter at the boar. The boar opened his mouth wide and ate the rod in one bite. It didn't seem to have any effect on him, and he continued his journey to the vegetables. Kyona gawked.

"… Now what are we supposed to do!?" She demanded. The other girls only stared, worriedly.

"OH ho ho ho ho ho ho!" An older woman laughed from above. The harvest senshi looked up to see a silver haired, black-clad witch riding a broomstick. And, no. It's not the witch you're thinking of; this woman had short hair and wore a mask over her eyes.

"Who the heck are you!?" Kyona cried.

"Glad you asked!" The woman responded. "I am Magical Mashurumu-sama!" She said, dramatically.

"'Magical'!? You're way too old to be a magical girl, you old hag!" Kyona shouted. The woman stopped smirking and glared daggers at the girl.

"How dare you! That is no way to talk to your elders!" The woman shrieked. "Grr! Because of you, I'll have stress lines! Attack, my piggy minion!" The boar charged at the girls, and they scrambled to get out of the way.

"So you're the one turning the animals evil!" Lucy said. The woman looked offended.

"Who? Moi? No, silly girl, this is my first time changing an animal," she explained. The boar turned around for another charge. Dakota raised her weapon.

"Good pumpkin… infestation!" She cried, and an array of pumpkin seeds flew out and planted themselves in the ground below the boar.

Magical Mashurumu-sama flew down to Vivian's level.

"I can tell by looking at you that you've suffered heartbreak recently," she whispered.

The seeds sprouted into vines that tried to capture the boar. The monster only slurped them up like noodles.

"Hey! That can't be healthy!" Dakota called out.

"What's it to you!? And, anyway, I don't care!" Vivian muttered. Despite what she said, the dark seed in her heart grew into a stem.

"Hyaaaaaaaa!" Lucy moved to punch the boar, trying several times; the beast dodged each time.

The woman giggled.

"No use lying to me. I know exactly how it feels. You have a wonderful family, and a lot of friends, but none of it means anything unless _he _loves you," she said.

"I-I do have family and friends! Why should I care how he feels about me!?" But Vivian's voice was weak. The dark stem sprouted a flower bud.

"Decent Yam Euphoria!" Angie called out her attack, which, apparently, only just now got a name. The boar smiled and blushed in happiness. Then it merrily skipped to the vegetable patch to eat the crops.

"I guess it was plenty happy to begin with…" Angie said, downcast.

"We both know that there's no substitute for romantic love," magical Mashurumu-sama muttered. The dark flower bud in Vivian's heart opened, revealing a black and purple flower with an evil grin.

Kyona stood on the sidelines, praying for Sakura Guardian to come.

Vivian stood motionless. It would be wonderful for Zack to love her. If she could be so special… if they could be a couple. Wouldn't it be great if he could return the feelings she had for him.

"_Why?" _

Zack's voice rang in her ears. Why did she love him? Because… because he was cool and smart and good-looking? Would she want someone to love her for those reasons? Vivian made a face of determination and turned to look at Magical Mashurumu-sama.

"You're wrong… having a family and friends is just as good! I was never truly in love with Zack, anyway!"

Magical mashurumu-sama scowled.

"Hmph… you're no fun!" She said, accusingly.

The boar had helped himself to the crops, while the harvest senshi had resorted to trying to pull him away. Needless to say, it wasn't working.

"What's going on here?" Collin inquired, flying over to them. "Uh oh! Someone's PIGGING out! Ha ha! … No? … Tough crowd," he said. Vivian ran to help.

"Collin! What are you doing here!? You're supposed to be at the harvest goddess's spring!" Kyona sputtered, struggling with the boar.

"I figured my bell needed to be polished," Collin explained. Lucy, Dakota, and Angie didn't seem to see Collin, but Vivian dragged him away.

"I need you to try something," she said. She dropped him in front of the yellow bell. "Ring your bell." Collin frowned.

"Can't," he said. "Need the energy from moonlight." Vivian sighed.

"It has to be moonlight?" She asked. Collin shrugged.

"I don't think we've tried anything else," he said. Vivian's pen turned into a scepter with a moon on the end. How very convenient!

Vivian almost involuntarily pointed the scepter at the bell.

"Shining gold ore antidote!" She cried. A beam of light shot from the scepter and struck the bell, making it ring. Again, how very convenient!

A song of extreme epicness flooded the island.

Magical Mashurumu-sama covered her ears and screamed in agony.

The boar, hearing the song, shrank into its adorable original form and trotted back to its home, just outside Horn Ranch. Oh, yeah, and it also spit up Kyona's scepter before leaving. That's totally important.

"I guess silence really isn't golden!" Collin said. He saluted Vivian. "Nice working with ya!" And he flew back to the goddess spring.

"I won't forget this! Someday, you'll all face my wrath!" Magical Mashurumu-sama declared, and flew away.

Vivian smiled, serenely.

* * *

Next Time: Oniisan!


	16. Oniisan!

And this is where the hiatus starts, unless I can get my ass into gear and write another chapter within the next week. But I think we all know how unlikely that is. ;)

* * *

Hikari was humming a tune and chopping vegetables when Akari came down for breakfast.

"Hikari?" Akari grumbled, rubbing sleep from her eyes... "What are you doing up so early?" Hikari smiled at her twin.

"Don't you worry 'bout lil' ol' me!" She cooed. "Oh, Akari! It's wonderful! I've fallen in love again!" Akari immediately woke all the way up.

"Who is he?" She asked, though she really knew who it was. There was only one bachelor left on the island. Hikari smirked, playfully.

"You'll see soon enough. I invited him over for dinner," she said. Akari squeaked in excitement.

-

Upstairs, Kyona was half-asleep, sitting on her bed, watching Vivian pace her room, cleaning the clutter in her path.

Vivian had spent the night at Kyona's house, but rather than sleep and let Kyona sleep, Vivian instead decided to clean the room, because she couldn't sleep amongst such a mess.

"Ugh, have you ever once cleaned this room at all?" Vivian asked, disgusted, dusting the dresser. Kyona rubbed her eyes and groaned.

"I dunno… maybe when I was a kid…" she mumbled. Vivian rolled her eyes and picked up a manga featuring two guys on the cover.

"What's this?" She asked.

"Dad gave it to me. It's from the mainland. He thought I'd like it, cuz it's manga, but I'm not interested in that sort of thing," Kyona responded, falling back on her bed.

Vivian leafed through the book and went red from the imagery, first in embarrassment, then growing fascination.

"What… what garbage…" she said, blushing, putting the book back where it was, but looking back at it still. "Well… get dressed. It's almost time for school."

-

Kyona, as usual, was asleep at her desk, when someone hit her on the head. She swatted at him like she was hitting a fly.

"Go away, Matt," she groaned. Matt smirked and dug through her bag. He pulled out the red pen. Such a delightful game this was turning out to be.

"Kyo, I need to borrow this, okay?" He said, teasingly, but Kyona didn't have enough energy to care, so she just waved him off some more and he walked away.

-

Skipping ahead to after school was over Roy was chasing an adorable, blond, blue-eyed, curly-haired five-year-old boy dressed in a sailor suit.

The boy, giggling, ran away from him, to the entrance of the mine.

"You'd better not go in there! It's too dangerous for a little kid!" The boy turned, looked at Roy, blew a raspberry at him, and scurried into the mine.

Roy stopped and sighed.

"Why do I have to babysit him?" He muttered to himself. "Van's more closely related to him than I am!"

"Hey, idiot!" Roy twitched at Lucy's phail attempt at an insult, and then turned to look at her.

"'Idiot'? Wasn't I 'moron' this morning?" He asked, half jokingly. He kept stealing glances at the mine, where he'd rather be at the moment. Lucy shrugged.

"A moron is a stupid person who is mentally between seven and twelve. An idiot is a stupid person who is mentally under three. You've been demoted." Lucy explained. Roy figured it made perfect sense in her head, but in words… not so much.

"Whatever," Roy grunted. "I don't have time for this. If I don't get Rue out of the mines, my dad will kill me." Lucy cocked an eyebrow.

"Of course he will!" She said. "I'd kill you out of shame, too, if I was your parent and I'd found out you'd been defeated by a five-year-old!" Roy stared at Lucy for a few seconds.

"Ugh! I don't have time for this!" He finally said. Then he got an idea. "You think it's so easy to catch Rue? I bet I can catch him before you could!" Lucy bolted into the mines before Roy was even done talking. Roy strolled in after her. "Too easy…" he muttered.

-

Lucy bolted down the mine in pursuit of the boy.

She arrived at the red bell to see Rue looking at it.

"You!" she called out, "you're coming with me!"

Rue turned and looked at her with a begging face. His eyes were big and sparkly. Lucy faltered.

"So… so cute…" she said. Rue laughed and ran past her, back out of the mine.

Roy arrived just in time to face palm at the scene.

"_Now _who's been defeated by a five-year-old?" He said, teasingly. Lucy grunted in frustration.

"That was a minor setback! I can still catch him before you could!" And she bolted away, in pursuit of the little troublemaker.

"Whatever…" Roy said, strolling behind her.

-

Rue crashed into Kyona as the latter exited her house.

Kyona sat, dazed, for a moment, with comical swirls in her eyes.

"… Chickens? The hell? WHERE ARE THE DUCKIES!?" She demanded, delusional.

She shook her head in time to be pissed off at Rue.

"You!" she cried. "Only love interests have the right to crash into me! And you're not a love interest! … At least, I hope not."

Rue showed fear for a moment, but quickly replaced it with his sparkly-eyed-begging-face, this time, with added tears in his eyes.

"I-I'm sorry! I'm just a dumb kid! Waaah!" He cried. Kyona forgot her anger and stared at him. Then she grinned.

"Aww, it's okay! You're just too cute for anyone to stay made at you!" she cooed. Rue cackled and bolted away.

Gary flew out from… somewhere. Hammerspace, probably.

"Who was that?" He inquired, and Rue's spell was broken. Kyona's elusive maternal instincts puttered out and her tsundere instincts kicked in.

"That was Rue. He's the son of the blacksmith lady and the seed merchant. He's so annoying!" Kyona said. Gary cocked a tiny eyebrow.

"But… you… just now…" he sputtered. Kyona hoisted her bag over her shoulder.

"Shut up, Gary," she said, and continued on her way.

-

Rue speeded down the trail in Flute Fields, giggling about his cleverness, when he saw a red light appear from Tam-Tam Forest.

Curious, and probably hypnotized, he stopped and slowly walked—almost glided—into the trees.

-

A bell rang, telling the residents of Marimba Farm that they had a customer.

Ruth turned and smiled at the boy.

"Oh, Rue. What a pleasant surprise!" she said. Rue stood in the doorway, smiling generically, as if nothing was amiss. Even though something totally was.

"Grandma, can I borrow a sickle?" The little one requested, walking into the building. Ruth stared at him.

"Why, of course you can't! Sickles are too dangerous for little boys like you to handle! You'll cut a leg off!" Ruth said, dumbfounded.

"Pleeeeeeaaaaaase?" Rue begged, sparkly-eyed. Ruth stared at him and became hypnotized.

"Well… okay. You're just too cute to say no to!" Ruth smiled, and procured a sickle from the same place the Gary had previously been.

"Thank you! You're my favoritest grandma ever!" Ruth laughed, flattered, as Rue ran off, sickle in hand.

It was at that time that Craig came out from the back room.

"Did I just hear you give our grandson a sickle?" He asked. Ruth snapped out of her joyous trance.

"I… don't know," she said, staring at the door. Craig shrugged.

"It was probably nothing," he decided.

-

Rue merrily skipped to Harmonica Town, hacking and slashing at flowers and herbs in his path.

Lurking in the sky above him, Magical Mashurumu-sama watched her newest "pet."

"With that boy's influential powers, there's no way that group of girls will beat him! I'll show them the consequences of calling me a hag! Oh ho ho ho ho!" Then she noticed that Mayor Hamilton, Simon, and Shelly from the Tailor Shop were staring at her, and flew away in embarrassment.

Rue reached his destination, the mayor's house, and peaked in the window. He saw Vivian, holding a ruler like a whip, and Van, on his knees before her.

What Rue didn't know is that the conversation went like this:

"Listen, you! Heartbreak is one of the worst feelings someone can have! I don't want my cousin to have that feeling, so, since you're the only guy with an interest in her, I'm going to make sure you're the perfect match for her! Is that clear!?" Spoken like a true military sergeant.

"S-sir, yes sir!" Van whimpered.

"What did you just say to me!?"

"I-I mean, Ma'am, yes, Ma'am!"

"How DARE you refer to such a young lady as 'ma'am'!? Try again, Maggot!"

"Uhhh… Miss!"

"Good enough! Now, we begin our first drill! Let's say you're going on a date. Where do you take her!?"

"Miss, we'd go for a picnic in the fields, Miss!" Vivian cracked the ruler on the table next to them.

"Wrong! The correct answer is dinner at the inn, followed by a walk on the beach! Next, what gift would you give her!?"

"Miss, I'd give her a moondrop flower, her favorite type of flower, Miss!"

"Correct! You're learning, Maggot! Now, give me twenty push-ups!"

"But… what does that have to do with me dating Angie, Miss?"

"Are you QUESTIONING me!? Make that forty push-ups! I can't let my cousin date a weakling!"

"M-miss, yes, Miss!"

It was at this time that Rue lost interest and walked away.

"Hey! What do you think you're doing!? Don't you remember the objective? You're supposed to eliminate the harvest senshi!" Magical Mashurumu-sama barked. Which raises the question: how does she know that they're called the harvest senshi?

Rue turned on his heel, his face in a pout.

"You can't tell me what to do just 'cause you're a grown-up!" He growled.

"Why, you impudent little—you owe everything to me and you will do what I say!" Magical Mashurumu-sama bellowed. At this, Rue's eyes grew big and he began to cry. Magical Mashurumu-sama's expression changed at once. "I-I'm sorry! I didn't mean it… you're just too cute!" She cried. Rue immediately stopped crying and ran away, cackling.

"I can't believe you fell for that, Loser!" He shouted back at her. Magical Mashurumu-sama just sat on her broomstick, dumbfounded.

"That little brat! Aw, I'll never win that man's love at this rate!" She whined, and with that, she flew after the boy.

-

Gary flew forward, and behind him, the harvest senshi ran.

They caught up to Rue, running down to the dock, where Matt was fishing, with a blissful expression and his straw hat on his head.

"Matt~" the little boy said. "Can I have the red pen?" His eyes were, of course, sparkling.

"Huh?" Matt reeled in the line and turned around. He looked at the boy, confused. "How do you know I have that?"Kyona intercepted the conversation with the swiftness of a hawk.

"Matt~ can I have my pen back? Pleeeeaaaase?" She said, with big, starry eyes, a hopeful grin, and her hands clenched in baby-ish fists. Matt… didn't stand a chance. The four other members of the harvest senshi sweat dropped.

"Kyona attacked Matt at his weak point…" Dakota remarked. Kyona turned around and looked at her.

"Hm? What are you talking about, Dakota?" She asked, honestly oblivious. At this, the girls did a full-on face fault.

At the sight of Matt giving Kyona the pen, giving the exact thing he needed to the exact person he didn't want to have it, Rue stomped his foot, scowling.

"I NEVER GET WHAT I WANT!" He shrieked, giving the harvest senshi, plus Matt, reason to cower.

"Kyona! His dark aura is growing!" Gary called out, poking his head out of Kyona's backpack, where he had hid. Kyona stared at him.

"And that means…?" she inquired.

"It means he's growing stronger!" Gary explained.

"WHY DOESN'T ANYONE EVER GIVE ME WHAT I WANT!?" Rue continued.

"What are you talking about?" Kyona asked, bemused. "You get what you want all the time."

-

Zack descended the stairs and froze in horror.

The wizard was sitting at the table. He looked at him with an emotionless face and narrowed his eyes.

"Zack!" Hikari said, rushing into the house. "Oh, this is mah boyfriend. I'm sure you know him. Wizard, do you know mah nephew, Zack?"

"We've… met," the wizard said, not taking his eyes off Zack. Hikari grinned.

"Oh, that's wonderful!" She said.

"I… I need some air," Zack sputtered, making his escape.

-

Rue stomped his foot and flailed his hands comically. Only Gary and the audience could see it, but his aura was still growing.

"NO ONE EVER PAYS ATTENTION TO ME!" Rue screamed.

Kyona, tired of listening to Rue's whining, took this opportunity to transform.

By the time she was done, Rue was rolling on the ground, screaming about the horribleness of life.

Kyona quickly got sick of this because, after all, her magical girl AAAAANGST was far worse than anything this kid had to endure.

And, on that note, she realized that Matt was still present and panicked, attacking him and knocking him unconscious.

"Shining… apple… antidote!" She cried, throwing her scepter. Rue rolled out of the way and cried more. The harvest senshi, already transformed, stepped in.

"I'll fill your heart with happiness! Decent yam euphoria!" Magical Yamu-pyon called out. Rue was it with a beam of light and his tantrum came to a screeching halt.

"Now I'll destroy you all~" he sang, grinning, and wielding his sickle. The girls dodged.

Lucy heard a voice in the water cave and ran to investigate, abandoning the other girls.

Rue looked at the remaining girls with wide, pleading eyes.

"Let me kill you, pleeeeeeaaaase?" The girls were enchanted, but they were also very much disturbed, so they didn't give in to his request. Rue pretended to be sad. "My… my life is so hard~"

"No it isn't," Vivian said, scoffing. "What could possibly be so bad about your life?" Rue looked at her with fake anguish in his eyes.

"It's my mom. She's… she's _pregnant._" He said, as if he were revealing a fatal disease. "If mom has another baby… then nobody will pay attention to me…" He suddenly looked determined. "So I have to be cuter than the baby so that I'll still get what I want!" Someone smacked him on the back of the head. It was…

…

…

…

Zack! Yes, dramatic pauses make everything better.

"You dumb kid," the redheaded young man said. "You're going to be a big brother. You're supposed to care for and protect your younger siblings. You may not think you have to grow up now, but when you see your little baby brother or sister, you'll want to. And then you'll regret being such a baby." Rue looked at Zack, enthralled.

"I have… to protect them?" He said.

Just then, Ben's bell rang out.

Lucy ran out from the water cave, looking pleased with herself, with the blue harvest sprite flying next to her.

As Rue was purified, the blue pair high-fived, implying that bonding had taken place.

The girls de-transformed, and as they did, Matt woke up.

"Wha…" he said, dazed. "What happened…? I remember Kyona turning into Magical Appuru-chan, then she attacked me and now I'm here…" Kyona forced a laugh at him.

"Sounds like a strange dream, Matt. Actually, you slipped on the dock and that knocked you out," she lied.

-

When Kyona left her house the next day, she bumped into Rue.

"Good morning!" The boy said, eyes shining. "Can Zack come out?" Kyona blinked.

"Zack?" She repeated, puzzled.

"Yeah~" Rue affirmed. "I want to be just like him~"

Zack walked out of the house after Kyona, and Rue followed him, laughing.

Watching them leave, Kyona sighed.

"Screw this, I need a vacation," she said, walking back into her house.

* * *

Next time (whenever that is...): Trouble on the Biichi!


	17. Trouble on the Biichi!

OH SHIT A ZOMBIE.

QUICK GET A SHOTGUN.

Ahem. Is this finally the end of the hiatus? You might ask. No, after this, I'll disappear for another five months, I might answer.

* * *

Pascal's ship was toting along on its way to Toucan Island.

Kyona stood at the nose of the boat, wearing a red, apple-themed, two-piece bathing suit, prominently displaying her burn scar, watching the island grow in front of her eyes.

Vivian, wearing a standard, blue, one-piece stood next to her, arms crossed, eyes closed in irritation.

Dakota was standing aside, wearing a strapless white swimsuit, and Angie was next to her, wearing a pink lolita swimsuit.

The boys, wearing swimming trunks of different colors, were in the back, roughhousing.

And, behind the wheel, oblivious to all of these shenanigans, stood Pascal, who had been paid off to keep his mouth shut about the whole "ditching school to go to the beach" thing. He didn't mind, though, and found the whole situation amusing.

Anyways, back to Vivian and her RAAAGE.

"I hate you, you know," she finally said, still crossing her arms. "This is most certainly the worst thing you've done. How did you even talk me into being your accomplice? … Actually, I really don't want to know." All the while, Kyona hummed the Super Pretty Pink Diamond season five opening song, without a care in the world.

She finally decided to acknowledge Vivian, and turned and looked at her.

"Aw, c'mon. Don't try to claim you don't need a break from everything," Kyona replied, unfazed.

"That is beside the point. This… what you're doing is immoral! Aren't you supposed to be upholding justice? Some peacekeeper you are!" Kyona waved her hand dismissively.

"Meh. Gill will probably cancel today, anyway. None of the students are there," Kyona reasoned in response. Vivian glared at her.

"None of the students are there because YOU DRAGGED THEM ALONG WITH YOU ON YOUR VACATION!" She exploded. Kyona put a hand up to silence her.

"Not true. You were the only one being dragged, and you only had to come to pay for the boat tickets and to buy Pascal's silence. Everyone else wanted to come." She replied.

"GAH! Why must you always do things like this! Don't you ever think of anyone else! You make me break the rules for your stupid vacation, completely disregarding the value of education, and you make me use the money out of my pocket to fund it! And do you intend to pay me back! I doubt it! What, do you think my family has the money to pay for every little whim? Oh, but you don't care, do you? All you care about is yourself! And, for that matter, you're such an attention whore! You just wanted to be a magical girl for the recognition and you know it! You're supposed to be some kind of defender of justice, but have you done anything to stop those monster attacks for good? No! Because then you couldn't feel self-important anymore. In fact, you'd feel useless because you would be! Not only are you selfish, but you're also lazy, dumb, clumsy, and you always have your head in the clouds! You have no skills. All you have is a magical pen. What do you plan to do when the battle's over! You can't just keep fighting monsters forever, you know! Are you just going to be some kind of freeloader? You suck!" Kyona blinked, but before she could respond, the boat stopped, suddenly.

"We're here! Toucan Island! Ho ho, you have fun, you crazy kids," Pascal declared.

"Yay!" Kyona shouted, jumping out of the ship and onto the deck. The three other girls and all the boys walked off the boat, leaving Vivian, seething.

Finally, she sighed, and trudged off the boat.

At this point, the camera pans to show the beautiful beach scenery; white sand, blue water, and everything bright from the sunshine, untouched by the cold and wind of Fall.

Lucy immediately bolted to the shop to talk to her grandparents. Matt stayed on the dock and cast his fishing rod into the water. Dakota went to set her towel on the sand, and then started applying sunscreen to sunbathe. Heath and Roy jumped off the dock to swim. Kyona set off behind the shop for reasons no one wanted to know. Vivian set up an umbrella and sat under it to brood.

When Lucy was done talking to her grandparents, she ran to the dock, where Matt was.

"Whatcha doin'?" she asked, grinning.

"I'm fishing," Matt explained, a bit baffled, because it seemed pretty obvious to him what he was doing. Lucy looked at his fishing rod, then at the water, and then back at the fishing rod again.

"Jeez, your way is so inefficient. Here, let me show you how it's done!" And she dived into the water.

Five minutes later, she emerged with a fish in her mouth, and swam back to the dock, revealing five more fish in her hand. Matt was so startled that he opened his eyes and fell back.

"Wow, Lucy. That's… heh… impressive…" he said, sweat dropping.

Lucy spat the fish out of her mouth and it flopped its way back into the water. Yes, it was still alive. Lucy grimaced.

"Yech, gross. I need something to wash the taste out~" and she raced to her bag and pulled out a jar of honey, which she began to gulp down, as if it were a drink. Vivian and Dakota, sitting next to her, were disgusted.

There was a scream from behind the shop and Lucy dropped her jar and ran, with honey still on her cheeks.

A panda was squeezing Kyona; much to the latter's horror.

Lucy pointed at the animal.

"Hey, you! Let my friend go!" The panda sniffed, dropped Kyona, and grabbed Lucy, licking the honey off of her face. Lucy laughed.

"H-hey, that tickles!" She laughed. ""Aww, he's friendly. I'm gonna call him Reno!" By this time, the other kids had arrived to see what was wrong.

"Oh, my dad told me about that panda," Matt said. "I'm pretty sure he said it was a girl…"

"Oh… Cissnei, then!" Lucy declared. The panda called Cissnei, satisfied, dropped Lucy, dropped on all fours, and walked away. "Heeeey! Come back, Cissnei!" Lucy cried. She ran off to pursue her new pet, and the other kids returned to their beach shenanigans.

Matt cast his line into the ocean once again and stood, enjoying the ocean breeze and the rhythmic sounds of the seagulls making their cries.

Kyona jumped into the water and swam for an amount of time that no real human being would be able to stay under water.

Vivian pulled out a romance novel and read, while brooding under the umbrella. Dakota was sunbathing next to her.

Van was scanning the beach with a metal detector that didn't need to be explained.

And, lastly, Heath was snatching up seashells and other things on the sand.

… Wait a minute, wasn't there another one of them? Oh. Roy. I assure you, he was having fun.

"Hey, kids!" Sue called out. "I made lunch for you!" The kids on the beach assembled, and Sue looked at them, puzzled.

"Where's Lucy?" She asked. Just then, Lucy came valiantly bounding on Cissnei, as if the bear were a noble steed. She jumped off while the panda was still running at full speed, causing an unnecessarily dramatic landing, in which she flipped, rolled, and struck a pose when she stopped.

The other kids sweat dropped.

"Wow… Lucy…" Roy said. Lucy pointed at him.

"As my rival, it is your duty to try to upstage me! You must attempt a landing even more epic than mine! Now, get on the panda!" Roy's mouth dropped in shock.

"Hey, now, there's plenty of time for stupid stunts after lunch," Sue came to the rescue. "Let's eat!" And they did.

As they dined on Calvanara Spaghetti and pineapple juice, Kyona gulped down her meal and stood up.

"Excuse me," she said. "I need to… uh… go over there… with my backpack… for a minute. Bye!" And she left.

Out of sight of the others, Kyona pulled Gary out of her backpack and nearly strangled him in her hand.

"What the heck, Gary!" She demanded. "You told me there was a yakuma on this island!" The little harvest sprite gasped for breath.

"I… thought… there… was!" He managed to say, turning blue.

"Well, do YOU see a rampaging animal around here!" Kyona spat.

"Hey, Kyona?" Kyona squeaked at the sound of a voice behind her, and threw Gary back into her backpack.

She turned around and saw Matt, looking troubled.

"Oh… heh… hey, Matt," she said, coyly.

"Kyona, are you okay? You've been acting pretty weird lately…" Matt inquired, with a worried tone. 'Cuz he was. Kyona blanched.

"I'm fine, Matt! Fine. Fine. Fine." Matt hesitated.

"Kyona... if you had a secret, you'd tell me it, right?" Kyona nearly fell over.

"Of course I would, Matt! You're my best friend!" It was then that she realized how close their faces were. And then she realized that she wasn't pulling away…

And then they heard the crashes and screams of a yakuma attack. What, were you expecting any different?

They ran back to where the group was to see a giant penguin. The other girls had already managed to run off to transform. Everyone else ran into the shop.

"What on earth was that!" Sue wondered, blocking the door.

"Don't worry, Sue! Magical Appuru-chan will save us! We just gotta wait for her to show up!" Heath explained. Sue looked at him like he was crazy.

"What's going on?" Samson, behind the counter, asked.

Kyona fell to her hands and knees and tried to crawl away to transform.

"Samson, you're not going to believe this… we're being attacked by a giant penguin!" Sue said. "Kyona, get back here! We have to stay together!" Kyona sighed and retreated.

Back outside, Cissnei approached the giant, angry penguin. It squawked at her, and she rose up on her hind legs, which made her a head shorter than the penguin. The penguin flapped its flippers, descending to peck at her. Cissnei raised her paw and…

Bitch-slapped it across the face.

The penguin, for a moment, was in a state of shock. Then it raised its flipper and slapped her in return, knocking her to her side. Cissnei rose again and raised both her paws. She slapped the penguin, again and again, across the face, leaving the penguin no room to counter-attack.

The harvest senshi (minus Kyona, of course) appeared to make their attack.

"Aw… where's Magical Appuru-chan?" Heath, inside the shop, wondered with disappointment.

"Good pumpkin… infestation!" Magical Panpukin-senpai called out. A shower of seeds hit the ground beneath the penguin, and sprouted vines that entangled it.

"Perfect coco shimmer," Magical Koko-hime called out, shaking her maracas. The penguin became confused.

"Decent yam euphoria!" Magical Yamu-pyon called, and a ray of light enveloped the penguin, and it was no longer angrily struggling, but, instead, sitting there, happily.

"Hiya!" Magical Eggu-kun called out, punching the happy penguin. It fell back, breaking free from the vines, and shrank to its normal size. It blinked, and waddled away.

"Oh my!" Sue exclaimed, as the girls ran back out of sight. Kyona was catatonic.

As the sunset, the young teenagers of Harmonica Town prepared to return home.

"Goodbye, Cissnei… I'll never forget you!" Lucy said, teary-eyed. The others sweat-dropped at her, except for Kyona, who was still catatonic.

"Lucy, can't you take Cissnei with you?" Dakota asked.

"Of course not! It's hard enough already to manage with dad's ostrich!" Lucy retorted.

"Don't worry, Lucy. I'll take good care of Cissnei," Sue promised.

The group departed, waving to the islanders and Cissnei, who was the coolest panda EVER, waved back.

That night, in Kyona's room, the girl stomped across the room.

"I can't believe it! They beat the yakuma without me!" she exclaimed. "And they were so well-coordinated!"

"Well, at least the yakuma was defeated…" Gary, floating in the middle of the room, said. Kyona fell onto her bed.

"And, even worse, I almost kissed Matt… on purpose! I'm supposed to fall for the mysterious protector, damn it!" She closed her eyes. "This was the worst vacation ever…" Gary floated above her.

"That's what you get for skipping school," he smirked.

"Shut up, Gary," and she rolled over and fell asleep.

* * *

Next time: Kurippu Show!


	18. Kurippu Show!

Good news, everyone!

No more hiatuses!

By the way, you can go ahead and hate this chapter. I do, too.

* * *

Kyona rolled over in her sleep and fell on the floor, on top of Gary.

"Ouch! Not again!" The Harvest Sprite squeaked. Kyona groggily opened her eyes.

"What do you mean 'again'?" She groaned. The harvest sprite squirmed out from beneath her.

"Y'know, when we first met. I hid under your pillow and you squashed me." Gary explained.

Kyona had a flashback.

_Kyona's head hit the pillow and somebody screamed._

_The pink harvest sprite wiggled his way out of Kyona's pillow-hold. Kyona, suddenly wide awake, jumped off of her bed and crab-walked across the floor._

"Oh, yeah…" she murmured. Then she crashed down on Gary again and fell back asleep.

The next day, Kyona headed out the door and fell down a small cliff. Gary flew out of her backpack.

"Hey, Kyona, do you remember the last time that happened?

_Of a sudden, she tripped and fell down over a small cliff, somehow triggering her magical girl transformation._

"That was the day that Vivian became a magical girl!" Gary added. Before another flashback could start, Kyona smacked him.

"Damn it, Gary, this is the present! Stop living in the past!" She said, and she continued walking to school.

School came and school went, and now we switch to Heath's perspective. He was heading out the door when the bush beckoned to him.

He stared at it, with its green-clad arm motioning to him. He cautiously stepped closer, and the arm yanked him in, revealing that the bush was not alive; it was just Van hiding in there.

"Oh, Van, it's you," Heath remarked. "Aww… I thought I was going to get to meet a bush…"

"Shush!" Van said, making a hushing motion. He peaked out of the bush and looked at Vivian. The girl looked around, shrugged, and then walked into her house. "Phew… I can't take another boyfriend training class…"

"A what?" Heath asked. Van ignored his question and toted him to his house, where he sat him in a chair. There was an easel in front of him, with a large artist's notebook sitting on it.

Heath blinked, as Van took out a pointer and started pointing at the first drawing in the book. It read "Van's Brilliant Magical Girl Theory" in big red letters, with a hideous, smirking cartoon image of Van beside the text.

"You see, Heath, I have figured out the truth about the so-called harvest senshi. And no one will believe me. And I'm sick of it. So, I have decided to convince everyone, one-by-one, that the girls of the island are the… err… 'magical-chans.' I figured it would be easier to start with the stupidest person on the island, hence why you're here." Van explained.

"Ohh… I get it. You're done with Rue, so you moved on to me, right?" Heath said.

"Err… y-yeah… let's go with that," Van, who had been planning to go to Rue next, said, sweatdropping.

"Okay. Let's get started!" Heath said, happily kicking his legs up and down. Van sighed and turned the page of the notebook.

This page had a red-headed stick figure, with a navy blue miniskirt, and a messily-drawn arrow pointing to another stick figure, wearing what looked like a red hat and red pants, and holding a stick with an… apple… on the end.

"You see, my belief is that Kyona is Magical Appuru-chan," Van began, pointing to the picture.

"No way! That would mean that I like the same girl as Matt! Bros before hoes, dude!" Heath countered. "Whatever that means…" he added, contemplatively. Van twitched.

"This is based on the fact that Kyona bears an uncanny resemblance to our heroine," he continued.

"So what? Mayor Hamilton looks like a potato. Does that mean Mayor Hamilton is a potato?" Heath remarked.

"No, because that's impossible!" Van shouted.

"Exactly!" Van restrained himself from face palming.

"Moving on…" Van said, grating his teeth. "Kyona also shares many mannerisms with Magical Appuru-chan, such as her hyperactivity and her evident desire for attention."

"Well, Mayo—"

"_Mayor Hamilton does not share any mannerisms with a potato!_" Van snapped.

"Okay, okay. Sheesh." Van sighed, flipping the page.

This page had a witch's hat, with an arrow pointing to it, labeling it "magic."

"In our everyday lives, we have seen evidence of magic. For example, there's a wizard living in town and a witch living in Tam-Tam Forest," Van said.

"But… but… Kyona doesn't have magical powers. She's just the daughter of a farmer and a drifter!" Heath said.

"Well, she could have used the wizard or witch's powers. Maybe even the Harvest Goddess or Harvest God's powers!" Van retorted. Heath shook his head.

"No way. If they were going to give someone magic powers, why Kyona? She's a jerk," he said.

"Uh… maybe she asked for them?" Van tried.

"Why would they give it to her just because she asked?"

"Maybe they owed her a favor for something?"

"Like what?"

"_I don't know! Just shut up and listen!_" Van yelled. Heath pouted in his chair. Van flipped the page again.

This page had a…creature… attacking a rectangle labeled "school." The creature had a piece of the rectangle in its hand. On the side of the screen, a muscular stick figure with glasses and a speedo was carrying a purple-headed stick figure in a blue skirt away.

"You may recall the first time we saw Magical Appuru-chan and her team…" he said. There was a flashback.

_Outside, there was chaos. Simon was running back and forth, torn between his desire to run away from the monster and his desire to photograph it. Barbara seemed to be running around, trying to protect some important items from her store. Toby… was taking a nap. Pascal was running around in circles, ignoring the fact that he had a ship to escape in, and apparently very close to having a heart-attack. And then there was Hamilton, at the middle of it all, trying to calm everyone down, despite the fact that no one was listening._

By this point, you're surely wondering "Wait a minute, is she just copying and pasting from older chapters?" You would be correct.

Heath raised his hand.

"Uh… who's that fat guy and why is he kidnapping Angie? I don't remember him," he said, confused.

"_Those are muscles!_" Van cried. "And I'm rescuing her!"

"If you say so…"

"Well, whatever. If you remember, as soon as the harvest senshi showed up, the girls were nowhere to be found." Heath raised an eyebrow.

"But they told the teacher that they had panicked and ran away!"

"Well, obviously that was a lie to hide their secret identities!"

"But if they lied, then that makes them bad heroes!" Heath said. "… But if it was the truth, then they weren't liars and thus made good heroes, so there'd be no reason to doubt their morals and… ahh my head hurts!" Van flipped the page again.

This page had a lot of green shapes on it, and a purple-headed stick figure holding a purple blob, and another stick figure crouching in the green.

_Van, who arrived just in time to see the new magical girl summon her weapon, a baton, could tell immediately that she was Angie. He didn't even need logic. His LOOOOVE told him._

"My next point focuses on the beautiful Angie. She's Magical Yamu-pyon. I've seen her," Van claimed. Heath gasped.

"You saw her transform?" He asked. Van scratched his cheek in embarrassment.

"Well… no. I arrived just after she transformed, but I could tell that it was her. I just knew that it was her!" Van insisted. "Also, I saw Kyona with them, and she talked to them like Magical Appuru-chan would talk to them."

"But… maybe she owed Magical Appuru-chan a favor and she was just filling in for her?" Heath suggested. Van heddesk'd.

"That makes no sense!"

"It makes as much sense as what you're trying to say!"

"No it doesn't!"

"Oh, okay," Heath said. He grinned, satisfied. Van smiled and flipped the page again.

This page had a creature just barely identifiable as a monster boar. It had a blond stick figure, wearing what appeared to be military clothes for some reason, and a pointy-headed stick figure, riding a broom.

"I have learned, from eye-witness reports, that a giant boar attacked flute fields, accompanied by a witch, that wasn't the usual witch that lives in Tam-Tam Forest," Van explained. "My witness—that is, my grandpa—says that the witch was talking to Magical Koko-hime, A.K.A Vivian, about having her heart broken. Earlier that day, Vivian had been rejected by the farmer's son, Zack. After this incident, and for no other ready explanation, Vivian was suddenly okay with the rejection. Clearly, Vivian received closure as Magical Koko-hime." Heath waved his hand dismissively.

"Girls are bipolar, anyway. It would be suspicious if she was still depressed about it hours later," he said. Van blinked.

"If I were a girl, I would slap you for that comment."

"Well, yeah, but you'd get over it within an hour." Van sighed.

"Moving on…" he flipped the page again.

This page simply showed a brown-headed stick figure, lying down on a brown surface of some sort.

_Kyona quickly got sick of this because, after all, her magical girl AAAAANGST was far worse than anything this kid had to endure._

_And, on that note, she realized that Matt was still present and panicked, attacking him and knocking him unconscious._

"According to Matt, he fell on the dock and hit his head, knocking him unconscious, at which point, he had a dream that Kyona was Magical Appuru-chan. According to my research, being knocked unconscious from such a fall is impossible! Therefore, Kyona being Magical Appuru-chan was not a dream!" Heath looked troubled.

"I dunno, Man. Stuff like that happens to me all the time. Heck, it happened to me yesterday. Maybe it happened to me just now and this is all a dream!" Heath said. Van hit him with the pointer. "Ow!"

"See? It's not a dream," Van turned the page.

On this page, there was a giant penguin, and four stick figures beside it. One had orange pigtails and appeared to be wearing an orange jacket, ala Magical Panpukin-senpai. Another had… purple? Blue? Spikes, and had a Magical Eggu-kun-ish coat on. The third had purple hair and was wearing a purple bikini. The forth had yellow hair, and was dressed, inexplicably, in a military uniform.

"I seem to remember that Angie was wearing a white lolita one-piece that day…" Heath said.

"Not important! As you can see, Magical Appuru-chan is not present in this picture. She was not there that day to fight the monster, because she was inside with us."

"Nuh-uh! If she was inside, I would have noticed!"

"I meant that Kyona was inside with us!"

"Huh? What does she have to do with Magical Appuru-chan?" Van stared. The easel fell on the ground. Heath smiled like the idiot he was.

"Have you even been paying attention this entire time!" Van finally demanded.

"Not really," Heath said, picking his ear. "What are we doing again?"

"I'm trying to tell you that Kyona is Magical Appuru-chan!" Van shrieked.

"Ohh… I get it now," Heath said.

"You do!" Van gasped in shock.

"Yeah! I totally see! Mayor Hamilton isn't just a potato, he's a BAKED POTATO!" Heath said. "I must find evidence! The world must know!" And he ran off to pursue his theory.

Van stood there, staring, for about ten minutes.

"Ah, forget it," he finally said, and packed away his things.

* * *

Next time: Festival and a Kisu!


	19. Festival and a Kisu!

Uh... no comment?

* * *

It was nine in the morning, and Kyona was heaving a basket of green apples across Marimba Farm.

"Careful with those; if you drop them, they'll bruise, and they won't make a good display. And pick up the pace, will you? We don't have all day until the festival starts!" Vivian commanded.

"If we need to get done so quickly, why don't YOU pick something up and help!" Kyona barked back at her.

"Why, me? Oh, I couldn't. My arms are far too weak and delicate for all that heavy lifting," Vivian responded, waving her hand, dismissively. Kyona's face turned red, to reflect her anger.

"Why you—" she yelled, raising the basket over her head, attempting to throw it at her. Instead, it tipped over, and the apples came spilling out, all over the ground.

"I told you to be careful!" Vivian called out, as Kyona began to gather up the spilled apples.

Dakota, sitting under a tree, was gazing up at the sky, dreamily.

"Oh!" She squeaked, as an apple rolled to her feet. She picked it up, and tossed it, aiming for the basket in Kyona's arms, but instead, hit her in the head. As Vivian stifled a laugh, another apple, rolling behind the tree, caught her eye.

"Hey, Dakota, can you get that one?" Vivian called out, pointing in the general direction of the rogue apple. Dakota's eyes roamed a little, until she finally saw where Vivian was pointing.

As she grabbed the apple, she saw something unusual out of the corner of her eye.

There was a green-clad chibi, sleeping under the shade of the tree.

She looked at it, puzzled.

"A doll?" she muttered to herself. She poked its cheek and it stirred. It opened its eyes and looked at her, still half-asleep.

Dakota squealed in horror and ran.

Akari clung to her son, who was tolerating the attention.

"My baby boy's finally entering his first contest…" she said, with tears in her eyes. Zack struggled to get out of her grasp, to no avail.

"Mom, I'm not a kid anymore," he complained. Akari squeezed tighter.

"Don't you get it, Zack? You'll always be a kid to me," she replied. Zack sighed in defeat.

Hikari ran to them, out of breath.

"Where have you been?" Akari asked her. Hikari stiffened, as if hiding something. Which she probably was.

"Why, me? I jus' haid some… business to take care of. Yeah, just some silly ol' business. Nothing to worry your pretty little head about, okay?" Hikari stammered. Zack glared at his aunt from over Akari's arms. Akari simply blinked.

"Um, okay, Hikari. If you say so." And she went back to smothering Zack.

As Zack finally got a chance to get away from his mother and help with the preparations, Dakota leaned against a tree, out of breath from running away from the sprite.

"What's wrong, Dakota?" Angie asked her.

"I… I… saw… there… harvest sprite…" Dakota struggled to explain. Angie blinked and backed away a few steps to get away from her.

"Geez, Dakota, the stress of the upcoming cooking competition must really be getting to you. You're delusional. You should go take a nap before the competition starts." Angie said. Dakota collapsed face-forward.

"Yes. Sleep. Good." She sputtered, and then was silent.

Just then, Lucy came running and jumped on Dakota's back, destroying the latter's chance of sleep.

"Lucy! Why did you do that!" Angie cried in horror.

"Haha! I will win the vegetable contest this year, no problem! And then Roy will acknowledge me as his superior!" Lucy shouted, seemingly oblivious to the fact that someone was beneath her feet and in great pain.

"But, Lucy, you don't even have any vegetables…"Angie protested, temporarily straying from the fact that Lucy was squashing Dakota.

"A minor setback!" Lucy declared, and sped off.

"Dakota, are you okay?" Angie asked, looking down at her. Dakota struggled to get up.

"I'll be fine once I win the cooking contest and Heath finally notices me," Dakota said, leaning against the tree. Kyona scoffed.

"Haven't you given up yet? You know Heath likes Magical Appuru-chan. Which is me," she said.

"Kyona, please…" Vivian said, pleading and exasperated.

"What? I can't help it that my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard!" Kyona replied, snickering. Dakota seethed.

"Maybe it would if you had any milk to shake!" Dakota retorted. Kyona's snickering ceased immediately, to be replaced by a look of incredulity. As a shoujo heroine, she was obligated to be severely offended at comments about her bust size!

"What's that supposed to mean!" She demanded, puffing out her bosom in an effort to make it look like it existed.

"It means you're flat-chested, stupid!" Dakota pressed further.

"Tch! Says the pot to the kettle! Or should I say, says the skillet to the kettle!" Kyona remarked.

"Billboard bust!" Dakota said.

"Ha! Now who's stupid? Billboards are big!" Kyona said.

"Please stop fighting!" Angie begged, teary-eyed, safely on the sidelines.

"Yeah, big and flat!" Dakota said.

"Now you're calling me fat! Why you little—" Kyona's "brilliant" and "well-thought-out" insult was cut short by a smack to the back of the head.

"You're making a scene. It's an embarrassment," Zack said, hoisting his sign/smacking tool over his shoulder.

"But… but… she started it!" Kyona whined, pointing at Dakota.

"You liar! You started it when you started bragging!" Dakota protested, at which point Angie was reduced to tears.

"I don't care who started it. Just shut up and stop acting like a five-year-old," Zack interjected. Kyona sat down on the grass, crossed her arms, and pouted. Dakota did the same, but she sat with her back turned to Kyona.

"Err, Angie, are you okay?" Vivian asked when all was said and done.

"I-I… I don't like it when people fight," the purple-haired girl sobbed. Vivian sweatdropped.

"Well, everything is okay, now, so you don't have to worry," she replied.

Meanwhile, everything was not okay.

Roy was carefully arranging a vegetable basket so that it looked like something out of a picture. Lucy came with no warning and crashed into the basket, sending herself the whole contents of the basket to the ground. Roy twitched.

"Come to brighten my day again?" He asked her, sarcastically. Lucy staggered to her feet again. She pointed at him, enthusiastically.

"Never! I'd never do anything to brighten your day!" She shouted. Roy sweatdropped and gawked at her.

"I-I was being sarcastic…" he stammered, scratching his cheek. Lucy waved a dismissive hand at him.

"Regardless! I'm not here to brighten your day! In fact, I'm here to make you miserable! You'll certainly swear vengeance against me when I beat you in the vegetable contest!" She cried. Roy was not amused.

"I'm not entering the vegetable contest," he replied. Lucy almost fell on her face.

"Ha ha! Scared that I'll beat you?" She asked, still enthusiastic, regaining her composure.

"No. I don't care. I just don't have a patch of land sufficient for growing vegetables. In fact, neither do you. How are you going to enter?" Roy said. Lucy paused for a second. Then she shook her fist at him.

"Damn you, Roy! You ruined my plans once again! I swear, I'll get you one of these days!" She said, and then scurried away, dramatically.

A whistle rang out.

"Thank you, Akari," Hamilton said, as Akari was surrounded by animals. "Anyways, thank you all for coming to this year's crop festival. We have some very promising contestants, and here they are! Zack, from Voice Farm!" The crowd cheered for Zack, but none cheered louder than Akari, "Renee, from Horn Ranch!" The crowd cheered for Renee, especially Matt and Toby, "Taylor, from Marimba Farm!" Eh, you get the idea. "And, finally, Craig from—" the mayor stopped, suddenly, and keeled over.

"G-Grandpa?" Vivian called out, and held herself with worry. Gill ran to his father's side, and Jin followed, to check on the old man.

Hamilton suddenly laughed. He stood, and smacked the two away.

"A festival? What a joke! You're all losers!" The mayor bellowed. He walked up to a basket of peppers and kicked it over.

There were whispers among the crowd, mostly wondering when the harvest senshi would come. Vivian and her mother ran to her father's side, as Gill was wounded from Hamilton's attack. Dakota and Angie slipped away to transform. Kyona tried to leave, but Matt grabbed her out of misguided concern for her safety.

Hamilton picked up the empty basket and threw it at the crowd. It went in Lucy's direction.

"Look out!" Roy said, and knocked her down, out of the way of the basket, with hit more baskets of produce and knocked them over like bowling pins.

Lucy went red faced with rage and punched Roy, knocking him away.

"How DARE you try to protect me, your arch rival!" She said.

"You could be a little more grateful after I saved you!" Roy replied. Lucy threw a basket at him.

"Lucy SMASH!" Roy ran away and Lucy chased after him.

"Oh, dear…" a newly-transformed Magical Yamu-pyon murmured, and followed the two, leaving only Magical Panpukin-senpai to face the yakuma/servant of darkness/lost soul/I bet you forgot about this gag/dark puppet because that's what Dakota calls them in her head/poor thing, which is what Angie thinks of them as. Anyway…

Daren flew out from wherever he was a second before.

"I have an idea! My fellow sprites told me about something like this! Come on, Magical Panpukin-senpai, follow me!" He said. And she did. The duo ran off to the ranch.

Daren led the girl to his bell in the tower.

"If you help me ring this bell then the fat guy will go back to normal!" he said. Magical Panpukin-senpai scratched her head.

"But our colors don't match…" she said. Daren shrugged.

"They're close enough. Magic isn't picky," he said.

"If you say so," the girl replied. "Uh… Shining Orange Antidote!" she called out, and the green bell played its tune.

Hamilton was hit with a beam of light and sent backwards on his behind. He sat, dazed, and shook his head. He stood and smiled.

"Now, then, without further ado, allow me to announce the winner of the vegetable contest!" He declared. The residents of Harmonica clapped and cheered.

Roy bolted in the direction of the mines and Lucy chased after him, flailing her arms comically. Magical Yamu-pyon pursued both of them.

Finally, Lucy caught up to Roy on the bridge and tackled him. Magical Yamu-pyon panicked.

"Decent Yam Euphoria!" the magical girl called out, waving her wand. Or however that worked.

Lucy went all sparkly-eyed and grinned like an even bigger idiot.

"Oh, Roy! I'm so sorry for picking fights with you all the time! What's there to be mad about when the world is so full of joy, anyway?" she cried, leaning closer to him. Roy was in a similar state of happiness.

"It's alright, Lucy. I can't be mad at you when I feel so happy!" he replied, also leaning closer. And, as was inevitable, their lips met.

"Um… wow…" Magical Yamu-pyon said, turning red. "So _that's _what happens when that attack is used on a human…" and, at that moment, the euphoria wore off, and the two opened their eyes wide in shock.

"Ugh! You taste like the souls of the damned!" Lucy cried, covering her mouth in disgust and scooting away with rocket-like speed.

"First you punch me and now you kiss me! Make up your mind, woman!" Roy exclaimed, doing the same thing.

"I did not kiss you! Clearly, you kissed me!" Lucy bellowed, pointing accusingly with one hand, while still covering her mouth with her other hand.

"Well, I certainly don't remember agreeing to kiss you!" Roy retorted.

"So, what, you wouldn't want to kiss me! Is that it!"

"That… is beside the point!"

Zack stood unenthused on a podium, a bag of fertilizer in his hands, the block beneath him labeled "1st". Next to him, Renee smiled, standing on a block labeled '2nd". On the other side of him, Craig scowled, as he stood on the block labeled "3rd".

Akari, tearing up, clapped like a maniac at her son's victory. Kyona crossed her arms, bored, but secretly, deep, deep down, she was proud of her brother.

Angie arrived at the scene, frowning, with Lucy, pouting, trailing behind her, and Roy in the rear, his hands in his pockets.

"What's up with you two?" Dakota asked, cocking an eyebrow, with Daren sleeping on her shoulder.

Lucy and Roy looked at each other for a brief moment, then 'hmph'd' and looked away. Angie pouted.

"I'll tell you later," she said and the camera panned out, because it was the end.

* * *

Next time: Ghost Monogatari!


	20. Ghost Monogatari!

I... I couldn't resist the ending to this chapter. Seriously.

* * *

Kyona and Hikari were in Horn Ranch's storage, helping the owners clean out. Akari was helping Hanna get snacks for everyone.

Kyona pulled a box off the top shelf and fell on her butt. The contents of the box spilled on the floor and a sheet fell on Matt's head, covering him.

"Ow…" Kyona moaned. She sat up and picked up a few books that had spilled. A song started playing from somewhere. She looked around and saw that a music box had fallen out of the… well… box.

"Oh," Renee said, picking it up. "I remember this. My mom used to play this for me when I was little." She put the music box on a shelf and let it play.

"Juice time," Akari announced, coming in with a tray of glasses full of juice. Her eyes fell on Matt, who was still wearing the sheet. "GHOST!" She shrieked, dropping the tray. She ran to the wall and climbed up to the ceiling, where she clung, shivering.

"Erm, Akari, how are you doing that?" Renee asked, looking up at her. Hikari sweat dropped.

"Akari's been terrified of ghosts evah since we wah kids," she explained. Akari continued to shiver and did not speak.

"It's true," Finn said, peeking out from Akari's bag. "I had to practically drag her to the church when we thought Edge was a ghost."

Kyona pulled the sheet off of Matt.

"Nice job, jackass. You broke my mom," she said.

"Kyona! Language!" Akari said. Matt chuckled. Akari jumped down from the ceiling. "I hate ghosts. That's why I won't even go to the cemetery to bury my animals."

"Akari, you don't honestly believe that rumor, do you?" Renee asked.

"What rumor?" Kyona and Matt asked in unison. Akari panicked.

"Come on, Kyona. Time to go home," she said, pulling on her daughter's arm.

"There's a rumor that a ghost haunts the graveyard. It's said that he comes out after dark," Renee said, sighing. Matt's eyes lit up. Kyona blanched.

"But it's not true, so there's nothing to worry about, now let's go," Akari said, quickly, as she ushered Kyona out the door with Hikari following.

Kyona was sitting at her desk, thinking of magical girly things. Gary flew into her field of vision, flailing his arms.

"Kyona! I sense a yakuma that's going to be created!" He said. Kyona jumped to her feet and grabbed her pen.

There was a tapping on her window. She opened it and looked out.

It was—who else?—Matt. She scowled.

"What do you want?" She asked. Matt frowned.

"Can't you at least pretend to be happy to see me for once?" He teased.

"Not when you're in a position to sneak into my room and watch me sleep," Kyona responded, sourly.

"I wouldn't watch you sleep. Your window is always locked," Matt said.

"… _Why, you!_" Kyona shouted. Matt laughed.

"I was only kidding! Sheesh, Kyo. Anyway, let's go to the cemetery," Matt said. Kyona went pale.

"Th-the cemetery? B-but that's where the ghost is," she sputtered. Matt nodded.

"Uh-huh! I want to see the ghost for myself. It'll be exciting!" He said. He paused. "Don't tell me you're scared?" Kyona crossed her arms and pouted.

"I'm not scared! I just think it's a waste of time. Ghosts aren't real," she said. Matt chuckled.

"Aw, come on. It'll be fun! I'll hold your hand if you get scared!" Gary flew over from Kyona's desk.

"Kyona, the yakuma! It's in the cemetery!" He said.

"It is?" Kyona asked, looking at the sprite.

"Who are you talking to…?" Matt asked.

"Uh… no one! Forget it. Let's go!" Kyona said, jumping out of the window and onto the ground.

"Jeez, you're weird," Matt said, following her.

Matt walked down the steps to the graveyard with Kyona cautiously following after.

Once there, they heard the sound of weeping.

Kyona's apprehension ceased immediately and her expression turned to a sour one.

"So, it was just Edge all along, huh?" She murmured to herself. Matt put a finger to his lips to silence her.

"Shh, can't you hear that ghostly crying?" He whispered. Kyona sighed.

"It's not a ghost, Matt. I can't tell you how I know, but… just trust me, okay?" She said. Matt blinked. Sort of. He has his eyes closed, you know.

"Uh… okay, Kyo. Let's keep looking, okay? Maybe we'll actually see a ghost," he replied. And, just then, a ghost—or maybe a guy in a sheet—appeared in front of one of the graves. Matt jumped. Kyona shrieked and jumped into Matt's arms. The ghost cried ghostly tears of ghostliness.

"Ah, to be young and in love," he sobbed.

"We are not in love!" Kyona shouted, shaking her fist at the ghost.

"Uhh, Kyo? I'm still holding you. I can kinda see where he made the mistake," Matt said.

"Oh, right," Kyona said, jumping down. The ghost cried some more.

"No one can appreciate love when they have it," he said.

"I told you, we're not in love!" Kyona shouted, pouncing at him. She went right through him and her face smacked into his grave.

"Kyo, are you okay?" Matt asked, in shock.

"Ow…" Kyona whimpered, getting up and rubbing her face. The ghost cried again.

"My Anna got angry like that all the time!" He said.

"Anna?" Kyona asked, as Matt helped her up.

"Yes, Anna. She was my girlfriend. We were so in love, but then she broke the music box I gave her, and we had a fight. But I got into an accident and died before we made up!" The ghost sobbed. "She probably hates me now…" Kyona leaned in to Matt.

"Do you know anyone named Anna?" She whispered. Matt shrugged.

"My great-great-grandmother's name was Anna," he whispered back.

"You don't think…?" Kyona said.

"Well, who else could it be?" Matt replied. Kyona stepped forward.

"Uh, excuse me Mr. Ghost?" She said.

"My name is Tom!" The ghost cried.

"Right, uh, Tom. Sorry to say this, but, well… Anna's dead," she said. Tom fell silent.

"Is… is this true?" He asked. Matt stepped forward.

"She died about thirty five years ago. I know, because I'm her great-great-grandson," he said. Tom was expressionless.

"So, not only did she never forgive me… but she also fell in love with someone else…" he said. A mysterious breeze appeared.

"Well, I don't know about _that_…" Kyona said. The breeze intensified into a wind.

"I've waited all these years…" Tome said. He started growing.

"Uh-oh," Kyona said. She reached to grab Matt, but then she saw that he was running away. "What the—MATT, YOU JERK!" She shouted. The wind became stronger until it reached tornado levels. Kyona got on her knees and covered her head. She fumbled around for her pen. Finding it, she transformed.

From behind a tree, Magical Mashurumu-sama watched the scene with glee.

"OH-ho-ho-ho-ho! This is perfect! We'll finally be rid of that little brat!" She said. She then frowned and sank against the tree. "Oh, who am I kidding? My sister would never forgive me if she found out I let her die…"

Magical Appuru-chan stood up.

"Tom! Just because she loved someone else doesn't mean she didn't love you, too! Do you want her to have been alone and pining for you for the rest of her life!" She shouted. Tom ignored her, weeping again. "Is this what Anna would have wanted!" The wind stopped, and Tom stopped weeping, but didn't say anything.

Magical Appuru-chan's pen turned into her scepter. Just as she was preparing her attack, a song was heard.

She turned around and saw Matt, holding the music box they had found earlier.

"That… that music box…" Tom said.

"She had it repaired after you died," Matt said. "Because she still loved you."

"Anna… she kept the music box. No matter what happened… our love still prevailed," Tom shrank to his original size. "Thank you, Matt. Now I can pass on. Take care of Kyona, okay? You two make a cute couple. Also, remember to stay away from the mine cart."

And with those parting words, he rose up and disappeared.

Matt sighed and looked around to where Magical Appuru-chan was.

"Hey, where'd Kyona go?" he asked, looking around. Magical Appuru-chan panicked.

"Uhh… who's Kyona? I've never heard of her before. She must have run away when that ghost turned into a yakuma," she said. Matt frowned and shrugged.

"I guess you're right. I'd better go to her house to go check on her…" he said. "Thanks for, uh, trying to stop the monster, I guess." He walked away.

When he was gone, Magical Appuru-chan breathed a sigh of relief. Then she glowed red and was back to her usual self.

When Matt was out of sight she bolted to the mine cart to be home before he got there.

Tom rose to the fluffy clouds where good people went when they died.

Once there, he saw Anna, just as young as when Tom had died.

"Anna?" He asked. He ran to her. As he drew closer, he saw another man, holding hands with Anna and looking at her with love.

Tom looked at Anna, then at the man, and then back at Anna again.

"Your husband?" Tom asked. Anna frowned and nodded. "… Well, this is awkward."

* * *

Next Time: Sankyuu!


	21. Sankyuu!

This is the last "filler" of the fic. Everything after this will be conclusion-tastic.

Also, it now occurs to me that this site deletes my scene-transition-hyphens. FUUUUUUU

* * *

It had been four days since the Tom fiasco. There hadn't been a single yakuma attack since then and Kyona was growing restless. She sat at her school desk, shivering from heroine withdrawal. Or maybe from the winter weather. Either way, it was Thanksgiving on Castanet, and everyone was giving their loved ones shortcake.

Dakota was trying to give Heath her cake, but Heath was being unusually resistant to being given food.

"Come on, Heath! I made it with love just for you!" Dakota said, prodding him with the cake.

"Noooo!" Heath protested. "I'll catch cooties!" Lucy jumped.

"Cooties! I completely forgot about cooties! Roy, if you gave me cooties, I'm kicking your ass!" She said, in her usual fashion, as she pointed at Roy. Heath turned to look at her.

"You idiot," he said. "Girls are the ones that give people cooties!" Lucy grew indignant.

"You're the idiot," she replied. "If I have cooties, then why am I not bald yet!"

"They're you're cooties! You're immune to them!" Heath said.

"Maybe they're YOUR cooties and YOU'RE immune to them!" Lucy suggested.

"Bu—"

"ENOUGH!" Heath's response was cut off by Dakota. "Heath, cooties don't exist, and I'll prove it!" She grabbed him by the shoulders and kissed him on the lips. Lucy gasped. Angie covered her mouth in shock, while her eyes were covered by an ashamed and blushing Vivian. Matt opened his eyes for the first time in a long time. Roy wolf-whistled. Kyona continued to shiver, not paying attention. Gill stood from his desk.

"That's enough of that," he said. "Dakota, you have detention after school today." Dakota let go of Heath and sat back in her desk. Heath continued to stand there like he'd been shot. Finally, he walked stiffly back to his desk and sat, soundlessly.

"… Maybe girls really DO have cooties…" Lucy said, breaking the silence.

* * *

Mira stood before the altar in the church, her head bowed in prayer.

"Aunt Mira?" A meek voice behind her said. She jumped and turned around.

"Oh, Angie. It's you," she said, softly. Angie frowned.

"You look sad. What were you praying for?" She asked.

"I was praying that my husband is having a happy life after death," Mira replied. She looked up at the sky. "Akari said I should pray to the Harvest God. I wonder if he's listening."

* * *

Ignis sat, cross-legged on his throne, covering his ears. His eyes were closed in irritation.

"Damn it, humans!" He said. "I can't solve every little concern you have! ARGH!"

* * *

Angie sweat-dropped, remembering what she had seen less than a season before.

"I-I'm sure he is," she said. "And I'm sure Uncle is happy in heaven." Mira managed a sad smile.

"Such a sweet child," she said. "I remember when I was your age. My husband—well, he wasn't my husband back then—he would make me a cake every year. He was a terrible cook, so I didn't want it, but he wouldn't give up until I took it." She sighed and frowned again. "Such memories…" She walked, almost glided, past Angie, and out the door.

Angie watched her leave and frowned. She gasped when she heard a sob from behind her.

It was coming from behind one of the doors, the one that led up to the bell. Angie cautiously stepped closer to it.

"P-Perry? Is that you?" She called out. There was no answer. Her hand shaking, she reached out and opened the door.

She followed the sound up to the bell tower. There, she saw a purple harvest sprite. She gasped, and it looked at her. They screamed in unison.

Angie backed away and breathed heavily, leaning against the wall.

"Wh-what are you?" she asked.

"I… I… waaaaah!" The sprite burst into tears again. Angie stopped panting and frowned.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"That woman's story! It's so sad! Waaaaaaah!" the sprite cried. Angie nervously patted him on his tiny back.

"Erm, there, there," she said. "You don't need to worry about Aunt Mira. She got over her husband's death a long time ago." The sprite sniffled.

"A-are you sure?" he asked.

"I'm positive," Angie said. "She… well, she just gets sad about it when she thinks about it." The sprite burst into tears again.

"Waaaaaaaah! That's not getting over it at all!" He cried. Angie panicked.

"Please don't cry!" She begged. She started crying herself and they cried together.

"Angie? Is that you?" Perry, the priest, opened the door and walked up the stairs to where Angie and the sprite were. "What are you crying about?" Angie turned read.

"Well… this sprite…" she tried to say, but the words wouldn't come out right. The priest cocked an eyebrow.

"What on Earth are you talking about?" he asked. Angie looked up at him.

"But… but don't you see the sprite?" She asked.

"Apparently, you're hallucinating. Maybe you should go home and rest," the priest said.

Angie bumped into Kyona on her way home.

"Oh, Kyona, what are you doing here?" The purple-haired girl asked. Kyona looked around.

"Looking for trouble," she said. Angie blinked.

"E-Excuse me?" She asked. Kyona looked her straight in the eyes.

"I'm looking for a yakuma to attack me so that Sakura Guardian can come and rescue me," she said. She pulled out a piece of cake. "I made this for him and I want to give it to him for thanksgiving!" Angie's eyes became so wide they might have fallen out of her head. But they didn't.

"B-but you at least have your red pen with you, in case Sakura Guardian doesn't show up, right?" She asked, crossing the fingers of her mind. Kyona shook her head.

"Nope! I can't have any chance of defending myself," she said. Angie gawked.

"Well, um, I'll come with you. You know, in case Sakura Guardian doesn't come," she said. Kyona waved her and dismissively.

"It's fine. I know he'll come," she said. She started walking away.

"Do you even know who Sakura Guardian is?" Angie called, to Kyona's back.

"I don't have to!" Kyona called out, running. "All I need to know is that we're destined to be a couple!" Angie sighed, turning around.

* * *

Angie was sleeping peacefully in her bed when something slammed into her window. She woke with a start and opened it.

"Van?" She called, nervously. "Is that you?" The purple harvest sprite from before flew into her face. She squeaked and fell back.

"Waaaaaaah! There's a monster in the church! Akari's window is locked! I'm scared! Waaaaaaaah!" The sprite cried. Angie stood.

"Monster?" Angie bolted out the door.

* * *

Mira stood at the altar, scowling, holding Matt by the neck and holding a dagger to his chest. Kyona stood before her, trembling with fear.

"Let him go!" The red-head called out. "He didn't do anything to you!" Mira cackled.

"You impudent little brat," she sneered. "I'll kill your boyfriend just to teach you a lesson!"

"Kyo, don't worry about me! Just run away!" Matt shouted. Mira tightened her grip on him so that he was unable to breath.

_Oh, man. This is bad. If I transform right here, Matt will know that I'm Magical Appuru-chan, but if I run away to transform, she'll—wait a minute…_

"HE IS NOT MY BOYFRIEND!" She shrieked. Mira brought the dagger closer to his chest.

"Oh? So, if I kill him, you won't care?" She asked. Kyona shuffled her feet and looked at the ground.

"Hey, I didn't say that…" she said.

"Stop!" A voice called out. The church doors burst open to reveal Sakura Guardian. Kyona squealed happily and Matt groaned. Mira dropped Matt and pointed the dagger at Sakura Guardian.

"What are you going to do?" She asked. Sakura Guardian looked at her, troubled.

"I'm supposed to save damsels in distress from evil men, but… this time, the man needs to be saved from the damsel! I'm so confused!" He cried. Kyona held her cheeks in her hands and blushed, looking at him, with hearts floating above her head. Matt looked at Kyona, scowling.

Mira charged forward, with the dagger pointing at him. Sakura Guardian raised his sword and blocked the blow. The dagger flew out of Mira's hand and fell on the ground.

"I do not wish to hurt you, my lady," Sakura Guardian said.

"Works for me," Mira responded, pulling out a hammer. "It'll just make it easier for me to hurt you." She raised the hammer over her head and charge at him.

"WAIT!" Magical Yamu-pyon shouted, bursting in, followed by the purple harvest sprite. "Aunt Mira, stop it! This is not what your husband would have wanted!" Mira stopped.

"M-my husband?" Mira sputtered. She dropped the hammer and shivered, as tears started to fall. Finally she glared at the girl. "My husband would have wanted me to remember him!"

"No, he wouldn't! Not like this!" Magical Yamu-pyon's cries were unheard. "Decent Yam Euphoria!" Mira was unaffected by the attack. Magical Yamu-pyon jumped out of the way and hid under a pew.

"Magical Yamu-pyon! I have an idea! Follow me!" A now-grinning Edge said. Magical Yamu-pyon followed him, crawling under the pews, to the back of the church, and through the door up to the bell. Mira pursued.

Meanwhile, an infatuated Kyona made her way to where Sakura Guardian stood.

"So…" she said, shyly twiddling her fingers. "Thank you for saving us."

"Tch. Thanks for nothing," Matt mumbled, bitterly.

"Matt! That is no way to talk to someone who just saved your life!" Kyona scolded.

"It's alright, my lady. I can't expect manners from such a fool," Sakura Guardian said. Kyona nearly melted. She sighed, lovingly.

"You're so forgiving…" she said, in a fangirlish tone. She gasped, remembering something, and pulled out the piece of cake. "I made this for you. I want you to have it!" The church's front doors slammed. They both looked and saw that Matt was gone.

"Well, I must be going, fair maiden. Take care," and with that, Sakura Guardian disappeared.

* * *

"Shining Lavender Antidote!" Magical Yamu-pyon called out. The bell played its song. Mira shrieked in agony and fell on her knees, covering her ears. Finally, she fainted, back to normal.

* * *

Kyona toppled into her room and nearly fell asleep on the floor. She looked up at her bed where Gary sat, eating cake.

"Where did you get that?" She asked.

"I don't know," he said. "I fell asleep and it was here when I woke up." Kyona took off her shoe and threw it at him. It hit him and he tumbled backwards, to the wall.

"That was probably mine, you pig!" She shouted.

"Who would want to give cake to you?" Gary demanded.

"I… well… shut up, Gary!" Kyona replied.

* * *

Matt was walking home, looking down, and frowning, with his hands in his pockets. He kicked pebbles on the way.

A mysterious figure smirked at him as he passed. An object glowed red in the figure's hand. Matt looked at it and fell to his knees, feeling like he was choking.

Finally, he stood up, smirked, and laughed.

* * *

Next time: Battaru of Love!


	22. Battaru for Love!

_Kyona sat on bed at the clinic, wailing, as the doctor dressed her burn._

_Zack sat on the bench in the waiting room, while Akari paced in front of him, and Fin following her. _

"_Don't worry," Anissa said. "The burn isn't that bad. She's going to be fine." Akari stopped and turned to look at Zack._

"_What on Earth were you thinking!" she demanded. _

"_I told you!" Zack shouted. "The Wizard told me to do it. He said that it would only hurt like a pinch. He said that it wouldn't be dangerous." Akari sighed._

"_When will you stop blaming others for your mistakes? Why can't you just grow up!" At that moment, Fin disappeared.

* * *

_

Zack, with his backpack on his back, climbed out of his window and ran to the forest.

* * *

Kyona sleepily wandered through town, when she tripped over Van.

"What are you doing here, you creep?" she demanded. Van was too busy despairing to listen to her. Kyona followed his gaze and gasped as she saw Angie talking to Matt.

"So," Matt said, scratching the back of his head. "I heard you liked fishing. You want to maybe go fishing with me? We could trade some tips." Angie blushed.

"Well…" she said. "Okay, I guess. That sounds fun." And they left.

"What the heck?" Kyona said. "Since when does Matt like Angie?" Van grabbed Kyona's ankle.

"Please," he begged. "Take him back. Don't let him take Angie from meeeee."

"What the—" Kyona said. "Let go of me!" she demanded, shaking her leg. He went flying backwards. "Besides, it… it's not like I care if he dates another girl. It's not like I LIKE him or anything!" She walked back to her house.

* * *

As Kyona sat at her desk, pretending to be doing her homework, Gary sneezed and flew over to her.

"Kyonaaaaaa," he whined, and sniffled. "I'm dying." Kyona flicked him away.

"You have a cold, stupid. That's what happens in winter," she said, and tried to go back to thinking. Gary sneezed again.

"I don't think that's supposed to happen to me. I think it may be a really powerful yakuma!" he said. Kyona glared at him.

"Stop bothering me," she said. Gary blinked.

"Don't you want to go find it?" he asked. Kyona stood up.

"Stay here. I'll make you some soup," she said.

* * *

Angie and Matt were standing by the waterfall preparing to cast their lines.

Angie was troubled.

"Wouldn't it be better to come here early in the morning?" She asked. Matt shrugged.

"It doesn't really matter," he said. "There are plenty of fish all the time." He tugged his fishing line. Angie sighed.

"Matt, what is this about? I know Kyona's the one you like," she said.

"You really want to know?" Matt asked, in a slightly darker tone, holding his fishing line ready. Angie nodded. "Eliminating the competition," he lunged at her and wrapped the line around her neck. She tried to scream, but had no breath to do so.

"M-Matt, why?" She struggled to say, weakly. Matt looked up despite… well, you know the drill.

"Well, Sakura Guardian? Don't you want to come and save her? Or do you only care about playing the hero when my Kyo's the one in danger?" he shouted.

A pink blur appeared and slashed the line around Angie's neck, then disappeared as quickly as it had come.

Matt looked around and saw Sakura Guardian land on a cliff, his sword in his hand.

Angie fell to her hands and knees and coughed, rubbing her neck.

"Hark!" Sakura Guardian shouted. Then he sneezed and sniffled. "I will not allow a fair damsel to be murdered while I'm around!" Matt smirked.

"It's about time," he said. "I was beginning to think that you wouldn't show up!" He cracked the broken fishing line like a whip.

* * *

"Gary, soup!" Kyona called out, entering her room. The room was empty and the window was open. There was a note on her desk. It read:

_Dear Kyona,_

_JUSTICE!_

_-Sakura Guardian_

_P.S. Don't come to the waterfall._

Kyona dropped the note and the soup and ran.

* * *

Sakura Guardian's sword clashed against Matt's fishing rod.

"Your weapon is surprisingly durable," Sakura Guardian said.

"And your skill surprisingly weak," Matt responded.

"You seem to have something against me. Why?" Sakura Guardian asked.

"Because it's YOUR FAULT that Kyo doesn't love me!" Matt said.

Their weapons clashed again.

"MATT!" Kyona called out, running toward them. "Matt, what the hell are you doing?" Sakura Guardian put a hand up to stop her.

"Stay back, fair maiden!" He said. "This young man has been turned into what you call a yakuma! There's no reasoning with him right now!" While Sakura Guardian was distracted, Matt struck him with the fishing rod. Sakura Guardian fell to the ground. Matt raised the rod to strike again. Kyona tackled him.

"Get a hold of yourself, Matt!" She said, struggling to keep him down.

"Stay out of this, Kyo!" Matt said. Sakura Guardian glowed pink and started shrinking. All three others present watched him change into his true form.

"… GARY?" Kyona shouted.

Indeed, lying there, where Sakura Guardian once was, Gary slept, snoring, with a face red with fever.

"And I wanted to…" Kyona said. "… BLEGH!" Matt cackled. He rolled over so that he was on top of her, and pinned her down.

"Now there's no one getting in my way!" He said. She squirmed, and he leaned in close to her…

"Decent yam euphoria!" Magical Yamu-pyon shouted. Matt screamed in agony and crawled back. He writhed.

"What the hell?" Kyona said, getting up. "The attack is supposed to make people happy, but… he looks like he's in pain." Gary, half-asleep, flew to her side.

"Told you he was a powerful yakuma," he said. "He's so filled with evil that feeling happy is physically painful for him." Kyona gasped as her heart fell.

"But… I can still change him back, right?" She asked. Gary shrugged.

"I can't guarantee anything, but… worth a try, I guess," he said. Kyona wrote the phrase in her notebook and transformed.

"Heav'n has no rage, like love to hatred turn'd... so KNOCK IT OFF, Matt!" All three others present stared blankly at Magical Appuru-chan. "… Yeah, I know classic literature." Gary shook his head to snap himself out of his stupor.

"Kyona's inexplicable moment of intelligence aside, they'll show you the consequences of trying to kill me!" Gary said, to remind the audience that Kyona did indeed have a magical girl catchphrase.

"Matt, why are you doing this?" Magical Appuru-chan asked.

"Because I love you, damn it!" Matt replied. "Because you don't return my feelings! You don't even notice my feelings!" Kyona blinked.

"But, Matt…" Kyona said. "I DO love you. I've loved you for a long time. It's just that my dream of becoming a magical girl is more important than anything else. Don't you know, magical girls don't date their childhood friends?"

"That's not true. The childhood friend gets the girl in lots of shows. Haven't you seen the third-to-last episode of _DokiDoki Saga_? Her mysterious protector turned out to be her childhood friend, and they started dating! And then their love defeated the Fallen Queen! It was awesome!" Gary said. Everyone stared at him. "… I-I was waiting for Shonen Hour to start, okay?"

"… Anyways, Matt, I can never love you again if you continue to be a monster-of-the-week. Those are most definitely not love interests!" Magical Appuru-chan said. Matt stepped back.

"You… you loved me all along?" He asked. Magical Appuru-chan nodded. "… Change me back. I want to be the person that you fell in love with again." Kyona smiled.

"I knew you would, Matt. Shining Apple antidote!" She threw her scepter at him. It hit him in the forehead and he was knocked out. The three ran over to him.

"Is he gonna be okay?" Magical Yamu-pyon asked. Magical Appuru-chan held him up.

"He'll be fine. You go ahead and go home, Angie. I'll stay here until he wakes up. Gary, go take a nap," Magical Appuru-chan said. Magical Yamu-pyon ran off and Gary floated away.

Matt soon stirred and opened his eyes, then closed them, as he usually did. As he awoke, he saw Kyona, in her normal clothes, smiling down at him.

"Huh? Kyo? What happened?" He asked. Kyona kissed him, much to his confusion. "… Wha?" he asked, when she had broken the kiss.

"Come on, follow me and I'll explain," Kyona said.

* * *

"Kyo, do you remember when we first met?" Matt asked, holding Kyona's hand and walking her back to her house. Kyona tapped her chin in thought.

"Mmm… can't say that I do. What about it?" Kyona said.

"Well…" Matt began.

* * *

_Matt waddled into Horn Ranch's shop, one hand held by his mother and the other held by his father._

"_Why, look who it is!" Grandma Hanna said. Akari was sitting at the table, sipping tea._

"_Akari! I haven't seen you in forever!" Matt's mom said. Akari laughed and nodded._

"_Between Zack, Kyona, the animals and the crops, I hardly have any free time anymore," she said. "You wouldn't believe what Zack did the other day! And he's been acting so strangely since then…" Matt's mom looked down at him._

"_Why don't you go and play while the grown-ups chat, Matt?" She said._

"_Kyona's playing in the tower last I checked. I don't think you two have met yet," Akari added._

_Matt climbed up the stairs to the top of the tower where a mysterious green bell stood. Once there, he saw a red-headed girl pointing a stick at the bell._

"_Hypa hawt! Beast Wevew!" The girl said. "… Dawen! Stop fawwing asweep when I'm attacking you! You suppose to be in pain! You da wost monsta eva!"_

"_Uh…" Matt said. The girl jumped and turned around._

"_Hi, I'm Kyona!" She said, waving. "Do you wanna be a monsta?"_

"_You talk weird," Matt said. "How come you can't say R?" Kyona pouted._

"_My mommy says dewe's nothin' wong wif da way I talk. I see kids on TV talk wike dis aw da time," she said._

"_Nuh-uh!" Matt argued. "I never seen a kid on TV!"_

"_Weh, you TV is stupid!" Kyona said. Matt gasped and Kyona covered her mouth._

"_You said a bad word!" Matt said._

"_No I didn'!" Kyona shouted._

"_I'm gonna tell my mommy on you!" Matt said. Kyona tackled him._

"_If you make me get in twouba I tew my daddy and he gonna thwow you away!" She said. She paused. "How come you gots you eyes cwosed aw da time?" She put her fingers on his eyelids and forcefully opened them. "Dat's bettew. Hey! I wike you eyes. Dey da same cowa as Pwince Fwuit's eyes! … And his haiw."_

"_Get offa me!" Matt said. She did, and extended a hand to help him up._

"_So, do you wanna pway wif me? You don't have ta be da monsta. You can be da pwince if you want," Kyona said. Matt looked at her, blankly. Then he grinned devilishly at her._

"_Rawr! I'm gonna get you!" He said. Kyona screamed, giggled, and ran away.

* * *

_

"At that moment… I think I was in love with you before I even knew it," Matt said. Kyona stared for a moment. Then she glomped him.

"I still like your eyes," she said. "They're so unique. And they're yours."

* * *

Kyona sighed happily and opened her front door when Matt was gone. Her smile faded at the sight of her mother crying on the couch and her father pacing the room. At the sight of Kyona, Akari sprang forward and grabbed her.

"Oh, thank harvest goddess that at least you're safe!" she said, hugging her.

"Huh?" Kyona asked. "What are you talking about?"

"Kyona," Ignis said from in the room. "Zack is missing."

* * *

Next time: Search for Zakkusu!


	23. Search for Zakkusu!

This is the second-to-last chapter. Also, it's short. But the next chapter is super-duper long. I REGRET NOTHING~

* * *

Kyona froze.

"But… but how?" She asked. "Dad, you're a god. Can't you sense where he is?" Ignis shrugged.

"Kyona, you forget, he's a demigod," he said. "I know it sounds crazy that he could be so powerful, but if he doesn't want me to find him, I'm not going to find him."

* * *

"Zack!" Dakota called, just as everyone else did, wandering through town. Someone tapped on her shoulder. It was Heath. "What is it, Heath?" Heath shuffled his feet.

"I've been thinking about the whole cooties thing…" he said. Dakota blinked. "I've decided that they don't exist, and I want to give you a chance." Dakota's eyes shined like stars. She grabbed his arm.

"Come on; let's go to my house while no one's home!" She said, dragging him off.

* * *

Zack was pushed into some chair in some dark room… somewhere. A man shrouded in shadows stood before him and on one side, a woman leaned against a wall with her arms crossed, also shrouded in shadow, and on the other side of the mystery man, Magical Mashurumu-sama stood.

"Let me go!" Zack said. The man smirked.

"I'll let you go when I feel like it," he said.

"Wizard, please, this has gone too far!" Magical Mashurumu-sama pleaded, grabbing the man's sleeve. The Wizard swatted her away and she fell to the floor.

"Go run off and play. The grown-ups are talking," the Wizard said. She burst into tears and ran off.

"Shouldn't we stop her?" The woman asked. The Wizard smirked.

"No matter," he said. "I only let her help us so that no one would catch me turning people into my pets. She won't do anything that will compromise our plans."

"Zack!" Luke called out, chopping into a stomp. "He's not in this stump!" Selena frowned.

"Darling, why would Zack be in a stump?" She asked. Lucy chopped down a tree.

"And he's not in this tree!" She said.

"And what would you have done if he WAS?" Selena asked.

"Perhaps he's hiding behind those rocks!" Lucy said, pointing to a line of rocks.

"Brilliant, my daughter! Come on, let's go borrow Owen's hammer!" Luke said. Selena stomped her foot.

"Stop ignoring me!" She said. Lucy and Luke high-fived and ran off. "Oh, for Pete's sake…" and she trudged after them.

* * *

Akari was standing by her door in case Zack came home.

Hikari ran to her side, looking as if she was about to cry.

"Oh, Akari," she cried.

"Hikari, did you find Zack?" Akari asked.

"Well, um… you see… I'm going to keep looking!" And Hikari ran off.

* * *

Kyona was looking around for Zack when she was pulled into a bush.

"Shhh!" Hikari said, holding her down. "I have a confession to make."

"Aunt Hikari, this isn't the time for this," Kyona said, trying to get up. Hikari held her down.

"No, this is important!" Hikari insisted. "Ya see… the truth is… I'm Magical Mashurumu-sama." Kyona fumed.

"You WHAT?" She demanded. "How could you!" Hikari twiddled her fingers.

"Well, I thought the Wizard would love me if I helped him, but I was foolin' myself, and now he went too far," Hikari said.

"Why would the—oh my Dad!" Kyona said. Hikari nodded.

"And… there's something else…" Hikari said, sheepishly.

"What is it?" Kyona asked.

"Well… I know where Zack is," Hikari said.

"AND YOU DIDN'T TELL US THIS?" Kyona screamed.

"Shhh! I don't want Akari to know what I did. She'd hate me if she found out," Hikari said.

"And you think I'd forgive you no matter what?" Kyona said.

"Well, no… but I'd rather have you hate me than her. Besides, you can resolve this and she can't. You'll see. Follow me," and she snuck out of the bush so that no one could see her. Kyona followed.

* * *

When Hikari and Kyona burst into the Witch's house, it was completely dark, with the Wizard lying unconscious on the floor. Kyona shook him.

"Wizard! Hey, Wizard! Wake up!" She said.

"He's not going to wake up anytime soon," a voice behind them said. Kyona looked around and saw the Witch. "His body is recovering from being possessed for a long time."

"You mean we're too late?" Hikari asked.

"Too late for what?" Kyona asked. The Witch nodded. She looked at Kyona.

"The Wizard you know is not really the Wizard. He'd been possessed by an evil spirit since before you were born. Now, however, the spirit has found a better host," the Witch said.

"But… who?" Kyona asked.

"Take a wild guess," a sinister voice said. Kyona turned around.

Standing before her, smirking evilly, was Zack.

* * *

Next Time: Za Endo!


	24. Za Endo!

Welp, this is it, folks. The final chapter. I admit, I could've done better with this, but, eh, I'm satisfied with it. Been a fun ride, eh? Well, I had fun...

* * *

Zack smirked at Kyona, walking towards her.

"Well, little sister? Aren't you going to attack me?" He asked. He cackled. Kyona stepped back, nervously.

"I… I am not your little sister!" She said. Zack clapped.

"How perceptive of you. No, I'm not Zack. I'm just using his body," he said. "Would you like to guess who I really am?"

"Leave my brother alone!" Kyona said. 'Zack' frowned.

"You're no fun. Just like your father," he said. "Fine, I'll tell you. I'm the demon king. I tried to take over this island long ago, but your father got in the way. Now all I want is revenge for all the years I've had to spend as a helpless little moth."

"It was your fault for trying to take over the island in the first place!" Kyona said. The Demon King glared at her. Then he chuckled.

"Do you know how I possess people? Can you guess what it is? I can only possess people with a hidden darkness in their heart—when they're sad, or angry, but they won't show it. That's how I possessed the Wizard. He was secretly heartbroken when your mother rejected him so many years ago. It's the same with my pets—I believe you call them 'yakuma'? The more darkness they keep hidden in their hearts, the more powerful they are," The Demon King said. He smiled. "So, how's that burn scar of yours? I was pleased to see that it lasted so long. When I told your brother to burn you with his powers as a joke, I didn't think he would actually be dumb enough to go through with it, but, then, children are so easily manipulated, you know? And I'm glad I did. That was the first—and only—time I'd seen his true power, and that was the moment I'd decided to take him as my host instead of the wizard. Of course, I had to wait for the right moment—when the guilt and confusion in his heart became too much for him. It's been a long wait, but so worth it. This body is so much stronger than that fool, the Wizard! Would you like a demonstration?" The Demon King snapped his fingers and the Witch, her house, and the Wizard was gone. Instead, they were on top of Garmoni Mountain, on Ignis's throne, standing before the Harvest God.

Ignis turned around and grinned at the sight of them.

"Zack! I'm so glad you're—" he began, but was cut off.

"Dad, no, it's the Demon King! He's using Zack's body!" Kyona shouted. Ignis froze.

"The Demon King?" He asked, staring at the person occupying Zack's body. The Demon King nodded.

"It's true. I'm just taking your son for a joyride. So, did you miss me, _Dad_?" The Demon King said. Ignis flared up and raised a glowing hand. The Demon King wagged a finger at him.

"Tsk, tsk, the only reason you managed to kill me last time was because you destroyed my physical body, and the manifestation of my power survived. If you do that again, you'll kill Zack, and I'll be just fine. Heck, I'll probably possess your precious little girl here, since she's as strong as Zack. With the state she's in, it will be easy," the demon king said. Ignis lowered his hand.

"You still can't kill me," he said.

"True," the Demon King responded.

"So what do you want?" Ignis asked.

"I want you to kneel down in defeat. I want your daughter to see how pathetic you are," the Demon King said.

"Dad, don't!" Kyona begged. Ignis looked at Kyona apologetically then glared at the Demon King and knelt before him. The Demon King chuckled.

"Excellent," he said. Kyona ran off, with tears streaming down her cheeks.

* * *

Hikari ran to Akari's house. Behind her, the Witch trudged, lugging the unconscious Wizard on her back.

Hikari stopped and turned around.

"Come on! We've gotta hurry!" she said. The Witch huffed.

"Don't mind me, I'm just carrying a ton on my back!" she said. Hikari blinked.

"Okay, then!" She said, and started running again. The sky turned black. The Witch looked up at it.

"Uh oh… this is bad," she mumbled, and ran after Hikari.

* * *

Kyona fell to her knees and cried at the Harvest Goddess's spring.

"What is the matter, my child?" the Harvest Goddess asked, smiling serenely.

"Everything," Kyona sobbed.

"The answers you seek are within you," the Goddess said. Kyona looked blankly up at her.

"Wha… what does that even mean?" She asked. The Harvest Goddess smiled at her.

"Think about it," she said.

* * *

Lucy and Roy were sitting on Akari's roof, watching for monsters as they were told to do.

Lucy shivered.

Roy took off his jacket and held it out to her. Lucy stared at it for a moment.

"Ha! Nice try, Roy, but I will not have you beat me at being cold! You won't beat me this time! What do you have to say to that!" Lucy said. Roy narrowed his eyes at her.

"I like you," he said.

"Ha ha! That's what I—wait, what?" Lucy said.

"I. Like. You." Roy repeated. "Even before you said we were rivals, or whatever. The day we kissed was the greatest day of my life." Lucy stared blankly at him.

"Fine! I'll let you win this time, but next round, you're mine!" And she pounced on him.

* * *

Kyona was sitting with her chin on her knees, contemplating the Harvest Goddess's words.

"I know what I must do," she said. The Harvest Goddess smiled. Again.

"Good luck, Kyona," she said. Kyona ran off.

* * *

Angie and Van were running to Akari's house when they were attacked by a flock of monster birds. Angie squeaked. Van pushed her out of the way and received the full force of the birds' attacks.

"Van!" Angie cried. The birds flew away and Van fell to the ground. Angie ran to his side. "Van, are you okay?"

"I'm… I'm fine…" Van said. "As long as you're okay." Angie picked him up on her back and carried him. "No, just leave me. Save yourself."

"I can't do that, Van," Angie said. "I mean, we're friends, right?" Van's heart skipped a beat.

"Angie, if we survive, do you want to maybe have lunch with me? You know… like a date?" He asked. Angie giggled.

"Sure, Van. I'd love to go out with you when this is over," she said.

And with that, in an adorable and totally believable way, all the teens of Castanet were paired off. Except Vivian and Zack.

* * *

In Akari's house, everyone in town stood, shoulder-to-shoulder, staying together for protection.

Gary flew out from somewhere, but only Akari could see him.

"So, you finally show your face, huh?" She muttered, smirking knowingly. Gary glowed and turned into Sakura Guardian.

"Who the heck is he?" Someone in the crowd asked.

"I am your hero, your savior… Sakura Guardian!" Sakura Guardian said, flamboyantly.

"Jeez, ego much?" someone else said. Sakura Guardian frowned but kept his head held high.

"Worry not, citizens! I shall fight this evil that is plaguing you!" He said.

"Oh, that's okay. We're pretty sure the Harvest Senshi is already on that," Maya said. Sakura Guardian face faulted. Vivian ran, Dakota left Heath's side, Lucy jumped down the chimney and Angie stopped nursing Van to come to Sakura Guardian's aid.

"What's the matter with you people!" Vivian demanded.

"Uh, what Vivian means is, the harvest senshi needs all the help they can get!" Dakota said.

"Come on, Sakura Guardian, we'll help you face that evil!" Lucy said. The girls pushed him out the door.

* * *

Kyona arrived at the foot of Mount Garmoni, out of breath, and tired. She touched the inscription on the side of the mountain. Nothing happened.

"What the…" she said. She slapped it. Then she punched it. She nursed her swollen hand, but she didn't teleport. "Are you kidding me?"

"Need some help?" Magical Koko-hime said, behind her. Kyona turned around and saw the rest of the Harvest Senshi, plus Sakura Guardian.

"You guys, go hide from the monsters. This is something I have to do on my own," Kyona said. Magical Koko-hime frowned and slapped her.

"Haven't you learned anything? When was the last time you accomplished anything on your own? Matt? He was a kitten compared to this guy. You need our help and we're going to give it to you whether you like it or not," she said. Kyona sighed and nodded.

"Go get the sprites and their bells and meet me at the top," she said.

* * *

The Demon King stood, smirking smugly at the Harvest God, who was still kneeling before him.

"Hmm… my legs are getting tired. I'll have to have a proper throne put up here," the Demon King mused.

"Not so fast, bitch!" Magical Appuru-chan shouted, coming out of the mine. She fell on her face and huffed. "DAMN that was hard!"

"You're a demigoddess… why didn't you just teleport up here?" The Demon King asked. Magical Appuru-chan glared at him, still on the ground.

"I… you… shut… the… hell… up…" she said, between heaves. Final, she stood, still tired, and pointed at him. "Demon King! I'll show you the consequences of… everything you did over the past two seasons or so!" The Demon King laughed.

"You don't still think you can beat me, do you?" The Demon King asked.

"No. I KNOW I can beat you!" Magical Appuru-chan said. She ran to her father's side and knelt beside him.

"Dad, with your help, we can beat him!" She said.

"It's useless…" Ignis said. "He's right. I'm not strong enough to defeat him without… without killing Zack."

"No, you're not. But together, we are!" Magical Appuru-chan replied. The Harvest senshi and Sakura Guardian teleported to their side, with their respective sprites with them, and with Sakura Guardian with Alan, "Everyone ready?"

"Ready!" The senshi replied.

"Shining apple antidote!"

"Shining gold ore antidote!"

"Shining blueberry antidote!"

"Shining orange antidote!"

"Shining lavender antidote!"

"Uhh… shining sakura antidote?" Alan's bell remained silent. "… Shining cherry antidote?" Alan's bell started ringing with the rest of them.

"Dad?" Magical Appuru-chan said. Ignis raised his mighty hand and hit the Demon King with a blast of orange energy.

The Demon King screamed in agony. Finally, Zack fell to the ground, unconscious, and a shadow with eyes rose from his body. It screamed, silently, and held its head in pain, before disintegrating.

"Uh… was that awesome or anticlimactic?" Magical Appuru-chan asked. Magical Koko-hime shrugged.

"Who cares? It's over now," she said.

"And we saved the island," Magical Yamu-pyon added. Magical Eggu-kun pumped her fist in the air.

"We're HEROES!" She said. Magical Panpukin-senpai nodded.

"And no one got killed," she said. Sakura Guardian grinned.

"And—" he was cut off by the next scene.

* * *

"So it was you who created the pens?" Kyona asked, looking at the Witch, who had her arms crossed in boredom.

"Of course it was me. Who else could do something so powerful? … Don't answer that. Anyway, life's no fun without the wizard to compete with. I COULD have defeated him myself to begin with, but I thought this way would be more fun. Plus, I've always wanted to be an evil accomplice," the Witch said. "Now, I wonder what to do about him…" she pointed at the Wizard.

The Wizard sat on his knees, looking downward. He wasn't angry, or sad. There was no emotion on his face.

"Erm… Wizard?" Kyona attempted, to no avail.

"I let my emotions get the better of me," the Wizard said. "And looked what I've done because of it. Perhaps it would be better if I just…" he pulled out a dagger.

"NO, DON'T-" everyone else shouted, expect for Ignis, who was picking his ear in the background.

Hikari slapped him.

"What's the matter with you?" She exclaimed. "You're gonna kill yourself over one small thing? You can't just escape that sorta thing! You gotta work to make up for the things you've done! Plus, I… a lot of people would be sad if you died!" The Wizard stared.

He stood up and took her by the hands.

"You're right, Hikari. Will you help me repent for my wrongdoings?" Hikari blushed and giggled.

"Well, I reckon you gotta do all that by yourself to really make up for it, but I'll stand by and cheer you on, if that'll help," she said.

"Good enough," The Wizard said, shrugging.

The onlookers cheered, except for Ignis, who wasn't really paying attention.

* * *

Zack walked past his mother, who was suppressing tears. He looked back and smiled at her, and she smiled back, happy for him, but finally lost control, and started crying.

He walked past Kyona, who was smiling happily for her brother, and Matt, who was holding Kyona's hand, and smiling.

He passed Lucy, who was grinning, giving him a thumbs-up, and Roy, who was rubbing his head, shyly.

He walked by Dakota and Heath, who were too wrapped up in each other to notice anything or anyone else.

Next was Angie, tearing up, and Van, who was trying to dry Angie's tears with a handkerchief.

And finally, there was Vivian, standing by herself and looking downward, depressed.

She smiled up at him with tears in her eyes.

Zack continued down the dock and bordered the ship.

* * *

Akari was sitting, cross-legged, on Ignis's throne, while Ignis was resting his head in her lap. She had some kind of magazine in her hand, which she leafed through, casually.

The magazine was labeled "TV Guide," with a picture of some kind of magical girl illustrated on the cover.

"Let's see," Akari said. "First, there's 'Dakota Smells'… nice name. Next, it's The Island News, hosted by Mayor Vivian and after that… oh! Look, Ignis! Our daughter made a TV show based on me!" She shoved the magazine in his face. Ignis opened one lazy eye to see what she was talking about.

Akari was pointing at the 7:00 show, titled _The Woman Who Wouldn't Grow Old_. Ignis smirked.

"Are you still bitter about that after all these years?" He asked, playfully. Akari sniffed.

"You should have asked my permission first," she said.

"But you would have refused."

"Exactly!"

Ignis sighed.

"Well, our children are happy…" he said, side-stepping the subject. Akari scowled.

"Kyona picked the perfect career for herself," she conceded.

"And Zack is an excellent farmer, thanks to you," Ignis said.

Meanwhile, in a studio in Harmonica Town…

"And… cut!" A red-headed woman called. The camera stopped running, seemingly on its own.

The purple-haired woman on set wiped the sweat from her brow.

"Thank goodness… I was so nervous!" She declared. The red-head smiled at her.

"You did great, Angie. _Gems in the Rough_ is going to be a hit!" The red-head said, assuring.

"If you say so, Kyona…" Angie said.

The view panned to a ship.

"That's it… keep it steady…" The brunette captain said to his red-haired eight-year-old. "Yuna, you're a natural!" The little girl frowned.

"Daddy, are we going to be home soon? I don't want to miss my shows," she said, uninterested. The man laughed.

"You're just like your mother, you know?" he remarked.

The camera panned again to an office in Harmonica Town, where the blond mayor was shuffling her papers.

It then panned to a house, where an orange-haired woman was making lunch for her green-haired husband and their five children; three girls and two boys.

Then it showed the mine, where a purple-or-blue-haired woman was plowing through, with her copper-headed husband and their blue-haired son was struggling to catch up.

It then cut to the clinic, where the young, black-haired doctor was bandaging a little blond girl, while said blond girl's blond, spikey-haired teenage brother nearly fainted with panic.

Then it panned to a red-headed farmer, determinedly toiling in his field somewhere.

Then it went back to the red-headed woman. She left her studio and stood out in the field, smiling up at the sky. Everything was okay.

* * *

Well, that's it. I'm done with this cast of characters. And, believe it or not, bugging me to write more won't make me feel more inclined to do so. I'm actually working on a cracktastic High School AU parody, and I'll post it here sometime in the near future, if I feel like it. Also, my friend, Fukubi, as she's called here, is writing an unofficial-and-at-first-unauthorized sequel (dunno if she's still working on it actually, but...), maybe if you annoy her enough about it she'll post it here. Or she'll block you and get pissed at me. Worth a try? Thanks for reading~


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